April 01, 2010

Train Wreck in Aisle FOUR!!!

Have you ever seen that website where they have the awful people dressed in Walmart?

How do the voyeurs get pictures of those attrocities without being found out? My cell phone makes a noise when it takes a picture. A big noise.

I was in Publix today and I came upon a woman who... was dressed so poorly, I was so aghast, it nearly took my breath away.

It is seered into my brain, the horror of it all.

And I wanted to break out my cell phone and take a picture of it, but there is no way of hiding that CLICK and then I was afraid I'd get punched in the face. So I refrained.

I walked down the aisle and there she stood, in clothes that were 2 sizes too small, body pouring out from her clothes.

A black spaghetti strap Go Daddy tshirt, sans bra, covered her top half. Form fitting low slung jeans attempted to cover the bottom.

There were four inches between the bottom of her Go Daddy strappy boob sagging tshirt and her too snug, muffin topped low slung jeans.

And if that was not bad enough, hiked up on her right hip, three inches above the top of her low slung jeans, was the black strap of her black bikini underwear.

Seriously, HIKED UP on top of her hip, leaving an inch from her Go Daddy top and 3 inches of flesh from her low slung too tight jeans.

There was nothing small about her.

I was seeing the butt of her panties up on her hip.

It was a train wreck.

My first thought was, "Am I in Walmart?"

My second thought was, "I need a picture of this train wreck to share with my readers."

My third thought was I'd get murdered... in the aisle, so you were spared.

Dang.


Posted by Boudicca at April 1, 2010 10:01 PM
Comments

bou, off topic, did you see this story of a doctor turning away obama voters?
http://www.wesh.com/news/23033291/detail.html

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at April 2, 2010 08:09 AM

... you know, there really is a reason that they call them Wal-Martians.....

.... nothing surprises me when I go to Wal-Mart...

Posted by: Eric at April 2, 2010 08:12 AM

Some of the older phones can be set to take a photo

WITHOUT any sound.

Posted by: Sine Nomine at April 2, 2010 08:21 AM

I just had to check out that Walmart website after you posted about it. Oh, the humanity!

I too thought there was a setting on camera phones which would make them silent, at least on the older ones.

Posted by: diamond dave at April 2, 2010 08:34 AM

LOL - OMG I can see it now (I think I need eye bleach even without a picture). And because I would have loved that picture and I know you have a blackberry - I went looking on the Crackberry forum and found the following info:

"As you've learned, there is no way to turn off the shutter sound. You can, however, take a picture during a call and avoid the sound. If you make a call to say, your voicemail, then push the camera button, your phone will ask if you want to continue the call and go to the camera screen. If you select "yes", you will be able to take pictures without the sound. "

So give it a try at home and see if it works. Then next time you can regale us with the horror of it all. *grin*

Posted by: Teresa at April 2, 2010 09:34 AM

Leave West Palm for a couple of days and you forget it like a Walmart except with BMWs instead of F150s.

Posted by: recondo32 at April 2, 2010 10:15 AM

Teresa- I have a FLASH too! I think I have the only cell phone that sounds like a camera and has a daggum flash. I need to look into this more.

Seriously, it is burned into my brain and it's something that I need to burn into everyone else's too...

Posted by: bou at April 2, 2010 03:25 PM

The sad part is that she thinks she looks hot and sexy. I swear some people don't own a mirror.

Sidenote: I thought about you today. We were at the zoo walking up to the lion exhibit when they started giving "piggy back rides". There were a couple of young mothers quickly ushering their young children away from the exhibit. It was hilarious watching her trying to keep the little ones from watching and asking questions. BTW, how's that talk going with Bones?

Posted by: Sticks at April 2, 2010 03:50 PM

Here you go... how to turn off the flash:

http://www.ehow.com/how_6178373_turn-off-blackberry-curve-camera.html

Posted by: Teresa at April 2, 2010 03:53 PM

Got sidetracked... I have an LG Env3 - it has a flash (which I turned off) and it has a shutter sound too. I have no idea if the BB tip for shutter sound will work with my phone. LOL. I might try it though.

Posted by: Teresa at April 2, 2010 04:59 PM

You can turn off the flash and sound. What phone do you have?

Posted by: Sissy at April 2, 2010 05:54 PM

um... you can just cough at the same time you push the button, and besides those folks are usually so caught up in themselves they would never know you took the shot....That is if the flash is off....

By the way, what is a Sans Bra? Cause I looked for one at Victoria's Secret online and I guess it is a Walmart only item...?

Are they hawt?

PT

Posted by: P'cola Titan at April 2, 2010 10:56 PM

2 possibilities:
Tell her you're a photographer for People Magazine and you're looking for Britney look alikes or;

Stop by the snacks aisle, grab some bags of fritos and BBQ chips, go back, take the picture and if she runs after you divert her by tossing the snacks to the ground as you make your getaway.

Posted by: Curtis at April 2, 2010 11:51 PM

PT- There was nothing hawt about her braless boobs hanging down to her knees! NO! Blech. I think it very well may be the Walmart special... just having made its way to Publix. Eww.

Sissy- Wait. You're asking ME what kind of phone I have? It's red. Does that help? It's a blackberry that was on sale in October. It's not the latest and greatest... I need to look.

Teresa- My sil's agreed that if I had taken that chick's picture, I'd have been murdered, right there in aisle four. You're going to get me killed. And... I may be OK with this.... I need to work on making it quiet and not flashy.

I was so disturbed by what I saw, I kept looking for people I knew in the aisles as I shopped so I could extrovert all over them about it and try to get it out of my head. Or share the pain. Or both.

Sticks- OK, that's dang funny. Shoot. Something happened the other day. We were in public and he asked a question that was kind of horrifying. Dang... we were shopping for a birthday card. He asked me, I told him the answer matter of fact, and when he left the woman next to me busted out laughing. I shook my head and said, "Priceless moments, aren't they? One day this floor is going to swallow me up..." And I cannot frickin' remember what he asked... I absolutely wanted to die.

Posted by: Bou at April 2, 2010 11:55 PM

Curtis- Oh! The distraction by food method! It might work! My gf, VW, told me "Pretend like your talking on your phone!" I could throw food and talk on the phone... while beating feet out of there. She looked like she could run fast, yell loud, and punch hard.

Posted by: bou at April 2, 2010 11:57 PM

Sticks: FUNNY. I wish I'd seen it. I volunteer at the local zoo and we've had moms ask us to somehow stop critters from having sex in public for fear it'll somehow bend the minds of their kids. If it comes up, I just say they're "playing hopscotch."

Posted by: George P at April 5, 2010 09:19 AM