September 26, 2010

Cricket Anyone?

Frickin' Reptile/Amphibian Boy Scout Badge.

Did I tell you I'm not into this? I don't like things in my house that eat other live things. *I* don't eat live things. I buy my vegetables already dead. My meat comes dead, cut, and processed in plastic at the local grocery store. I don't raise my meat and I don't slaughter it.

Someone else gets paid for that. They're called... farmers. I love farmers. They're my favorite people. Without them... I'd starve.

And I try, I really try, to look at the bright side of all of this 'keep a reptile/amphibian for at least a month' gig that we have going on. The bright side being that at least it's not a snake that eats... bunnies, mice, hamsters, or gerbils... small live rodents.

I FLAT OUT Could NOT do that. NO.

So today I found myself going to the Pet place AGAIN, before 12 days was up; 12 days being magic because I buy these frickin' crickets in bulk. Twelve crickets is the package for us. One a day. Like frickin' vitamins.

That means... 12 days. Right?

Except we've not made it 12 dang days yet. Our first batch, my eldest son was sneaking in and feeding the loud ones to the Ghecko while we slept because... he couldn't... sleep. Between four that died, and the midnight Ghecko feedings, I was traipsing with said plastic cricket container at day... six.


I figured we'd be better at this cricket game now. The first four died because someone forgot to put a grape in and they died of dehydration or starvation or something. We can keep the Ghecko alive, but not his food.

This time, I was ALL OVER Mr. T, that keeping the crickets alive was part of this gig.

We bought 12 more crickets... and... we end up with a frickin' CANNIBAL cricket.

WHAT was the frickin' probability of THAT?

Evidently, pretty low, says TGOO, who went on line and told me that crickets are NOT cannibals.

I said, "OH yeah? Well they need me to update their site for them because WE got a cannibal cricket."

He read off a list of what crickets will eat, cricket not being on the cricket menu.

And not only did we end up with the cannibal cricket, I had to hear about it AT DINNER.

Here we were, sitting around the dinner table, when Mr. T starts on his rant about his stupid crickets and how one of them was eating the others because there were cricket legs scattered in the bottom of the plastic box and then one was found disemboweled.

If you can do that to a cricket.

Gutless it was.

Thoroughly grossed out was I. I mean, Really? Do I have to hear about this at all... let alone during dinner?

What are we getting, inbred crickets? Crickets so 'mentally deficient' that they don't realize the INTERNET SAYS they aren't supposed to eat each other?

And if that weren't bad enough, I was on my way home with the crickets today when I took a turn to the left and heard a 'clunk'. It was the plastic cricket keeper having turned onto its side.

Aghast, I opened the door to the asexual mom-mobile, to find the top hatch OPEN. One of the inmates was trying to escape when I slammed the hatch shut, catching its leg. The question remains, Did an inmate escape? Do I have a cricket in my car?


There are 14 more days and Ghecko goes back home.

This could be a long dang 14 days...

**UPDATE- Dammit. Look in the comments and you'll see the conversation between Writersblock and me. HER Ghecko doesn't do the 'Cricket Binge'. Oh... but no, no, no, you think OUR Ghecko would know moderation?


I got off my site and said to T, "Throw those suckers in there. It's got to be better than what we're doing now..."

So with great excitement, Bones watched as T threw them all in there and Bones came back and said, "MOM! That was the WORST IDEA EVER! We only have THREE left!"

Me: Wait. He ate one already. That left us 11. Are you telling me he just ate EIGHT crickets?

And with great flair, Bones demonstrated how Ghecko went BAM! BAM! BAM! and snapped them all up.

I'm frickin' going back to the pet store Tuesday... Dang it. Meanwhile, Mr. T said he thinks we may be good until Wednesday, he doesn't think that Ghecko will be hungry for awhile.

"Mom, I don't know whether the Ghecko was just that hungry or if he was bored. He didn't have anything else to do."

Who knew that Gheckos ate out of boredom. I thought that was just a human trick...

