May 10, 2010

Feeling Plucky?

The equivalent of the Redneck Phrase you don't want to hear, "Hey, y'all watch this!" for Mothers is, "What are you doing tomorrow, Mom?"

Do you lie? Do you seem busy for fear of what you're about to be asked to do? Do you mentally clear your schedule because you know your children are only children once and you will do anything for them... since you know the time is coming where they 1) won't give a crap what you're doing and 2) won't want you to be around them?

And so today as I walked out of the threshold of the house to the back porch to put supper on the table, came the words from Mr. T, "What are you doing tomorrow, Mom?"

I'm working full time now. He knows this.

I stopped mid stride, frozen with what to say next. Do I be there for him or tell him I'm busy?

And so... I did what I swore I'd always do as a Mom first, I said, "I have to go to work, but I can clear my schedule. What do you need?"

To which the reply was..."Great. I need you to come to science class. We're dissecting a Pluck."


My first thought was "WTF is a Pluck?"

My second thought was, "Are you frickin' kidding me? I'm taking off work for dissecting something? Really? Good GOD!"

I smiled sweetly and said, "OH! So your teacher needs assist in the class, does she?"

Picking up his fork getting ready to shovel in food, not missing a beat he said, "Yup! She asked for parent volunteers."

Me: I thought you're doing something with... sheep. What in the hell is a pluck?

Mr. T: Oh, it's lungs, heart and liver...

Me: Lovely.

So, that's my plan for tomorrow. I'll be assisting a bunch of 7th graders in the dissection of sheep parts, and then going to work.

Seriously, I hope they have so many parents I get turned away. I'm not looking forward to this... AT ALL. I work on inanimate objects FOR.A.REASON.

I suspect, however, I will not be so fortunate. I suspect I'll be the only parent feeling Plucky tomorrow.

Stay tuned...

Posted by Boudicca at May 10, 2010 10:24 PM

At least he didn't say "Guess what?" Or worse, "If I tell you something, you won't get mad, will you?"

And he had the courtesy to ask for your presence rather than volunteering you and then telling you. Had a child that had a bad habit of doing that.

Posted by: diamond dave at May 11, 2010 12:07 AM

I remember disecting a frog and putting the back legs on the ends of pencils and making them dance. The boys next to me got sick to the stomach. My lab partner thought it was funny. All in a days work! ;-)

Posted by: vwbug at May 11, 2010 04:44 AM

In my house it was always, "Oh, yeah, I have to bring in ___________ to school tomorrow." This announcement was usually made as I was tucking them into bed and I never had on hand what was needed.

I kinda miss those days now.

Posted by: Sticks at May 11, 2010 05:02 AM

Up here in the Great White North (cf, last weekend ... never a dull moment), we mainly get Pig pluck.

Seems like only yesterday (but it was really 11 years ago), I assisted with my youngest's disection of heart and lungs. 4-5 kids to each adult. Went well. The lungs were really pink. (None of the pigs smoked.)

Gosh, that would make the sheep's eye disection and shark disection (with my eldest) over 15 years ago. Wow.

Posted by: The Thomas at May 11, 2010 09:04 AM

Just try to keep in your mind the thought that you're just preparing some meat prior to cooking it for dinner.

Posted by: Carl Brannen at May 11, 2010 08:05 PM

I'm probably one of the few students in the history of the U.S. to be sent to the principal's office for random flinging of pyloric caecum in 7th grade Science class. It was a frame job... Nothing random about it! I was aiming for my buddy Rob, but pyloric caecum? Aerodynamic it ain't...

(In case you're curious, it's the goop-filled tubes inside of starfish arms!)

Posted by: El Capitan at May 12, 2010 05:14 PM