October 26, 2009

Georgia Rules

I'm back from Atlanta and TN. I got in last night around 12:30AM and by the time I got to bed, I was too exhausted for today. It's been one of those sluggish days.

This is turning into another one of those high stress weeks. Appointments are on top of meetings, on top of work, on top of life... and then my husband's Jersey family is coming in town and staying with us this weekend as his brother's baby is being Christened on Sunday. Did I say our home has been under some construction?

We're down a bathroom and we have guests coming. The house is a mess and I'm beat.

Meanwhile, what appears to be my last race is on Saturday in Miami. I signed up for it after talking to a girlfriend of mine. Why did I sign up for it?

At the time I thought I'd be doing a couple more races to ramp up to do the Disney Half in January. I needed this race to keep me ramped for the Palm Beach to keep me ramped for Disney.

And then there was the business with the medal. I want that frickin' medal.

I have to have it.


But this race is going to be my worst race ever and probably my last.

First, I'm tired of running in the heat. I am so sick and frickin' tired of it. It's not fun. It makes me miserable. And I hate it. This race is going to be HOT. (I've been running in hot S. FL weather since May. I'm done. DONE.)

Second, my feet are toast. The blisters have become a real problem and the more I power walk or run on them, the less chances they have of healing and although they look OK now, after 13.1 miles, they are going to be in bad bad shape. I just peeled off the last of the worst blister and with nuskin, hope to have it ready for Saturday's race. (There is a real friction problem with the bottom of my feet and my shoes.)

Third, I'm not good at it. I do it. I finish. But I suck at running. I can power walk and do it well, but I don't need to race to do that. I can do that around the neighborhood. I don't have the time to put into it and I'm not trained for this race like I should be.

I think the number one question asked of me this weekend was, "Are you a masochist?" (Yes, I laughed.) But some of the time it was asked, I think it was with some seriousness to it because... well... you have to see my feet. They look like they hurt.

And the answer is no, I'm not a masochist. I'm very focused and driven. And I'm an endorphin junky. I'm absolutely an endorphin junky and I readily admit it. Not adrenaline... endorphine. I get the rush starting around mile 3 and it will last until I hurt so much I can hardly stand it... which is either when a big huge blister forms on the bottom of my foot and is about to burst or mile 15, whichever comes first.

I don't anticipate a rush this race. I anticipate enduring and pain and that's it. This is not going to be pleasurable, but something to just finish. Yes, I am dreading it.

And Georgia summed it up best this weekend. Denny was sitting on the couch and Georgia was sitting on the couch arm, leaning over the back of the couch, slightly over Denny's shoulder. He had his legs propped up on the ottoman. I had asked to take his sock off and I was rubbbing his one foot. It is cool to the touch always and he told me it's because when you have a spinal injury, the circulation is poor from the injury down.

Georgia said to me something to the effect, "I don't know why you keep running. Look what you are doing to your feet. Denny would LOVE to be able to have feet that worked and look what you're doing to yours."


And it was not lost on me. As I've fought these blisters I have thought often, "Thank God I'm not a diabetic" and I've thought of Denny and some of the foot sores he's had to fight. And what Georgia said had a large ring of truth to it. (Denny busted out laughing.)

I'm not caring properly for what I have.

So I strongly suspect this will be my last race. Don't hold me too it. I'm an endorphin junky and I'm really really really struggling in a big way to quit the training.

But right now... it's looking like I'm done.

We'll see...

That medal is cool as hell though. It really is...

Posted by Boudicca at October 26, 2009 09:14 PM

I like that medal too. And there must be a tshirt. Feet will heal ;)

Posted by: PeggyU at October 27, 2009 01:30 AM

That's what I thought... it has to have a cool t-shirt! I want the tshirt...

Posted by: bou at October 27, 2009 05:54 AM

It was good to see you again. I'd rethink that next run or power-walk.

Posted by: Sam at October 27, 2009 07:19 AM

The medal will be worth it!

Posted by: JihadGene at October 27, 2009 11:07 AM

Feet? They'll eventually heal, but what about your hips and knees? They'll continue to get worse as you age, and eventually you'll lurch around like me.

Posted by: Angus of Ard at October 27, 2009 04:21 PM

Love the medal. LOL. Of course I'd never run it - I would power walk it, but never run. ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at October 27, 2009 04:35 PM

I'm so disappointed I couldn't afford to do the Tower of Terror 13K this past weekend. Some friends did it, and the medal is awesome.

I am not training well at all this season. My life is so stressful, and running is not ameliorating the stress like it used to; it's adding to my stress. I'm kinda hoping I don't meet my fundraising minimum so I have a valid excuse to bow out of the Disney half.

On the other hand, I want to do the race. I'm all about the bling.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at October 27, 2009 06:53 PM

Well I'm here to testify....you can power walk with the best of them. Whew! One little lap wore me out. It is probably better for you too.

Good luck, Bou!

Posted by: Jerry in Indiana at October 28, 2009 07:22 AM

I worry about your knees as well. My sister blew out her knees from marathons and soccer. So what does she do? She has a house built that has steps and is not wheelchair accessible. She thinks that she can just get new knees. BTW, she built this house five years ago. You should see some of the doors. I cannot get into the guest bedroom in a wheelchair. It's not like she didn't know her brother was disabled. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I'm in a wheelchair fulltime. I guess I'll just stop visiting her. Remind me to tell you the conversation she had with Cindy when the house was being built.

I meant to ask you about your bathroom renovation. I hope to do my master bathroom next year.

Posted by: Denny at October 29, 2009 03:51 PM