May 25, 2010

Books, Forts, And More of THE Talk

With final exams and the end of school and ... it's just crazy here.

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I've started the book, The Time Traveler's Wife, recommended to me last year. It's a very odd premise, but I like it.

I'm not sure what it is I like most and No, I've not seen the movie. But there is something... kind of sweet about it. I'm still trying to figure out why I like it so much...

And it's not the type of book I typically read. I'm usually all about Mitch Rapp and his ilk.

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My work place is hiring. We're over run with work right now, we're all exhausted and we're being pulled in fifty ten different directions. What we do is somewhat specialized, there aren't a lot of folks who do it. And it's something we can teach people to do, but it would be nice if we didn't have to, because quite frankly, who in the hell has the time? (Some of it is not teachable... either you have the skill, or you don't.)

Anyway, my boss finally put something out on Monster to see what we might receive.

We are getting a lot of apps from NASA and it's making me very sad. I'm pushing pretty hard for one of the NASA guys whose resume I liked. However, here is some odd stuff we've seen:

1) Putting your salary at $80,000-$1,000,000 gets your app thrown in the garbage. Perhaps it was a typo? Don't know... but a cool mill? Really? (Not from NASA.)

2) It's cool that you speak multiple languages, very cool that you speak some Eastern Block languages and that you are probably a native. Makes us wonder however how smart that is... considering what we do. Perhaps leaving that little tidbit off is not a bad thing when applying for jobs in our sector. You can spring that on us during the interview... sell yourself first and then we can talk about your linguistic capability and cultural past. (This person was NOT from NASA.)

3) Asking for big money is going to make us laugh. We do government work. If you want $75/hour, you don't want to work with us. Hell, we don't bill out the government for that much money. Good Grief. (Not from NASA)

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I bought a blueberry green tea and I'm not sure what I was thinking. Every time I drink it, I'm afraid my teeth have turned blue, like drinking a blueberry slushy.

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My two younger boys have not slept in their beds in two days. My husband flipped the couch on its front to wash the floor on Sunday and all the towels, blankets, and sheets came out... instant fort.

They've been sleeping in their fort, complete with small fan.

I hear the first night sucked. The second night, they made mods to make it more spacious, more comfortable, and warmer.

I'll take pix... I think they want to make it permanent. I think I'd like my couch back.

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And for those who stuck around this long... a sex talk post.

At dinner tonight, the three boys and me, Bones asks me what jizz is. (I know, take a breath, I actually KNEW what he was talking about.)

He blurted it out, Mr. T started to laugh, and Ringo sat there staring him down speechless.

I replied, "OK, I'm going to explain all this to you, but you need to know, that right about now, your older brother is dying 100 deaths."

He mumbled, "yes..."

And so, without going into too much detail on this blog, it would appear that they thought it was crap, although Bones had heard from a friend it was something different and he wanted clarification.

Mr. T insisted it was crap.

And so you can imagine both their surprise when I explained scientifically what it was.

Ringo was quiet, concentrating on a piece of bread, perhaps hoping he could get it to levitate.

It would seem that... there is a video called Jizz in my Pants and I'm not about to link that here. All the kids in middle school have watched it and based on the faces that the guys make in the video, surely 'they must be crapping in their pants' according to Mr. T.

No kidding.

Don't think for a minute I'm not aghast at this entire thing. At some point, Ringo was able to become invisible. Actually, I quietly asked him to go next door to run an errand as I knew the conversation was going to get even more uncomfortable for him.

After he'd left and the boys and I had had some serious talks, Bones said, "Mom. How you can you talk about this like it's no big deal? I mean, you just say it, you're not even embarrassed."

Mr T replied, "Phht. Because she's MOM!"

You will note, that NONE of these conversations take place with my husband around.

EVER.

As a matter of fact, Mr. T said, "I remember when we had THE talk, Mom. You were ironing..."

Great. Memories.

But as horrified as I am about this line of questioning, on some level, I'm glad it came about. I was able to explain to them what it was so they won't be using this language out and about, flinging the word around. I could tell I'd saved Mr. T... he doesn't cuss or speak dirty like a lot of kids in 7th grade, so I think deep inside he was happy to know so he'd not use that word in the wrong way, "Hey, give me a second, I need to go take a Jizz..."

I so see that could have happened! Blech...

Posted by Boudicca at May 25, 2010 09:57 PM
Comments

Where angels fear to tread. Thanks.
I'd like pictures of the fortress. They sound like excellent young men and boys.

ok, new computer, new router, try again.

Posted by: Curtis at May 25, 2010 11:26 PM

By now you've probably seen the video they are talking about - but I think it's a Saturday Night Live skit with Justin Timberlake yeah? Well handled - and I agree that kind of thing should be dealt with head on. It's good if they know why itís offensive and when not to use it (although your last line did make me spit coffee on my PC screen!!)

