May 08, 2010

Jose Can You See?

Kind of wondering if I'm going to have any readers left as the crickets continue to chirp on this site.

I've been in what I've been calling, "12th Circle of Hell" and am transitioning into an entirely different hell on Monday, one that I hope will be far less stressful. As I said to my Tech Lead the other day, "I don't think I'm supposed to know where certain major arteries in my heart are located..." Believe it or not '12th Circle of Hell' was not supposed to exist... it's an old project gone very bad with someone else at the helm, one that got thrown back to me and I've been struggling to fix. As my counterpart at Company X said (she inherited the problem and came to me to help fix it), "This has gone sideways, diagonal, in circles, zig zag..."

I said, "Well, bonus for us, I think we've been able keep it within the same plane..."

Come tomorrow she and I should hopefully have emerged somewhat unscathed. Time will tell... I think in the end I came out OK, but during it took some serious hits that could have been pretty career limiting. We shall see...

It's made me realize that I can't do this job full time and have a family. I can't be a full time Mom and a full time employee with this particular project. There is too much stress within my own family, constant pressures in raising children, that doesn't allow for me the down time required to stay sane.

I can only deal with one part of my life going to hell at a time. Something has to give. Fortunately, I'll be coming up for air at work soon.

With that... a Bones' Story:

It is May. School has been in session for how long? 7.5 months? Yes? And I JUST heard this story last week.

It would appear that Bones hates his real name. This is new to me too, even more shocking as he's had this name for close to 11 years, and including preschool, eight years while able to speak.

And I'm just finding out he hates his name.

Why? Because one syllable of his name rhymes with 'gay' and some of the boys at school have taken to changing his name so it has the 'offensive to all fifth grade boys' word in it. According to him, no one in the world has quite the awful plight he has with his name.

You'd think I'd named him Sue, with the way he carries on.


And the discussion of one of the nastier boys in his class taunting him with his 'new nickname' came up in the asexual mom-mobile the other day as we were running errands.

Bones: Mom, I HATE my name. I HATE it.

Me: It's no big deal. This is what kids do. It'll pass and besides, you have a great name.

Bones: No. I don't. Carl keeps calling me gay***. I hate it.

Me: How long has this been going on?

Bones: It started last year.

Me: And I'm just now hearing about it?

Bones, all indignant with attitude: I hate it so much, that when school started I told them that my name was really Jose.

Me: *blink*

Sidenote: Allow me to recap what Bones looks like. He has blonde floppy hair, bright blue eyes, and white skin, so white I call him Casper at times, rosy cheeks, and looks like he stepped off the Emerald Isle.
For you visual learners:

Mr. T, looking up from reading: It's true. I couldn't believe it.

Me: Did they believe you? You told them your name was JOSE?

Bones: Sure. They called me Jose.

Me: *blink*

Mr. T: It was the dumbest thing I have ever witnessed.

Bones: Yeah, they called me Jose UNTIL MR. T TOLD THEM IT WASN'T TRUE!!!

Me: Bones, you've known these kids since you were in KINDERGARDEN and suddenly your name is really Jose?

Mr. T, completely spooled up and animated: I KNOW! Are they the dumbest group of kids ever? What a bunch of pinheads!

Bones: But it worked!

Me: Bones...

Mr. T: And... AND...AND!... LOOK AT HIM! HE doesn't even LOOK Mexican and all those stupid kids BELIEVED HIM!

Me: Bones. I can't believe this... you convinced them your name was Jose?

Bones: It was working...

Mr.T: Only because they're so dang stupid...

So, we will see what happens at this new school. I could very well show up to school one day to pick him up only to find a bunch of kids yelling, "See ya, Jose!!!!"

Because... you know... Mr. T won't be there to correct them...

Posted by Boudicca at May 8, 2010 08:22 PM

You need to save these stories up. They'd make a fine book.

One day, Bones will appreciate his name. It's a bit unusual, but to me that's a good thing... befitting an unusual young man. And the arse-hole schoolmates of his will grow out of it... perhaps when he pounds one of them in the face.

Posted by: Elisson at May 8, 2010 09:45 PM

This kid 'Carl' is known to come from a mean family. Odd isn't it, how people just are known to be mean people? Big huge family and the whole lot of them, sisters brothers from a couple generations are known to be just mean.

It's a good name for him. I think it means something like squawking jaybird or something. I remember when I looked it up I thought, "Whoda thunk he'd live into this name?!"

