June 18, 2010

Looking for that Platinum Spoon

OK, this crap only happens in places like Palm Beach. This JUST happened today... holy crap.

So I was at work, swimming in fire again, when I realized that Sunday is Father's Day. It was a big "Oh Sh**" epiphany. The boys and I really need to do something nice for my husband, alone, without Pop or my husband's brother, just us, because this week... if it's been hellish for me, it's that times 10 for my husband.

It's been bad.

Sitting at my desk, I thought, "Oh! I know! I'll take him to brunch at some place really fancy and nice, some place we would NEVER go on our own, some place we really can't afford, but I know he'll appreciate."

So on the 'net I went, googling Sunday breakfast brunches in Northern Palm Beach County when I thought, "Hmm... I bet The Breakers has a GREAT brunch!"

The Breakers is known for their brunches. Hell, The Breakers is known for EVERYTHING. Sitting on the beach, on Palm Beach, it is a 5 star resort, that is the bees knees. Amazing.

After I got off work, I called The Breakers and this is pretty much what happened:

Me: I'd like to make a reservation for FIVE on Sunday, for Brunch.

Breaker's Woman: Ok, five. Any children?

Me: What age ends for children?

Breaker's Woman: 11

Me: Then I only have one child. Four adults, one child.

Breaker's Woman: We have 1:30 available. I'll need your charge card as there is a $25 non-refundable fee since you're within the 48 hour window, should you cancel.

Me: Wait. I need to call back. This was going to be a surprise, but if it's non-refundable, I need to make sure that he really didn't have any plans and that 1:30 is good.

I hung up, called my husband, had 1:30 cleared, I did spill the beans we were going to brunch, but I didn't tell him where.

I rang up The Breakers again. Bones was with me so he could hear this conversation:

Me: Hi! This is Bou Smith, I'm calling to make a reservation for five, four adults and one child, for Sunday Brunch at the Circle restaurant.

Breaker's Man, who was VERY courteous: Excellent. We have a 1:30.

Me: Great. We'll take that.

Breaker's Man: Ok, then, I'll need your credit card and it's $90 per person plus gratuity and tax...

Me: *quiet gasp*

Breaker's Man:

Me: I'm sorry. Come again?

Breaker's Man: Yes, that is $90 per person plus gratuity and tax.

Me: Oh! Ok, cancel that. I can't pay $90 for a breakfast let alone for kids listed as adults when they really aren't.

Breaker's Man: Oh no, you misunderstood. The Child is ONLY $45. It's only the four adults that are $90 per person.

Me: I really need to thank you for your time. I did hear you. I just have a kid, two actually, included in that count, that are barely over 11 and I can't bring myself to pay TWO HUNDRED dollars on breakfast for them. But... THANK YOU SO MUCH!


Bones screamed in the back, "OH MY GOD! NINETY DOLLARS! PER PERSON! MOM,mom, mom, mom... that was going to be like $400 for all of us to eat breakfast!" (And he thinks that he can't do math. Gold Star for Bones!)

I came home and said to my husband, "Cancel the 1:30 brunch. We were going to go to the Breakers, but they wanted over $500 by the time I added tax and tip and that's tuition for one month for one kid in Catholic school. We can barely afford that... let alone blow it on eggs. We're going to Barbie's. It's a Southern Greasy Spoon in Lake Park."

My husband looked at me wide eyed and said, "Yeah, Barbie's sounds GREAT!"

Holy crap. Can you frickin' imagine? What... do they serve brunch with platinum spoons and gold trimmed plates?

Good Grief.

Barbie's: $20 bucks for the whole family. And we can even put our elbows on the tables.

Posted by Boudicca at June 18, 2010 07:58 PM

They charge what the market will bear for them of course. It's only worth it if you have the cash to spend and you like what they offer.

Personally, not being a breakfast person, I can NOT see spending any money on breakfast or rather just a minimal amount. But I could spend $90 per person on dinner - easily. I wouldn't do it every week, but I would do it for a special occasion.

Posted by: Teresa at June 18, 2010 09:51 PM

It's a madness Bou.

Father's day is kind of a modern myth. I'm one. I think I would treasure most a hug and a kiss from my daughter over anything, oh well, and the card she is going to make for me. That's enough. A backyard BBQ or even a front yard BBQ later on with her friends and family and me in the comfy chair, or, ideally, a hammock where somebody brought over the occasional fresh drink with a umbrella in it - Blue Hawaiin per favor.....ummmmmm. Deep happiness.

zillion $ meals, not so much. As you know very well there is zero monetary value attached

Posted by: Curtis at June 18, 2010 09:52 PM

Teresa- It's Palm Beach. The market bears a lot, evidently. Good Grief. And I thought maybe it wouldn't be so bad since it's the SUMMER and the real money is back up north. This is only their winter home. Or sometimes... one of their many winter homes.

And I LOVE breakfast or a good brunch! It was going to be perfect. The boys would have loved to be all dressed up (they do like fine dining), the food would be outstanding, and my husband would have been happy being surprised. But... I really thought maybe $50 per person. I thought I was going to drop about $250 and choke, but feel like it was something we would NEVER do... but holy crap.

Curtis- The boys will dote on him for the day. I was just hoping for something away from his Dad. We're doing dinner with his Dad. Doing a jail break from rehab and taking him out... and I'm thinking of taking up drinking again. If it wasn't Father's Day, I'd tell my husband to go without me.

Posted by: Bou at June 18, 2010 10:01 PM

Hope you have a great time. I had to hunt down today's Family Circus, their site is several days behind and I found it with a Seattle paper...



Posted by: cin at June 18, 2010 10:20 PM

Some of my absolute favorite restaurants are hole-in-the-wall dives where you can easily get out with paying no more than 20-30 bucks for four people, and walk out stuffed.

Posted by: diamond dave at June 18, 2010 10:26 PM

HOLY SHIT! I am making breakfast burritos here - and then sending Shane off to do something fun with the girls.... I am going to check out of FD this year... Have a plan. :)

Posted by: Richmond at June 19, 2010 12:08 AM

That is a lot to spend for something that's going to ultimately wind up in the crapper. At least that's what my mother-in-law once said ... only more genteel like.

Posted by: PeggyU at June 19, 2010 02:08 AM

I always chuckle when they charged me less for my boys. I guess they've never seen how much a 10 year old boy can eat. Way more than any adult!

But, those prices are ridiculous.

Posted by: Sticks at June 19, 2010 04:26 AM

At places like The Breakers, if ya gotta ask how much it is, ya can't afford it. Yeef!

Posted by: Elisson at June 19, 2010 08:22 AM

I've always known Palm Beach was upscale. Guess my brain has no real handle on 'upscale'. good gawd.
Volusia be da slums.

Posted by: Jean at June 19, 2010 10:40 AM

I don't mind shelling out money for a special occasion - but $90 pp for breakfast...um that shocks even me. I'm sure the view is nice and the food is good but...

The view from my back deck is lovely and I love to cook a big breakfast.

Posted by: Kris, in New England at June 19, 2010 02:56 PM

I'll take the small hole in the wall restaurant any day of the week over an expensive one. Today was my youngest daughters birthday and my own birthday. I got to choose breakfast and she got to choose dinner. Breakfast for 7,

Posted by: Lemon Stand at June 19, 2010 06:26 PM