I loved Time Travellers Wife too. Took me a while to get into the style but then I adored it. So glad you read it before seeing the movie which I imagine would be hard to follow without a prior emotional connection to the characters.

Working at/for NASA has always been my #1 dream job - the fact I'm Australian and live in Melbourne means the chances of this ever happening are pretty much zero. Loved your take on reviewing resumes though! Have to say after doing a heap of hiring in the past 5 years I am VERY different in job interviews than I used to be! Nothing like seeing the competition to make you feel more secure about your skills! :-)

For the record I LOVE these random posts - feels like we are having a conversation! :-)

Posted by: Shaz at May 26, 2010 02:29 AM

Shoot, Curtis, with three boys, every day is a day angels fear to tread! Their fort is cracking me up.

Shaz- Oh yes, I youtubed the video and... I'm really horrified. I can see where pre-teens would watch this and think it's funny.
I am becoming very attached to the characters and I don't think that can happen in a movie. It was the style that was kicking me though, like you said. After the first chapter I thought, "Can I read this? It's not linear..." Since he's back and forth through time, I had a tough time with it.

I have family that worked for NASA on my Dad's side. This whole thing with NASA is making me so sad. As my Tech Lead said, "The most brilliant minds in America, all about to be relegated to working on lawn mowers in someone's garage."

I was wondering how the random posts were coming across... thank you for the feedback!

Posted by: bou at May 26, 2010 06:00 AM

That last possible inappropriate use comment left me with tears in my eyes from laughing quietly inside.

I can just see it happening in school (and a teacher overhearing it).

No ... I do not want to see it. Not at all.

Posted by: The Thomas at May 26, 2010 08:29 AM

Damn you Bou! I just had to go to Youtube and look. I had to cut it short so it wouldn't become an earworm.

You got some good kids there. When they cringe from embarrassment over such frank matters, you know you've done your job well. With my luck, they would've made it into enthusiastic dinnertime conversation then I would've been the one cringing.

Posted by: diamond dave at May 26, 2010 08:41 AM

I can just imagine seeing something like this on an R-rated version of Art Linkletter's "kids say the darndest things." I don't have, or want, kids, but it's interesting and often funny reading about your dealings with them.

On the resumes: Are they ASKING for those big figures, or telling you that's what they made at their old jobs? When I started my job hunt after my industry imploded, most applications asked what I made at the old place, but didn't leave anywhere for me to note that I realize/expect I'll get paid less at the new job in the new industry.

Posted by: George P at May 26, 2010 09:12 AM

Not having children, by choice, I get to live vicariously through your stories here.
That is a wonderful thing. And, safer ;-)
I really do love reading about your boys.

My generation thought NASA was going to be forever.
Too sad.

Posted by: Jean at May 26, 2010 06:33 PM

I read (and enjoyed) "The Time Traveler's Wife". Didn't see how they could make it into a movie and make it comprehensible because of the complexity of the flow.

The boys' sex talk...cracked me up. But they know they can come to you...that's the most important thing.

Like when my daughter came to me last week asking what a d*ld* was...it's hard to keep a straight face when they're aghast at what they're hearing!

Posted by: Mrs. Who at May 27, 2010 09:58 PM

"working on lawn mowers in someone's garage"...so sad!!!

Posted by: Yabu at May 28, 2010 09:30 AM

Too funny...just had the very same talk with my 11-year-old, who asked questions with one eye squeezed shut, as though seeing only half of me would make the topic less horrifying. It was like discussing the birds and the bees with Popeye. My method is to hand them the book "What's Going on Down There?" and then have a (one-eyed) Q&A afterwards. They particularly enjoy the slang-word portion of the exercise, as they had no idea their mother had such a slush mouth. Does every generation honestly believe they made up all the nasty words themselves?

Posted by: Leigh at May 28, 2010 11:59 AM

I had to come back to tell this...my husband called shortly after I read this post. I asked him if had ever seen the video "Jizz in My Pants"...the connection was bad, so he asked me to repeat it, which I did. There was a pause, and he asked, "Did you say a video about 'Jews in My Pants'?...he couldn't understand why all he heard was me LMAO at him!

Posted by: Mrs. Who at May 28, 2010 04:51 PM

George - Art Linkletter just died this week.

Bou - Are you ready for when they ask what a scumbag is?

Posted by: Denny at May 28, 2010 10:02 PM

Verily, I am amused. By the way, college students do the same thing when discussing reproductive biology with their professor...

Posted by: caltechgirl at May 31, 2010 01:28 AM