March 23, 2009

Absolutely NOT Related to Imelda

Bob over at the Lost Fart of Blogging had asked in one of my comments what was up with my feet.

The struggle continues. I’ve still not run since the marathon, but suspect I will start again in the next few weeks.

They look terrible.

Which brings me to my latest plight… shoes.

My husband owns his own business. When you are a small businessman, it is required that you attend functions, meet people… network. For the most part, he goes alone as I would rather be home with the kids, I’m truly not that social (although I am perfectly capable), and he’s far more extroverted than I. (I loathe small talk.)

I do, however, attend a few things with him a year. He picks and chooses what is important to him and I will acquiesce as is the right thing to do for some sort of marital harmony.

We are past the point of seven years ago when I actually heard myself say to him, testily, “I’m not going… and you can’t make me” as if I were 3 years old.

I went.


But he has learned to pick and choose and I’ve learned to give thought as to what is truly important to him and therefore, should be important to me.

This weekend there is a very big meeting, one that falls into the ‘very important to him’ category. I’d hoped that I’d managed to dodge it all together; I figured if he’d not put it on the calendar, than surely I had somehow become… exempt.

Except, I’d forgotten about his poor planning gene… and then one night, there he was asking me to attend a couple of the functions for this very very big multi-day meeting.

I finally told him the truth as to why I didn’t want to attend, having tried to avoid the issue, as simplistic as I can be, I’m not into fashion, I just do not like how my clothes fit and worse yet, the shoes I wear are all open toed and I could not would not be caught dead at a function of the kind he was speaking of, while wearing open toed shoes with the horrible feet that have become… mine.

He looked at me kind of stunned. Finally he said, “Wait. SHOES are what is keeping you from attending?”

“Yes, that’s pretty much it”, I replied.

I’ve cut the budget WAY back. His business is tanking, I’m probably going to lose my job, expenses keep going up, our savings have been nearly lost by thieves in suits, and I buy absolutely NOTHING that is not food or gas.

I am in charge of the budget in the house.

He finally said, “Go buy shoes. Find a pair of shoes, spend the money, get something to wear, and come with me.”

And this moves me into a whole new realm with my new nasty feet… I have to have a wide shoe, it must be closed toe, and I do not like that rounded style toe, that appears to be a cut made for slippers, nor do I like the pointy look that I call “Witchy Poo”.

So I drove to Nordstrom’s as they have the best selection of shoes for someone with my foot size. They actually SELL wide shoes for women.

I explained my dilemma to the shoe salesman, “8 Wide, black, heel, closed toe” and he came to me with three boxes…

… all of them black patent leather.

And that is when I realized… I really don’t like black patent leather either… unless of course it’s a 3 inch FMP… and these were not.

I said to him, “I can’t wear that for this event. That’s a summer black and it’s not Easter yet…” to which I got a *blink*.

Evidently nobody adheres to that anymore.

He pulled out the first shoe, low heel, it had the rounded toe *gag*, black patent leather *gag* and a big ass buckle on the toe.


I said, “No, I can’t wear those. I’m going to feel like a pirate…”

He actually stared at me for a couple seconds, said, “OK” while inside I know he was thinking, “FREAK!” and put them away.

The 2nd pair was also black patent leather, but was wedgy in the heel, truly hideous, and I said, ‘No, those are just ugly.”

He stared at me again… said, “OK” while inside I know he was thinking “FREAK!” and put them away.

And so he came to the 3rd box, which had a nice low heel, was black patent leather and had a buckle as well, but was not so bad.

I tried them on, they fit; I bought them.

They were expensive.

Of course, considering I prefer going bare foot, all shoes are expensive to me. These were just not Payless Shoe prices. These were ‘real women’s shoe prices’, nearly $100.


I got them in the car, looked at the bag and knew instantly I made a mistake.


I can wear a pair of shoes I don’t like or am not in love with that I pay $20 for at Payless. I cannot buy a pair of $100 shoes that I’m not in love with.

For $100, I should love them in orgasmic proportions. (Yes, I’m aware I typed that and my folks read my blog…)

So first thing this morning, after my game of Breast Cancer Limbo that I play with my radiologist, which I appear to have won this year, much to her relief and MY relief, I set out for Nordstrom’s where the shoe salesman was working.

I picked out a pair of shoes on my way, a pair I’d glanced at yesterday, asked for them in an 8 and when he looked at me quizzically as to why I was returning the other shoes I said, “I cannot do black patent leather, in particular with that buckle as I don’t know whether I look 6 years old or if I’m trying to pretend to be a pirate.”

I got ‘the stare’ again, knowing full well this time he was thinking “FREAK!”

Screw him.

Those shoes made me feel like I should either have a jump rope in one hand, an Easter basket in the other, with my hair in pig tails, or a swashbuckling sword on my hip and an eye patch with a big gold earring in ONE ear.

These new shoes are a nice mat black open shoe with an ankle strap, with a closed toe.

And they weren't $100.

I’ll attend these functions in these shoes and my new requirement for shoes are, “wide, closed toe, no witchy poo, no slipper cut, no patent leather, and no buckles on the toe”.


Posted by Boudicca at March 23, 2009 07:15 PM

We guys have it so easy. One pair of good shoes and we're done shoe shopping for a year or two.

Posted by: Bob at March 23, 2009 09:28 PM

I'm ready to live some place where people never wear shoes.

The guy actually said to me, when I returned the shoes and said I did not do buckles, "Buckles are in right now...' to which I replied, "There is a lot of crap in right now that you'd not catch me dead wearing."

I think he has me pegged as a b****. I think I have myself pegged as... not caring.

