April 21, 2010

Bathing In Fire

I was essentially bathed in fire today. It has started. And if you had any idea exactly what I am working on... you'd know how true it is, this being bathed in fire.

It's not that the work is difficult or that anyone is being rude or nasty. It's that... there is so much of it.

I left work last night at 9:30 after an hour telecon with an air base. I ended the telecon with my forehead on my desk, listening to what they needed, trying to figure out how to fix it, and feeling completely brain drained. My brain actually felt... empty.

I came home, showered, and crashed.

Today was different. The last hour of work, I'd had calls from two air bases, a call from Company X, and my to-do list had gone from one task to five, with each task being so ginormous, I'm struggling to wrap my mind around how few hours there are in a day.

It's all good.

I can only do what I can do.

But I have come to a solid conclusion today: I have to rejoin a gym so I can get a full hour of run on an elliptical and start lifting again.

Whereas last night I left with brain drain, today I left with anxiety, and not anxiety over fear of failing... because I won't... fail... but because of how much there is out there that needs to be done.

And the anxiety is not quelled. I've been unable to turn my brain off since I left work. I'm jumping from task to task mentally, strategizing, composing email, making mental phone calls.

If I work out, that will go away. I need something to work off the anxious energy that can't normally be worked through until I get to work the next day and make progress.

It's good. I think I'm in the first five circles of Hell. The key is to keep me from slipping any further...

Posted by Boudicca at April 21, 2010 09:37 PM


Posted by: Mike D. at April 21, 2010 11:15 PM

Don't shortchange yourself on sleep!!! I know - easier said than done!

Posted by: PeggyU at April 22, 2010 01:47 AM

Yay on the workouts - it will be exactly what you need! You go girl!

Posted by: Teresa at April 22, 2010 11:58 AM

Ironic, because I am facing similar issues and my thought was "I need to work this out mentally, in a gym..."

Thanks for the kick in the pants....


Posted by: P'cola Titan at April 22, 2010 11:19 PM

Please don't overdo it. I've been there. It sucks. And did you ever notice that work gets done by people willing to do it? If you want something done, ask a busy person.

Posted by: Denny at April 27, 2010 04:42 PM