June 19, 2009

When Mom Gets Replaced with I-motional Support

My eldest son had his well 'child' check today as well as a couple innoculations, menigitis and chicken pox booster.

What a difference 10 years makes.

We tell the story frequently, of how I took him in for his 5 year shots, only for him to jump off the table after his first shot, screaming, 'You HIT MY BONE!'

I had to chase him down the hall and bring him back... for a second.

That was a real highlight in motherhood.

This go round, he grabbed his iPod, started to play a game and looked at the nurse and said, "OK, whenever you're ready. I just don't want to know..." and he proceeded to distract himself while she hit him in both arms.

Gone were the days where I had to promise doughnuts.

Doughnuts... the magic food for innoculation day.

"Mom, do we have to have a shot?"

"Yes, but if you're good and we just get it over with, we'll get doughnuts after."

They still talk about it amongst themselves. They did so today.

We were sitting in the waiting room, when a four year old came barreling out of one of the rooms, just having had a shot.

Holy crap. He made ANYTHING I have EVER seen in the pediatrician's office look tame.

He came screaming out, into the room where we all sat, THREW himself on the floor, screamed at EVERYONE at the top of his lungs, and continued to flop around on the floor like a fish.

It was a train wreck.

The room went silent as we all stared.

He continued... until they had him dragged to the car and then some, I am sure.

Absolutely spectacular show. Really.

He left the room and my two older boys sat quietly playing their DS while my son listened to his iPod. All three of them looked at each other.

Without looking up, Mr. T said, "They should have promised him doughnuts."

Bones: Hey, I remember that. I loved that. We always got doughnuts.

Mr. T: I know.

Ringo: Are we getting doughnuts today?

Me: Phht. I don't think so.

Nobody in the room said anything as we continued our silent banter amongst ourselves.

Doughnuts. One of my favorite foods.

When my paternal grandmother got so old she just really didn't give a crap anymore, I swear to you, she lived on pistachio ice cream and nutter butter cookies while reading romance novels that she got by the sack load from the local library.

Her ass got as wide as an axe handle, but she was happy. From 85 lbs her entire life, she probably gained 30 lbs in nutter butters and ice cream before she died. (She was never anorexic. If you were 4'8" you'd be 85 lbs too. I may be off on the height by an inch... maybe.)

Anyway, if I were going to throw caution into the wind, and pay no mind to anything but pleasure, I'd live on doughnuts.

With an occasional vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup and peanuts, thrown in for good measure.

And I'd read all day... all fiction. All the time.

I hardly eat doughnuts anymore. Truth be told... they are really bad for you.

Our newspaper did an article on an Ironman Triathlete who is also a cardiologist, last year. They asked him what foods he avoided and he said.... Doughnuts.

I was heart broken.


Why could he have not said, "Spinach. Really, it's so bad for an athlete..."


"Turnip Greens. Endurance athletes have proven time and time again, that they should stay away from Turnip Greens. No matter how they are prepared, just stay away."

Or... even Sweet Potatoes. Blech. Why couldn't he have said, "Sweet potatoes will give endurance athletes the runs. Stay away..."

But no.

He singled out my favorite food. And it doesn't matter what kind of doughnut, I love them all as long as they don't have cream in them. Blech. Those are the worst. I don't do cream filled ANYTHING. Gag!

And could he have at least singled out 'Cream Filled Doughnuts are the bane of an athlete's existence, but the cruellers will see you to the finishs line..."? He needed to throw me a bone.

He did not.

And so I stay away from doughnuts.

And today... my 14 year old kid didn't need them. Hell, he didn't need me. He just needed his iPod.


Posted by Boudicca at June 19, 2009 06:11 PM

So doughnuts make the shots better...wish I'd known that.

But truly...doughnuts can only be really enjoyed by the very young and the very old without guilt and worry.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at June 19, 2009 09:34 PM

Fresh from the oven Krispy Kremes. They frickin' melt in your mouth. I can eat a dozen at a sitting. I have.

Posted by: Denny at June 19, 2009 09:57 PM

I agree about the cream filled, yuck!

Posted by: Sissy at June 20, 2009 01:32 PM

Ma says that whe I went for my first shots before school, there was a little boy screaming and throwing a tantrum. Because of that I was very calm and smiled at the nurse.
I think it's that competitive streak in me...

Posted by: K-Nine at June 20, 2009 02:10 PM

I think that to build that kind of display you have to motivate it by rewards.

We never pulled tantrums in my family. I'm told that the reason is that if we ever did, the adults would roll around on the floor in laughter. Nowadays I guess they'd take photographs with their cell phones and post it on the internet.

Posted by: Carl Brannen at June 20, 2009 04:23 PM

Bou, Mo and I used to get shots together. Mo is the youngest, but one time she started crying, so I smacked her in the shin with an ax handle. Ain't no sobbin' after that. Well...no sobbing from the shot.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at June 20, 2009 09:17 PM

I'm lucky I guess, shots have never bothered me, or needles in general, even the huge needles used at the blood bank that turn otherwise macho friends into babies.

Foods? Love doughnuts and ice cream, but rarely indulge. Also like spinach and sweet 'taters. I hate the officially "good for you" green garbage like broccoli, brussel sprouts and cauliflower. They can use my share to interrogate prisoners....

Posted by: George at June 21, 2009 05:54 AM

I always hated tetanus shots. Those actually hurt for days afterward, so never been keen on them. However, my kids have always been tight lipped stoics about shots. I do recall once, though, I took the oldest boy in for some sort of booster shot and the nurse that administered it had her leg in a cast. I asked her what had happened, and she said some little kid had kicked her in an effort to escape and had caught her just right and broken her tibia. I never realized how dangerous pediatric nursing could be!

Posted by: PeggyU at June 21, 2009 02:00 PM