Posted by Boudicca at September 26, 2010 06:14 PM

just dump them all in with the gecko. It'll eat them as it is hungry. One a day? Honestly? I dump in 12 every 2-3 weeks. Very low maintenance.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 26, 2010 07:48 PM

when I used to try to keep crickets alive separate from the geckos, I frequently had cannibal crickets.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 26, 2010 07:48 PM

Dad? Are you reading this? Writersblock had cannibal crickets too... Someone needs to update their frickin' website. The cricket menu needs to contain, 'Cricket'.

I'm going to tell T to dump them all in and see what happens...

Posted by: Bou at September 26, 2010 08:02 PM

So ...

Are you collecting the data on how your Gecko eats?

I want to see the dot-chart and error bars on that data.

How else are they going to EARN that merit badge?

Posted by: The Thomas at September 26, 2010 08:52 PM

OH - MY - GOODNESS! *wipes eyes* In the days before we found out we couldn't have children THAT was exactly how I imagined our future home life! BLESS YOU for sharing! xxx

Posted by: Shaz at September 26, 2010 09:29 PM

Did you get the URL I sent that showed how to make cricket cookies? There REALLY should be a merit badge in THAT. Get several dozen crickets and have T make cookies for the Scout Troop. Surely that should earn him something.

Posted by: Angus of Iona at September 26, 2010 09:40 PM

Dad- I got the URL, but didn't get it to them yet. They were doing last minute homework and I couldn't bring myself to watch. I might vomit.

Shaz- This is pretty much my house, 24/7. Contained chaos and energy. I love it, but I'm tired. They've flat worn me out... in a not so proud parenting moment today, I solved a problem for my eldest for school and in a fit I yelled, "You know what? I'm an enabler! I FIXED a problem for you AGAIN! You don't think things through. Guess what?! I'm going to be DEAD one day and THEN what are you going to do? HUNH? I won't be there to think through your problems. I'll be dead!" I was pissed. He laughed. Nice.

Thomas- I think I"m going to make him do that. It only requires he take care of it, but I think I'm going to have him create some chart on Ghecko's eating pattern...

Posted by: Bou at September 26, 2010 09:46 PM

(I am so glad that is at your house and not mine! I know now just to say "no" to lizards!)

Can't you put the gecko on a harness or something and walk it outside and let it eat what it finds? My daughter's friend used to take her iguana out for walks. How big is this gecko?

Posted by: PeggyU at September 27, 2010 12:52 AM

I love how you always think outside the box Peggy! Me - I would have relegated it to the basement end of story! LOL.

Posted by: Shaz at September 27, 2010 02:31 AM

You wouldn't have the problem of cannibal crickets if you would just get an itty-bitty computer and put it online and put it in the Cricket Compound. Then the crickets would be able to read what they are supposed to eat. Further, it might give the crickets something to do at night so your oldest boy could sleep. The crickets would be up all night looking at cricket porn and forgetting to make that annoying chirping,

Posted by: Peter at September 27, 2010 04:01 AM

Peggy- Funny you should say that. He's smallish, but I said to my Dad, "I can't even just go out into my yard and grab crickets. We don't have any..." I remember when my children were smaller we had TONS of crickets, which means my back porch was filled with tupperware containers with grass, crickets and anything the boys thought crickets would eat. But its been a long time since I've seen any and I don't know why... we haven't changed anything. We're not putting any poison on our yard.

Peter- Hey, we could use that iPad my husband got for free! Just stick it right there so they can educate themselves!

Posted by: Bou at September 27, 2010 06:06 AM

I'd put the cricket container in front of the TV and show nothing but The Great Escape. But, that's just me.

Posted by: Ted at September 27, 2010 10:21 AM

my gecko binges. But there are always several left over that hold her over for the 2 weeks.

I think you're making more out of this than it requires. ::ducks, runs away::

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at September 27, 2010 05:40 PM

When he makes that chart ... be sure he includes the X-bar and p-value so he can determine if the rate changes are statistically significant.

Posted by: The Thomas at September 27, 2010 10:37 PM