October 25, 2010

When Truth is Funnier than Fiction

In 1979, a rival high school we shall call Escumbia High School, let a pig out during our Halftime show for Homecoming... let that pig out just as the Homecoming Queen was being crowned, they did.

The pig ran crazy through the band, quite a scene it did make. The talk of the town it still is... to this day.

Just some of us are better at remembering the details than others.

And so on Friday night, my girlfriend and I were all rowdy and laughing with the folks around us, when our crazy unmedicated ADHD buddy, "Derrick", turns around and says to those of us sitting around him, "OH! I forgot to tell you!!"

It would seem, that in 1993, our other best buddy, "Kevin", showed up at his doorstep and said, 'Derrick, it is time to exact revenge for the pig incident during Homecoming...'.

This would be some... 14 years later?

And so "Kevin" broke out his plans, a schematic of the football field with guard shacks and dogs marked off, entry ways and escape plans. Black was to be worn from head to toe. Ninja would be the plan of the night.

Ninjas with red paint. One of our school colors.

Meanwhile, 'Derrick's' wife, a voice of reason said, "You're married now! You have a baby! I'm not bailing you out of jail!" to which they replied, "We won't get caught!"

Undeterred... and all that.

So it went... the night before Homecoming the two snuck onto the field and painted a BIG red T in the middle of the field. Big. Red. T.

A guard saw them and away they ran as fast as their long Ninja legs would carry them.

We sat listening to this story, laughing our fool heads off, and 'Derrick' finished with, 'And so the next night we went to their Homecoming, and unable to get rid of that big red T, they painted it green. Right smack in the middle of the Woodlawn High School field was a Big GREEN T, since football fields are more of a brown and light grassy green. They had to use green paint to cover it... and it really stood out..."

Laughing, laughing, laughing... until I said, "Wait. Derrick. Did you say Woodlawn? Dude. It was Escumbia that let the pig out..."

Laughing stopped... for a moment... and Derrick said, 'Are you sure?" to which one of our buddy's wives, who went to Escumbia said, "Yup! I was a freshman!" and a guy down the row from us said, "Hell yeah, it was Escumbia, because they carted that pig on the field in a tuba case and left it behind. Our band director had me and Davey give them back their tuba case, so we filled it up with cow manure, sealed it up, and drove it back to their band...dropping it off and running..."

And THAT would be about the time we were hugging all over each other laughing and crying as not only was the cow poop funny in itself, but 'Derrick' and 'Kevin' had exacted revenge on the WRONG high school... 14 years later... and finding out 17 years even... after that.

Good times. You can't make this stuff up...

Posted by Boudicca at October 25, 2010 09:56 PM

LMAO!! Oh dear God, I remember the pig incident...I didn't go to either school, but I did live in the 'big red T' area...and since y'all's school was the 'powerhouse' back then, we LOVED seeing that happen to you. No offense, of course.
And no big 'T's on my yard either. I'm armed.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at October 25, 2010 09:36 PM

There are some things you just don't forget. That topped the time that Woodlawn painted one of our cows blue...

Posted by: Bou at October 25, 2010 09:45 PM

At my school, we were far more sadistic to our own...like the very, umm 'popular' girl who came out one day to find a very, umm, 'personal' device superglued to her car as a hood ornament.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at October 25, 2010 09:53 PM


Posted by: Bou at October 25, 2010 09:58 PM

There are very few times in his life that "Derek" has been rendered speechless, but this had to be one...!!! LOL

Posted by: P'cola Titan at October 25, 2010 10:42 PM

LMAO at the revenge on the wrong school. That's classic. I remember the "pig" incident well. I was hanging out with some of the band members back then and was right there when it happened. Your school did take immediate revenge by runninga pig head up our flag pole. Now, for the rest of the story. Our biology teacher put it in a freezer in his classroom. This was prior to Christmas break. During the holiday break some how the freezer was unplugged or broke or something but the result was that the place stunk to high heavens. It was awful.

I don't recall hearing about the tuba case being returned. I'll have to ask a good friend of mine. He was one of the ones that helped in the caper.

Posted by: Sticks at October 26, 2010 04:40 AM

I knew pig parts had been returned. Didn't realize it was just the head. Man that was one crazy year. Remember the crickets in our own principal's office? Pranks left and right. Still that is frick'n funny they 'T'd the wrong school!

Posted by: vwbug at October 26, 2010 04:46 AM

PT- HIs face was frickin' priceless... I love that guy. He cracks me up. He's Bones all growed up...

Sticks- Oh yeah, the tuba case returner was sitting 3 down from me and NOT ONE of us knew that part of the story. I'm unsure if our bd knew what happened.

I'm doing some research... because perhaps funnier still... our band director ended up being Principal of the school that got the Big Red T. I am trying to find out if he was principal when revenge was sought...

Posted by: bou at October 26, 2010 06:00 AM

Escumbia. Ha! Highly amusing. I wonder if the kids today are engaged enough in their high school experience to wrangle livestock and vandalize each other's schools. Sigh. The good clean slightly illegal fun they're missing.

Posted by: Leigh at October 27, 2010 08:29 PM

I'm pretty sure this is how wars get started.

Posted by: Jerry in Indiana at October 28, 2010 10:00 AM

Oh. My. Sweet. Gawd.


Posted by: Elisson at October 29, 2010 09:38 PM