January 23, 2010


I have some odd posts brewing, but today you are stuck with a post on my workplace.

I have been there for five years as of November. I can't believe it is that long and although the bloom is most definitely off the proverbial rose, I am still thankful I have a job, as I NEED it and the flexibility it provides.

Even if I am now only allowed to have one calendar and three pictures in my cube. Total. And there are inspections.

It's all good.

Whereas most companies give out pens or pencils for five year anniversaries, with cost cutting measures in full swing, my company has eliminated that has taken to giving out gift certificates to a web site that sells stuff with the company logo on it.

I wanted a clock.

I wanted the five year clock with the hands that move, with the logo, that I could display on my desk, still allowable... I think.

That is not a choice... now I have a choice of weird crap on a website.

Being the only one in the office that has hit five years since the new policy, I came into work and told our assistant about it the other day, her five years being next year, and the following conversation ensued, to the best of my recollection:

Me: Yeah, you get a gift certificate for 75 bucks, which is great except that the big ticket items are all clothes with our company name on it and I'm not walking around with an oxford with "Company B" on the breast.

E: You're kidding. Right?

Me: No. Serious as a heart attack. Let me show you. You know how hard it is to spend $75 when you don't want anything expensive? I bought 15 pens, 10 post it notes, a coffee cup, a travel mug, and 25 company golf balls for my husband. With shipping, I nearly hit $75. If I didn't buy the golf balls, that would have been a helluva lot of pens...

I pulled up the site to show her the clothes.

E: Bwhahahahaha! You're not kidding!

Me: Hey, you can buy the company wool varsity jacket, living in S. FL, you'd get so much use.

E: Bwhahahahaha.

Me: Two years ago, I got the company fleece. I figured if it got cold, I'd wear it, no sweat with the company logo, except it's not made out of warm material. It's made out.... something like polyester. If you get too close to a campfire, it might melt into a ball. Don't do it.

E: There's nothing...

Me: Pens. We'll all have lots of pens...

I wanted a damn clock.

Next time though, I'm just buying as many golf balls as I can. My husband will get use out of them... forget the damn pens.

Posted by Boudicca at January 23, 2010 11:08 PM

My company recently changed their service gift policy also. Several people were really mad because they wanted a Grandfather clock for their 20th anniversary gift and it is no longer offered. They had been eying that clock for a long time. It was a goal and then poof it was gone. Talk about a motivation killer.

Posted by: sticks at January 24, 2010 05:36 AM

Hubby's company had a really sweet anniversary catalog as well... HAD being the operative word in that sentence... For his 5 year we picked out a nice Waterford bowl... but now that he's coming up on his 10 year... nada. But like you said, that's okay. He's still employed!

Posted by: Pam at January 24, 2010 10:14 AM

In the good days at my old firm we got two different Cross pen and pencil sets, a gold or brass clock and at 20 years, a Rolex wristwatch. Don't know about the pen sets, but the Rolexes ended in '08 along with about 600 jobs, including most folks who'd earned a Rolex.

The company store sold junk similar to yours. I have a big umbrella, a sweatshirt and a few foam beer can holders.

Posted by: George P at January 24, 2010 10:42 AM

As I remember, one of our choices (for over 10 years) was a carving knife set. A great thing to be handing out in a depressed employment situation. I don't work there anymore.

Last I heard it was debit gift cards that could be used anywhere, not just on company logo stuff. Who knows what the arrangement will be for people this year.

Posted by: The Thomas at January 24, 2010 11:07 AM

At year 10, my husband got a $300 gift card for Tiffany's. Do you know what that gets you? A letter opener, or a baby rattle, or cuff links, or a sterling silver comb, or oh hey! a different letter opening. $300 does not go far at Tiffany's.

I lost the gift card something like 2 or 3 years ago. He's still pissed I lost it. But, honestly, did he need a letter opener or cuff links? He works in a ripped jeans and offensive tee shirt office, for crying out loud!

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at January 24, 2010 06:30 PM

Good Lord people, I have never worked at a company that gave you stuff for a 5 year anniversary. Although you did get that extra week of vacation (your 3rd week) at 5 years.

The auto industry doesn't give out anything until 15 years, and then it's usually some stupid trinket with their company logo. Hubby got a key chain for his 15th year.

Me, hey I haven't been at a company long enough to even earn that 3rd week of vacation yet.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at January 25, 2010 10:02 AM