Posted by: Bou at March 23, 2009 09:51 PM

It doesn't matter in that least what's "in" right now. Really. If you don't like them, then they could be the hottest trend across the country and it WOULD.NOT.MATTER.

Shoes should fit, they should be comfortable, you should like them. Period. No matter how much you pay for them. Anything less is never worth it.

Posted by: Teresa at March 23, 2009 11:08 PM

I am right there with you! A few years ago, I developed edema, and now must wear size 8 1/2 Wide shoes, no heel, cushy sole required. It sucks! I feel like a granny....but I won't buy a pair of shoes that I hate, just because they fit.

Posted by: Mary at March 24, 2009 12:20 AM

Hey, I happen to like my black leather buckle shoes! Of course, mine are historically accurate... have huge real brass buckles that can probably deflect small caliber rifle fire... and I'm also usually sporting the baldric with the baskethilted claymore, a full weskit, and a brace of flintlock pistols...

Nothing piratey there :)

All joking aside, any man who sells woman's shoes and is surprised when they're picky is kind of an ignoramus...

Posted by: Graumagus at March 24, 2009 01:01 AM

I figure the Nordstrom guy went home and kicked the dog.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at March 24, 2009 03:05 AM

So you got the GOOD pair at Nordstroms too?

Cause you know...I'm also looking for a dressy pair of black, comfy, none witchie poo, pirate wearing comfy black shoes. Nordstroms?

Hell, I'd given up on finding anything decent.

Oh, and I'm with you...if they don't "please" me? I ain't payin' for 'em. ;-)

Posted by: Tamm at March 24, 2009 04:45 AM

I hate all the shoes at Nordstroms . . . the jeans? that is a different story all together. LOVE THE JEANS! I'm a payless shoe gal - but I'd much rather go barefooted.

Posted by: oddybobo at March 24, 2009 09:04 AM

"Those shoes made me feel like I should either have a jump rope in one hand, an Easter basket in the other, with my hair in pig tails"

That is how I feel everytime I try to buy shoes, bows and hearts are back in style for girls shoes now which sucks because I can't find a shoe to save my life now.

Most stores that carry good womens shoes don't go below a size 6 now, JCPenny is the only store in my area that carries below a 6 but they only carry one in each style.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at March 24, 2009 09:07 AM

So DSW (Discount Shoe Warehouse) in your area?

Their web site lists several in the South Florida area

My wife shops there first (we're outfitting our middle child who just got her first "permanent" job), so we are quite familiar with managing expenses.

Posted by: The Thomas at March 24, 2009 10:41 AM

Heh, there's a DSW at the Buena Park Mall for Tammi!

Posted by: The Thomas at March 24, 2009 10:44 AM

Zappos! I know you can't try them on, as it is online shopping, but the reviews are quite helpful. I have been happy with my purchases, and I have size 8 wide feet as well.

Posted by: PeggyU at March 24, 2009 11:18 AM

What Teresa said. Shoes (and clothes in general) should fit and be comfortable. And not too tacky in taste. I'll fork over a few extra bucks for a pair that'll last a year or two, but other than that I'll go as cheap as possible, without sacrificing basic quality.

Posted by: diamond dave at March 24, 2009 11:19 AM

I hate shopping for shoes above all other hates.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at March 24, 2009 07:02 PM

Thanks for the citation. You are so good for my stat counter -- makes me feel like maybe I ought to post something new. ... Nahhh!

Posted by: Bob at March 24, 2009 09:26 PM

Holy crap. Fluffy let a few people through today. Imagine! Sheesh.

Global answers...

I like Nordstroms because they will have a few pairs I like, but mostly because they do have wide shoes. I have checked the link that Peggy sent me and might start doing mail order. I actually found some of the shoes from Nordstrom's on there.

I truly hate shoe shopping and my husband was in agreement, than anyone who sells shoes to women, completely expects difficult times.

That said... in my favor... I never took over 10 minutes of his time. From the time I told him what I was looking for, to the time he brought them out, it was 10 minutes. The 2nd time was 5.

I don't linger and I make quick decisions. Indecisiveness is not a problem with me and I don't browse. I'm very task oriented.

If there is a DSW, its not near me! I know most of the places near me and I try to stay close to home.

I'm about comfort, but when I'm wearing an evening gown with opera gloves, they have to be stylish too. Its the one time, when I'm going cocktail or formal, that I demand good shoes... but I try not to sacrifice comfort too much. I really can't afford to anymore.

Bob, hey! Any time. ;-)

Posted by: Bou at March 24, 2009 09:38 PM

I have to say, as far as I'm concerned, it's his job to help you no matter how much time you take. That's what he gets paid to do!!! If he doesn't want to do that, then he needs to find something else.

It annoys me no end when a sales person doesn't do their job or tries to make me feel guilty because I want them to do their job. I have been known to stop shopping at stores where sales staff ticks me off because they actually have to... work.

Posted by: Teresa at March 25, 2009 01:44 PM

DSW has a store at Westwind Plaza in Boca on Glades Rd, but thats probably too far away for you to consider.

Posted by: The Thomas at March 25, 2009 06:35 PM

"Those shoes made me feel like I should either have a jump rope in one hand, an Easter basket in the other, with my hair in pig tails, or a swashbuckling sword on my hip and an eye patch with a big gold earring in ONE ear"

BAWAHAHAHAHAHAHA If I had hair that would give me an idea for a Halloween costume! I can visualize a pirate in pigtails with an eye patch carrying an easter basket and a jumprope and wearing those shoes. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: GUYK at March 25, 2009 08:01 PM