October 13, 2009

Welcome to Planet Bones

Today we continue our 5th grade journey, unmedicated for ADHD.

The latest development is he has a teacher that absolutely HATES him. HATES. Fortunately, it is not one of his two primary teachers, who are just absolutely awesome. They get it, they're working with us, I love them.

Fifth grade will not be his best year academically, but it will be a time of great personal growth for him.

Silver lining and all that.

Anyway, I have to see the teacher tomorrow and explain his situation. I will bite my tongue as my first question really wants to be, "So, tell me, who is the adult here, you or my 10 year old ADHD son? Because... I can't seem to tell."

I shall refrain.

On a lighter note, but one that still kick started my adrenaline, Bones MUST pass something called a Reading Counts test from one of his two summer reading books and he waited until 9 weeks after reading the books... I just found out. As you may recall from comments to a different post taking computerized tests are not his forte. He must resist the overwhelming urge to choose an answer HE likes best, as opposed to the answer the computer deems right.

So he must take a computerized test on the story Hoot and he must pass it. That's it... he just has to pass it. I've already made peace with the fact it's not going to happen. The following conversation occurred to the best of my recollection, while in the asexual Mom-mobile driving home from school.

Bones: No, I didn't pass.

Me, deep breath: Ok, let's think. Do you happen to remember any of the questions that you may have gotten wrong? Mr. T read the book, so let's try to do a bit of a review.

Bones: Umm. Oh yeah! I know. OK, So-and-so comes across a bear in the woods. What does he do: a) stab him in the neck with a knife, b) scream like a girl, c) throw a sandwich at him or d) run away.

Me, pensive: OK. *deeper breath, and praying he did not pick "stab him in the neck with a knife"* What did you pick?

Bones: Throw a sandwich at him...

Mr. T: Bwahahahahaha

Me: NO. NO. You did not...

Bones: No. I didn't. Umm. I picked screamed like a girl.

Me, not functioning right now with the overload of horrified adrenaline: You chose scream like a girl.

Mr. T: He didn't scream like a girl in that book!

Bones: Well... he ran away, I'm sure he was screaming like a girl. It's the same thing.

Me: No. No, it is not the same. You had two choices... he either ran or screamed like a girl, there was not an option of both. No. And do you remember him screaming like a girl in the book?

Bones: No, but you know he was...


Bones: But he ran.

Me: Yes. When you retake the test, he ran, OK?

Good Grief. I'm going to stroke. I need meds...

And the worst part is... I truly believe he really picked "Threw a sandwich at him." I KNOW deep in my heart... that was his answer.

Posted by Boudicca at October 13, 2009 09:20 PM

I cannot fathom how anybody -- teacher, lawyer, politician, airline pilot, whatever -- could hate Bones, unless they themselves had severe mental illness.

Posted by: Erica at October 14, 2009 07:32 AM

I have no doubt he must be a lovable kid in most circumstances, but if I were a teacher I couldn't help but stroke out too if he gave me answers like those. Either that, or laugh hysterically like a lunatic. Then again, I've worked before with truly lovable kids that could make you tear your hair out. Goes with the territory.

I think you and I, Bou, have the same problem - we both cannot tolerate irrationality. That is, unless Bugs Bunny or Wile E. Coyote is involved.

Posted by: diamond dave at October 14, 2009 10:42 AM

Whatever the tribulations will be while he gets an Edjamacashun, I cannot wait to see what kind of brilliant, creative adult Bones will grow up to be.

Posted by: Elisson at October 14, 2009 11:04 AM

I think he sounds like a sweet kid, Bou :) !

Maybe his reading tests are not so great, but I bet he is a wonderful writer. He must come up with great stories!

Posted by: PeggyU at October 14, 2009 02:19 PM

Hahahahha! Love it though! :)

Posted by: Richmond at October 14, 2009 03:14 PM

Hey, maybe he knows running away from a bear is incredibly stupid, and the sandwich seemed like the best survival answer. It ain't the answer from the book; it's just better.

Posted by: Toluca Nole at October 14, 2009 07:28 PM

TN - I was thinking that too. Throw the sandwich, distract the bear. Run and you attract the bear.

Of course, it depends on what kind of bear and what the situation is. And how much you really want to eat the sandwich yourself.

Posted by: PeggyU at October 14, 2009 11:54 PM