May 02, 2010

Around Town and Embracing Happy

I went to work today to get things off my mind. You know you need to go to work, when you awaken at 430AM and you're writing code in your head, when you're actually solving a problem in your sleep. And my brain was spot on.

I went into the office in the early afternoon, applied what I dreamed and came home. (For security reasons, I cannot work from home... or I'd been on the computer coding.)

I was selected to drive us all down to Lauderdale tonight for dinner as my husband had work to do on his laptop, a lecture he's finishing. It's not a problem, hell, I put 300 miles on my car last week in ONE DAY, driving down to Lauderdale is a non-event.

So with Pop sitting next to me, the kids, my husband and Pop's buddy in the back, we made our way down there.

Pop informed me quietly that he prefers it when I drive. He thinks I'm a better driver. I felt smug.

Watch me get in an accident now. Karmic retribution...

This school year needs to be over. Bones' teachers are sick of him and don't want to deal with him anymore.

In the last two years, he has had four teachers, and three of the four teachers felt the following way:

First 6 weeks: Oh! I love your kid! He has so much energy and he comes up with the funniest things! He's an absolute riot and a real treat to teach.

By November: Your son is a great kid. He really is. He comes up with the funniest things... we're doing OK. He's a good kid.

By December: Things are tense. They are ready for Christmas.

By March: Eye contact is hardly made. They don't want to admit they are secretly starting to hate my child.

By April: It's full blown. They can't stand him. They don't want him in there. Nothing he says is funny. They don't care if he passes or fails.

By June 1: They are pushing him out the door.

His first grade teacher was not like this. By the end of the school year she was still smiling and loved him and said she thought great things would happen.

His second grade teacher said she loved his energy and enthusiasm and to this day when she sees him, she's all smiles and excitement.

His third grade teacher adored him the entire year. She said he wore her out at times, but she absolutely loved him.

Fourth grade was divided into two teachers, one useless piece of junk that should be fired and one great teacher. The great teacher still sees me in the hall and asks enthusiastically how he's doing. She helped me through the year and was genuinely nervous for him for fifth grade.

His fifth grade teachers can't stand him. We are full on into no eye contact with me, blame him for everything, talk about him in front of other students so we hear what they think (exceedingly unprofessional), he catches them conversing together, staring at him in disapproval. Again... it has been a miserable year.

And so I have great hope that at his next school, where he has a teacher for every subject and nobody has him more than an hour a day, or if on block scheduling... every other day, that they won't get sick of him and will be able to help him and still like him at the end of the year.

I'm not stupid. I know he's a lot of work. I don't think my son is a saint.

But neither do I happen to think these three teachers are good teachers either.

I have hope for next year...


If you have to put a bumper sticker on your car that says, 'I love my wife' you are either 1) a Newlywed or 2) trying to convince yourself you do because you secretly loathe her with a purple passion.


And I will end tonight's post on my new phrase, "Embrace Your Happy".

Yesterday a columnist in our local paper wrote a column that started out with Sandra Bullock and the horror show of her personal life, but what it really was about was how we map out what is going to make us happy, we chart that course, but ... we have no control.

Sometimes things go sideways. And we find ourselves places we NEVER expected ourselves to be.

Yet, we are so happy.

Allow me to quote Ms. Streeter, for I found this to be profound:

"You just have to embrace the happy you’re given, thank God for it, and keep moving."

I emailed her and told her I thought it was one of my favorite articles ever. It hit a deep chord with me.

Go HERE to read her entire article. That girl has an awful lot going on upstairs... and I think she unlocked a VERY important key to life.


Posted by Boudicca at May 2, 2010 09:29 PM

I think we should be paid for work done while we're trying to sleep.

And I would think the schools have figured out by now that Bones is not a kid that fits neatly into any one category and needs to be put into a classroom environment with a teacher that can work with him the way he needs to be worked with. Fifth grade and they're still trying to lump him in with the rest of the cattle? Disgraceful.

I too have seen the "I love my wife" stickers and wonder what message they're trying to convey.

And I too believe we should embrace the joy wherever we find it, expected or unexpected. That's what keeps us all going.

Posted by: diamond dave at May 2, 2010 10:10 PM

My husband just came in and I read him the I love my wife sticker piece. He smirked and said "Option 3 - his wife stuck it there and he's so henpecked he's too scared to take it off"!! LOL

Posted by: Shaz at May 2, 2010 10:37 PM

Your timeline with the teachers looks suspiciously familiar to me. I hope next year with a new school, all things work out very very well.

The bumper sticker creeps me out. Ick!

And I have always tried to "embrace my happy" through the bad times. There have been many bad times, but damn if I'll let the bad crap win. Heh.

Posted by: Teresa at May 2, 2010 10:57 PM

I had never seen one of these bumper stickers until yesterday. I thought it was just this one guy! I like Shaz's husbands thought! That's dang funny.

But now that y'all have said you've seen them too, I did some research. I figure it had gone more viral than just me seeing it on the back of a truck. I guess it's a part of Promise Keepers. Kinda cool... but just so everyone knows, I'm not putting an "I love my husband" sticker on my car. Just... can't.

The only bumper sticker I've ever had on a car was in 1990 when my little car was stolen. When it was recovered, the theives had put a gash on the back bumper. I covered it with a Fly Navy sticker.

Dave- I'll be darned if everyone isn't determined that Bones WILL be a round peg to fit in that round hole. THEY WILL FORCE IT! Pisses me off...

And allow me to reiterate... Bones is no Saint. Bones is not the sweet quiet child that sits there and colors, talking hearts and rainbows to all his bestest sweet and quiet friends. He's a boy, a hugely extroverted boy, who has NO filter. Everything in his brain comes out his mouth.

We're working on it.

But I want to scream, WHO IS THE ADULT HERE?! Why does the 10 year old boy have to consistently be the adult? Why?

I've been having to work extra hard lately to embrace my happy. ;-)

Posted by: Bou at May 3, 2010 08:14 AM

That saying is very similar to what I was using for the last several months, when our organization was forced to move from Northern Virginia into downtown DC:

Embrace the Suck.

Posted by: Ted at May 3, 2010 09:39 AM

Actually now that I think about it, "embrace the happy" used to be taught to children as "count your blessings". My parents grew up during the Great Depression. It was a very rough time - they could run rings around today's recycling preachers. (how many people remember seeing their mother wash and dry aluminum foil and store it neatly away to be used next time? among other economies) They didn't care so much about saving the planet as they did about saving money in order to put food on the table. Anything thrown away was a waste of money to them.

Anyhow, my parents loved the Ray Conniff singers and so I finally remembered what was niggling at the back of my tired brain last night when I read the article. LOL. This song medly from a very old Christmas album... (sorry had to put a space in the middle of the "you tube" bit of the url because of comment police - I'll email Pixy about that..)

I think that about covers it. ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at May 3, 2010 10:29 AM

I have a bumper sticker that says, "I love your wife."

Posted by: Toluca Nole at May 4, 2010 02:21 PM

I hear ya....nothing worse than knowing this....

Posted by: awtm at May 5, 2010 10:59 PM

"Embrace the happy you are given..." OMG that is profound for me. Needed that tonight. Thanks Bou for pointing the article out...

Posted by: Richmond at May 6, 2010 01:06 AM