April 25, 2010

If All Else Fails, I Could be a Caterer to the Less Picky Set... Teenage Boys

I found out last week that my eldest has been selling his lunch at school, when he doesn't want it, for three bucks.

That's a full on sub sandwich.

Actually, the conversation went like this, and it was between Ringo, his buddy Paul, and me. I was taking them somewhere...

Paul: So did you figure out who stole your sandwich?

Ringo: No... I'll never figure it out.

Me: What? Someone STOLE your sandwich?

Paul *said in a tone as if he is reminiscing something wonderful in his past, a yearning*: Well, yeah, I mean, Ringo has the best sandwiches of everyone. He has a full white hoagie roll, lettuce, mayo, sliced turkey and sometimes even bacon.

Me: *I* KNOW what's on them... I make them every morning.

Paul: Dang, they're the best.

Me: Someone STOLE your sandwich?

Ringo: Yeah, well, I didn't completely lock my lock. I didn't want to have to spin my combination, so I just put the lock together. When it came time to go to lunch, I went to my locker and someone had opened it, took out my lunchbox, stole my sandwich, and left my lunchbox on a side table.

Me: Are you KIDDING? Well, that'll teach you not to lock your lock.

Ringo, shaking his head: You can't trust anyone anymore when they lift your sandwich.

Paul: Not just any sandwich. That one was YOURS. So, do you think it could've been Nick?

Ringo: Nah, Nick doesn't have my homeroom teacher for Math so he couldn't have gotten near my locker.

Me: WHY would NICK steal your sandwich.

Ringo: Oh, because when I don't like it, I sell it to him for three bucks.

Me: WHAT? Why wouldn't you like your sandwich?

Ringo: Well, if I think the bread is probably just one day too old, or the lettuce is the end of the week, I sell it to Nick for three bucks and then I go get something in the lunch line.

(Sidenote: My kids don't buy lunch. It's too expensive.)

Me: Ringo, that's terrible.

Ringo: He doesn't think so. He loves my sandwiches. He doesn't have to buy and he hates the cafeteria food.

Me: Yeah, but he thinks I make you stale sandwiches with old lettuce!

Ringo: Mom, please, it's never THAT stale and the lettuce is never THAT old. Besides, he doesn't know any different. He thinks that's what I always get...

Nice. I think I've started some sort of side business for sub sandwiches. Old subsandwiches at that...

Posted by Boudicca at April 25, 2010 05:32 PM

My friend's son went to a pricey parochial school. He would use his lunch money to buy a pizza, bring it to school and sell by the slice, making a nice profit....did it for months before she caught on.

Posted by: Trudy at April 26, 2010 06:22 AM

Total winner of surreal family life award for excellence. I wish I could compete.

Posted by: Curtis at April 26, 2010 04:16 PM