November 01, 2009

What Would Have Happened If Adam Had Eaten a Peach?

I have so much to blog upon, and not the time.

1) Valour-IT has started and I will start posting on that this week. There is an auction. Go shop!

2) My race. I lived! I'm not crippled! I have only one big blister on the side of my foot and it looks like I won't lose any toenails and the newskin and powder kept the blister on the bottom of my foot at bay.

3) The blogmeet at Eric's where I had the most wonderful time with people I have really grown to care about.

But you're stuck with a post about Bones. I'll get to the rest. I assure you.

I couldn't pass this up. It's another post on testing.

So my husband has been going through the chapters Bones needs to study before every test and making 3x5 cards with information Bones needs to know. I quiz him, my husband quizzes him, Bones carries them around with him. I made sure he had the patch for this last test because just because he knows the information doesn't mean he'll not Christmas tree the test.

All that work for him to make patterns in the bubble sheet or just pick answers he likes.

We have high hopes for this quarter.

My husband said to me today, "The good news is he made an 89% on his last Science test." Woot! He made a D in Science last quarter. This is progress!!!

"The bad news," he continued, "is he made a 0 on his Religion open book test. A zero. He says that he couldn't find ANY of the answers in the book. None. So he decided to answer them on his own..."

Uh oh. That does not bode well. Next thing you know, you are hungry during Salvation and we should all be breathing car exhaust.

"One of the questions was, "What are the fruits of the Holy Spirit" and not knowing it or finding it, he put apples and peaches."


I started to laugh. My husband looked at me and said sternly, "It's not funny."

I replied, "I'm sorry. It is. I have a bunch of stories I'm collecting. This one gets added."

He said, "I'm not laughing..."

I continued to laugh.

The rationale? Yes, there is a reason...

It would seem that Bones read the question and looked through the chapter for... fruit. Being literal, he thought they truly meant fruit. And so over the chapter he poured, looking to any reference to any fruit and of course... did not find one.

And so he thought and thought and finally said to himself, "Wait! Eve fed Adam an apple. It must be an apple" and so he answered, "Apples", we couldn't figure out where the peaches came from, until I asked tonight.

Bones said to me, "So you get where I got the apple?"

Me: Yeah. I get that.

Bones: Adam and Eve...

Me: Yeah. But son, where did the peach come from?

Bones: Well... *sigh*... I couldn't remember what Eve gave Adam, an apple or a peach. I got confused. So I figured if I put both, I'd get one right. I mean, I knew she was looking for a fruit...

And I still can't quit laughing...

Posted by Boudicca at November 1, 2009 09:41 PM

Personally, I think grapes would have made a good :)

Posted by: mom at November 1, 2009 11:20 PM

Hahahahaha!! I love it!! :)

Posted by: Richmond at November 1, 2009 11:52 PM

Fascinating the corners that a child's ADHD mind works it's way around.

Posted by: diamond dave at November 2, 2009 03:20 AM

I'm with Bones on this one. We should be able to take words literally. I don't know why we give single words vastly different meanings.

I remember as a kid I heard news commentators talking about "fights" in Congress and I imagined our leaders having all-out brawls, not mere verbal arguments.

Posted by: George P at November 2, 2009 08:51 AM

Oh how I love Bones! :o) Since all five of my offspring have either ADD or ADHD... well, I can sympathize. I will have to find those blog posts around here somewhere just so you won't feel alone... I have to laugh most of the time too.

Let's see.... Laugh... or Cry...

Yeah, I pick laugh every time.

Posted by: Lemon Stand at November 2, 2009 05:59 PM

OK, I give up. What ARE the fruits of the holy spirit? And what happens if he flunks religion? Do they kick him out of the Catholic church? Do they hold him back a year? The result SHOULD be that they fire the religion teacher for doing a poor job of teaching something that should be simple to 10 year olds.

Posted by: Angus of Ardmore at November 2, 2009 06:00 PM

Bones can sit by me. As a child Bible verses confused me too. The one that really bothered me the most is, "The Lord is our Shepard; we shall no want." For years I could not figure out why we wouldn't want the Lord if he was our Shepard. It finally dawned on me much later in life what the "want" meant.

Posted by: Sticks at November 2, 2009 06:50 PM

I've read this several times now and I'm still laughing. I have to ask...

"What are the fruits of the Holy Spirit"

What is the answer??? I grew up Catholic and I have NO IDEA what this question means. None at all. I would have flunked it too.

Posted by: Teresa at November 2, 2009 09:56 PM

Where is Hobbes? I keep waiting for him to attack out of nowhere...

Posted by: The Piper at November 2, 2009 10:04 PM

It was an open book test, which to most of us, would be no big deal. We'd scan the various paragraphs and find the words we needed.

But to Bones, it is not so simple. It is as if there is too much input and he has to make sense of it all. The pictures, the words, the pages and pages. He judges a book upon how many pages are in it, not on the story. Every book we read is about how many pages he must make his way through.

So an open book test is proving to be the 'test kiss of death' for him and us.

On the 2nd page of the chapter, all paragraphs in 16 point font, big print, in the 2nd paragraph, the 2nd sentence, it says 'The Fruits of the Holy Spirit are love, joy... etc."

I picked up his religion book and big as day, there it was. She asked nothing obscure really. Everything she asked was taken word for word from a sentence in the book, and as I said, it was open book.

I'm in the process of finding a teacher to meet with us, one that was recommended, to work with him on how to take open book tests.

And in all honesty? I couldn't give a rat's ass if he passes religion, but the problem lies in the fact there are open book tests in other classes, such as science, and we can't afford for him to goof those up.

It's all a work in progress to get to the end point.

As serious as it all is, however, I'm still laughing...

Posted by: Bou at November 2, 2009 10:19 PM

Well, at least it's not as obscure as I thought it was. LOL.

You're right, it's more serious with other classes, but at least Religion class is a far better place to have this "come to Jesus" moment.

Posted by: Teresa at November 2, 2009 10:44 PM

This sort of thing would get my kids in trouble too as I have taught them if they can convince me with a good argument and be able to back up their positions, I'll give them at least some credit. Sooo, he had decent reason and showed "creative thinking skills" - some credit given. Not a zero, which is virtually impossible to counter with future grades - at least some points. Teacher needs to take a chill pill, and yes - instruction on strategies to handle open book tests are in order.
Still makes me laugh out loud :)

Posted by: patti at November 3, 2009 05:45 AM

Everyone knows that the fruit on the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil was bananas. "Why a banana?" you ask. Because a banana has "appeal".

Posted by: Bob at November 3, 2009 08:24 AM

Saw this and thought of Bones. Wonder if it might help?

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at November 3, 2009 10:58 AM