Meanwhile, lets see if he is able to convince any of these new kids his name is Jose. Mr. T said to him, "You couldn't pick a name like MICHAEL? I mean, please. YOU can pass off as a Michael, but NOTHING about you looks like a Jose!" This conversation has been going on for a few days now...

Posted by: bou at May 8, 2010 09:58 PM

Carl is a nice name...if you're a Nazi. Your boy has a sweet cousin upstairs, her boyfriend's son has the same's a nice name, but I guess I understand where Bones is coming from. I always hated my name, particularly my last name...Sherman. I will never forget, or forgive, my high school history teacher Mr. Sohn who used to call me "Erica Vermin." Freaking dooooooshbag. And then the Eddie Murphy movie came out, "The Nutty Professor," and his name just hadda be "Sherman Clump." Horrible. I am determined to get married one day, for no other reason than to change my last name.

Posted by: Erica at May 8, 2010 11:22 PM

He'll be ok ... until someone figures out a way of making "Jose" sound equally offensive! ;) There's no name so innocuous that some kid can't twist it around.

Posted by: PeggyU at May 9, 2010 02:50 AM

absolutely agree with peggyu. They'll give you a nickname if they can't change your own. I know. ;-)

Posted by: vw bug at May 9, 2010 06:13 AM

Ahhh - the name-calling! Was given a nickname in elementary school. Two in fact . . . amazing what someone can come up with for Nina. Neener Niner Forty Niner has quite the ring to it! Then, with my maiden name of Dodge . . well think of the long-running Dodge Ram Truck commercial. ;-)

My HS friends and I laugh about it and all the other nicknames now and Bones will one day too. although I think he'll laugh even harder at the fact that he had his classmates convinced for a year that he was really named Jose! THAT is priceless!

Posted by: Nina Anderson at May 9, 2010 08:28 AM

Tell "Jose" to get over it, that like Peggy says, there is no foolproof name, and the teasing NEVER ends. I'm 56 and still have to listen to "Georgie porgie..."

Posted by: George P at May 9, 2010 10:21 AM

OMG - Jose???? I'm sitting here just giggling because it's so something he would be able to pull off. The rest of us... no way! Bones... well of course.

I never liked my name when I was young, but the only thing I thought to change it to would be my middle name... which I don't like either. LOL. It never occurred to me to just make something up. I have no creativity in my soul - not an ounce.

Posted by: Teresa at May 9, 2010 12:41 PM

The crickets don't seem to chirp as loud here as they do at my site. At least you're posting regularly.

Poor Bones. Another reminder of why I hated school from 5th grade on, particularly middle school. And they will ALWAYS find something to pick on you about, no matter what your name is or what you look like, unless you're a lot bigger and willing to fight often.

Posted by: diamond dave at May 9, 2010 01:06 PM

Something on names I thought you'd find interesting. I've been watching way too much Today Show while at home recovering.

Posted by: Sissy at May 9, 2010 01:14 PM

The nickname k-nine found me in college. My first name starts with a k, I was a bit of a whore-dog, so canine became k-nine. It was an insult garnered to hurt me with the fairer sex. So, I embraced it and 20 years later on here I be.

Hell, I think bones is an awesome nickname. If he doesn't use it... Well, just a thought.

Posted by: K-nine at May 9, 2010 04:02 PM

You can just imagine my nicknames given what my name is and the fact that I was always one of the tallest guys in the class. Then there was the pop song when I was a kid about Open the Door, Richard. I lived through that one as well. And then there was the pop singer of my yoot, Little Richard. That one went the gamut as well. You would think they would think of King Richard the Lionhearted but that one never seemed to work out. Then there was the evil King Richard. The permutations just went on and on and on. I just had to learn to steel myself and disregard the creeps and their funnies.

My ex-wife and her brother also got stuck but theirs was because of initials. Her initials were JAG and his were LEG. Bad enough his first two names were Lloyd Emil and with a Jr at the end.

Posted by: dick at May 9, 2010 06:53 PM

Your son, Jose, is famous. Wasn't he there when the National Anthem was written by Francis Scott Key? The version which starts with "Jose, did you see..." Just joking, but some people will believe anything they are told.
Imagine a name like Harold, with all those commericials where the stupid goof was called Harold.

Posted by: HH at May 13, 2010 11:22 PM