May 16, 2010

Am I a Rorschah Test?

I think I posted before about how my kids don't think what I do is cool... at all. If I were cool, I'd work on the AC-130, which has huge monster guns.

As I told VW yesterday, with boys the rules go as follows: 1) it's all about the snacks and 2) weapons rule.

And they have to be REAL weapons, not something like, 'OH yeah, well MINE is invisible!" That doesn't cut it.

What I didn't write about was part II, Ringo at Lunch.

It would seem about a week later of the boys riding me relentlessly about how I should work on the AC-130 to be 'really cool', Ringo was at lunch with his two buddies, whom I will call Rick and Nick. Ringo likes Rick, although I've not met him, and I hear he's a good kid from some teachers, and I hear he comes from some SERIOUS cash. I've met Nick, his family is Cuban immigrants, and I really like him a lot.

So the three boys were at lunch, talking about boy stuff when as it was related to me, Rick said, "Yeah, well, we were landing the other day and we saw some F15s in a diamond formation." He looked at Ringo and said, "You probably don't even know what those are."

Ringo, being Ringo, deadpanned, "Sure I do. My Mom works on the F22." And according to him, there was a silence at the table, the quick stoppage of all masticating and talking, until one of them finally swallowed and said, "YOUR MOM?" to which he continued to deadpan, "Sure. She works on the back end... you know where the fire comes out?" and then proceeded to take a bite of his sandwich as if he was talking about sweeping the floor.

Delivery of information always has great influence on how it is perceived, and according to Ringo, the boys could not get enough information at that point, or rather Rick could not, as Nick had actually met me, Nick's only reply being, "Dude, that's the most legit thing I've ever heard..."

Legit, I guess, is a good thing.

So that's been the joke as of late, how it took a couple teenage boys to make me 'legit' in the eyes of my eldest, who has now taken on this ENORMOUS fascination of all I've done with my career, every aircraft I've ever worked, every base I've ever set food upon, etc, etc. It's been kind of funny.

Rick, however, isn't letting this go.

On Friday night, I picked up Ringo and his buddy, Paul, from the movies. They'd gone with a group of friends. They got in the car and the following conversation transpired:

Ringo: You're picking us up from the beach tomorrow, right?

Me: Yup. What time?

Ringo, sheepishly: 5?

Me: 5? Good Grief. Really? Can we not make it 4:30?

Ringo: Well... ummm... can we do 5? Because... well... Rick thinks he's coming and I told him you'd pick us up at 5. He wants to meet you.

Me: *blink*

Paul: No kidding. I heard the entire conversation. Dude, what is up with that?

Ringo: I dunno. It's what she does for a living. He's all like, "Is she really working on the nozzle? I want to meet her."

Paul: Yeah. Crazy stuff.

Ringo: I mean, it's not like she FLIES it or anything. Geez.

Me: Wait! I'm still here! I'm listening to this!

Ringo and Paul: Oh. Yeah. Sorry.

Rick ended up not going to the beach. I did call my sister and related the story. Having spent 6 hours at an Eagle Scout project with Mr. T, in the hot FL sun creating an amazing garden for a local elementary school, I was pretty beat. (Ringo spent the first 4 hours with us, before escaping with his buddies.)

Said I, "I guess I need to shower and get cleaned up before I pick Ringo up from the beach. I hate for his buddy to think all female engineer types look like frumpy greaseballs..."

Watch me meet Rick one afternoon after work, when I've run my hand through my hair 1000 times, making it so stringy I'm forced to tie it in a knot away from my face, when I've rubbed my eyes so much from stress and tiredness that there is not a stitch of make up left from nose level up, and I've chewed off all the lipstick, leaving only teeth marks on my lower lip as I tend to think while biting on my lower lip.

THAT will be the REAL perspective...


Said Mo, upon hearing how Rick will PROBABLY meet me, "Ahhh, yes, nothing like putting one's best foot forward for brains and beauty combined..."

In all honesty, I have NO CLUE what this kid is expecting, but I strongly suspect it's not what he's getting. I don't know if he's expecting some kind of absent minded professor sort or what, but me thinks someone is going to be sorely disappointed when he meets a slightly dissheveled, 44 year old, Mom person.

Just a bit...

Posted by Boudicca at May 16, 2010 11:19 AM

Mo's correct. Brains and beauty combined.

Posted by: Denny at May 16, 2010 09:38 PM

Shoot, not in my mirror. Dang, there are some big dark circles; this latest project is taking it's toll.

Posted by: Bou at May 16, 2010 10:01 PM

I overheard my daughter telling her friend once that I was "wicked smart". Now, we're from Michigan....I don't know why the work wicked was used...but it felt good nonetheless.

Posted by: Trudy at May 17, 2010 05:44 AM

Bou you know this kid is going to think your the bomb, because he will be comparing you to his mom and depending on what his mom does/has done it won't be anywhere near what you do.

So I'd go with him having a kid crush on you.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at May 17, 2010 09:00 AM

Too funny! It reminds me of how the kids describe my military service. "Yeah, my mom was a space cadet." No Lie. That's how they describe my assignment at NORAD in the space surveillance/missile warning center. At least you get to be beauty AND brains! :o)

Posted by: Lemon Stand at May 17, 2010 12:47 PM

The handwritten Mother's Day card I received told me I was the best mom ever because I'm a good cooker and I say I love you, but after giving hugs and kisses and thank-yous, my middle child explained that I was indeed the SECOND coolest mother ever. The second. Guess who's the first coolest mother ever? Mrs. You, mainly because of your incredibly cool job. But also because you look kind of like a fairy princess (his words) and because you totally GOT Lord of the Rings and presumably didn't look away when scythes made contact with necks, like his not-quite-as-cool mother. And this he remembers from preschool, what, 8 years ago? Regretfully, I so agree with the child. You are the coolest.

Posted by: Leigh at May 17, 2010 12:52 PM

Leigh, I am laughing so hard, I can't quit. Holy crap... May God Bless that boy of yours from here until eternity. A fairy princess.

He's so dang sweet. I'm hoping my sister reads this. She's doing a *blink* 'My sister?' Heh!

I didn't flinch at the scythe, HOWEVER, upon an opening scene of LOTR II, a head on the pike, I looked at my husband steely eyed and said, "THIS is NOT age appropriate. Got it?!" as I could see him sitting on the big bed with the boys and a bowl of chips watching this upon video release... Bones being what? 5? Gah!

As for boy crushes... I'm thinking probably not. (I'm still loving the fairy princess...) Paul was so not getting what was up with Rick. None of his buddies have kid crushes on me (THANK GOD). I think it is the novelty of it all... I definitely don't fit the traditional woman thing. Never have really...

Except, dang, I'm really loving the fairy princess! No joke, that may be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said about me. I'm not kidding...

Posted by: Bou at May 17, 2010 09:54 PM

I'm thinking that unless you rock a boost-em-up, false eyelashes and a pocket protector, you're never entirely going to live up to his fantasies. Fortunately, you work on stuff that breaks sound barriers and carries awesome weaponry. That should at least give you decent street cred. (*Giggle*)

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at May 18, 2010 01:19 AM