September 08, 2010

Does It Come with Car Insurance?

*Update- Commenting issues appear to be resolved. The spammer from China named Richard needs to die...*

Me: Hey. It's me...

Lisa, who has four boys: Hey!

Me: Do you have a reptile I can borrow for 30 days? Mr. T has to finish that reptile badge and we either need to borrow one or we have to trek out to the zoo every week for three months or something so he can sketch it... some nonsense like that.

Lisa: Sure! You can have it.

Me: NO! I don't want to KEEP it. I just want to BOR-ROW IT.

Lisa: OK. I'll bring it to tomorrow's Scout meeting.

Me: Umm... what exactly am I borrowing?

Lisa: Oh, a ghecko!

Me: A ghecko? What in the heck does one do with a ghecko?

Lisa: Oh Bou, it's a zero pet. It does absolutely NOTHING. It just sits there.

Me: Outstanding.

Lisa: You just have to go to the pet store once a month and for a buck you buy live crickets...

Me: Wait...

Lisa: Don't worry, I'll give you the cricket cage too.

Me: Cricket cage? It eats live things? In my house? Crickets? How in the hell am I supposed to keep crickets ALIVE?

Lisa: Piece of cake. Just a piece of fruit in the cage, like a sliced grape or piece of canteloupe. The crickets are great then.

Me, visualizing and KNOWING damn well I'm going to end up with crickets ALL OVER MY HOUSE because I live with BONES: Crickets.

Lisa: Seriously, it's not a problem.

Me: I wonder what it's like to be a girl Mom. Really. I mean, they don't have to go around borrowing reptiles, worrying about live crickets in their house.

Lisa: But they have to worry about attitude.

Me: Yeah, but still, I just had this conversation with another boy-Mom friend of mine, with boys, you really have to step out of your box. I mean, my boys will never understand how far out of my box I've had to go for them. I'm borrowing a frickin' GHECKO and buying live crickets to feed it. This is not me...

Lisa: True. Hey, maybe it'll die when you have it... get it off my hands.

Me: NO! It can't die! Not before 30 days. Mr. T needs this badge. Maybe it will die on Day 31...

Lisa: I should be so lucky.

So. Stay tuned. As of 9/9/10, we own a ghecko. For 30 days.

Posted by Boudicca at September 8, 2010 10:58 PM

... live food would certainly make it interesting!...

Posted by: Eric at September 9, 2010 10:16 AM

geckos are super easy to care for.

I feed mine every 2-3 weeks, 12 crickets for $1.00. It's fun to watch her eat. Her
tail twitches right before she pounces on a cricket.

I don't keep my crickets in a separate cricket cage. I have one, but could never
keep the damn things alive. So I just dump them all into Speedo's aquarium and she
can have a buffet!

Geckos are great pets! They live a long time, too. We got ours in 2000.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 9, 2010 10:38 AM

I wonder what it's like to be a girl Mom. Really. I mean, they don't have to go around borrowing reptiles, worrying about live crickets in their house.

Not so fast. Although I miss our daughter, since she is out of state, I don't miss all the critters she brought home!

We would have had an iguana and a conure, if she had been able to afford them. She also had her eye on a chameleon. As it is, we have had rats, mice, guinea pigs, and a plethora of fish.

Never let your kids take a job at a pet store. It is not so much that some of them are creepy ... they all seem to grow on you after a while. It is the maintenance and the cost.

Posted by: PeggyU at September 9, 2010 11:00 AM

I handle a couple of leopard geckos at the zoo. They look neat, but I imagine they'd be pretty boring pets. Most of the time you can't even see them because they like to hide under fake logs or rocks. And I'd have to worry about my cats trying to climb into the enclosure with them.

Posted by: George P at September 9, 2010 12:15 PM

Explain to me again why I let my boys join cub scouts? Gecko, no problem. Crickets. Oh boy... The senior class put 1000s of them in the principal's office as a joke and it took weeks to get rid of them all and the noise. Ugh.

Posted by: vw bug at September 9, 2010 12:37 PM

A GIRL MOM? You'd trade being a BOY Mom for the hormonal house of horrors? Really? I guess the argument could be made that 6 women and one husband might be a little excessive in our case... and at least we can always warn him when it's time to wear the kevlar home... oh, and the ear plugs...

But ANY time you'd like to swap places... I am sooooo there. Geckos and crickets HAS to be a piece of cake... at least for the gecko...

Posted by: Lemon Stand at September 10, 2010 08:44 PM

I'm told that a box of live crickets is a real treat for an indoor cat.

Posted by: Carl Brannen at September 11, 2010 01:19 AM

Crickets also eat bread.

I know this because I was bored at work once and caught one. Didn't have any fancy cricket food, so I just shared my lunch with it.

Lived for 8 months.

Posted by: Harvey at September 11, 2010 09:50 AM