November 28, 2009

Reason #2394858 as to Why We Don't Have a Dog

On our way home from my folks', there was a horrific traffic accident on the turnpike that killed a child, possibly two, and injured many. We didn't see it, but I looked it up when we got home because... we were stopped on the pike for two hours.

Everyone had their motors off, and milled around waiting... knowing it had to be horrible as we saw two Trauma Hawks come in and an ambulance or two.

We were all trying to make the best of it, not knowing exactly what had occurred. We spent the first hour and a half listening to the rest of the UF FSU game. After that was over... we were left to our own devices.

Ringo decided he was hungry (surprise!) as it as 7:00 and he was foraging around the mini-van looking for someone's, anyone's leftover sub sandwich from lunch.

He'd gotten that desperate.

Meanwhile, Bones, who had been hanging outside dancing around the car, was not burning off the energy fast enough. I was about to have him start doing laps up and down the turnpike to get that little body to burn it off faster.

It was *bounce bounce bounce* around the car. Press his face against someone's window. *bounce bounce bounce* some more. Yell at Mr. T through the window. *skip skip skip* beside the car. Push his face against a window and make faces at all of us sitting inside.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

The pike, as I said, was a parking lot. So it was safe and we kept an eye on him, with one of his brothers joining him every now and then. I banned him from inside the car at one point as I thought he was going to make me ape crap crazy. Besides, the motor was off and how much open door/close door/open door/close door/radio on for two hours/off light/on light/ off light/on light can one car battery take?

After the game was over, my husband finally got out of the car to stretch his legs with our bouncing blonde haired ball of energy.

No wonder the kid is so boney.

And the following conversation occurred, with some changes I am sure, as it was relayed to me... this is 2nd hand.

The scene: It is DARK. A guy was out with his golden lab. His wife had gone to the bushes to pee. (A woman after my heart... I was so nearly on her heels.) The dog was running back and forth, back and forth, people were walking, Bones was bouncing, my husband was standing at the side people watching, dog watching.

Man with dog, as dog starts to come back: What in the hell does she have in her mouth?

My husband looked out and saw the dog happily dopily trotting back to his owner with something biggish and darkish around her muzzle... as in carrying something.

My husband looks at the dog: Road kill...

Man with Dog: What?

My husband: Road kill...

Man with Dog *horrified*: Ahhh... NOOO! You are kidding me?!!!

My husband: No... looks kind of dried up...

Man with dog: Oh man. I have 50 lbs of dog food in the car. You think she'll eat it? NO. Instead she has to find the nastiest piece of filth and bring it back to eat!

At that point, the wife came back completely horrified...

Bwahahahahaha! That is yet another reason... we do NOT own a dog.

Posted by Boudicca at November 28, 2009 11:02 PM

But, to a doggie it smelled so good. At least it was not soft and gooshie so the dog would roll in it.

Posted by: jon spencer at November 28, 2009 11:33 PM

Oh that would have been nasty. Bones said to me, "Mom, there was all sorts of crap stuck to that roadkill... grass, dirt, junk." And that dog was going to get in their car? Gah!

Posted by: Bou at November 28, 2009 11:44 PM

The nastier it smells, the more dogs are gonna think they struck gold.

Lance and Maggie both love to roll in nasty smelling stuff, blech.

And as for eating, they will eat anything outside. Maggie has an taste for other dogs poop and they both think worm jerky is a delicacey.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at November 29, 2009 09:09 AM

Can I just say EEEEWWWWWW!!! I'll stick with our cats, thank you very much!

Posted by: Lemon Stand at November 29, 2009 07:07 PM

We know for a fact that dogs have much better senses of smell than humans. So doesn't it logically follow that we're the ones who are missing something when we don't do these sorts of things? By the way, for a long time my nickname for my buddy's westhighland terrier was "copraphagia". Now she isn't so open with that habit so I let her lick my face.

Posted by: Carl Brannen at November 29, 2009 07:22 PM

Carl- NO! She may not be so open with it, but you don't know she still doesn't do it! GAH! I'm going to barf!

Posted by: Bou at November 29, 2009 08:05 PM

Bou, I guess I won't mention then that I still drink out of my water glass after Lance or Maggie still a lick out of it.

Why waste a full glass of whatever just because the puppers dipped their tounge in it?!

Posted by: Quality Weenie at November 30, 2009 10:22 AM

I dunno about the cats either, Bou. One of our cats is a puke eater ... any puke, any source - he doesn't care!

Posted by: PeggyU at December 1, 2009 03:53 AM