January 24, 2011

Landing in Gum

With my new diet, I eat every three hours, religiously. It's a very low glycemic, low fat diet and the physical changes I've seen have been remarkable. My IBS is gone, my face has cleared up, and my energy levels are far better, which to know me is to know that's kind of scary because I can be big energy.

But I don't get all sloggy at 3PM anymore, unless its just flat lack of sleep, which is an issue, but I think is mostly hormonal.

When I'm needing to eat before my three hours, but its not a hunger issue, but a stress/bored/need to chew issue, I get a stick of sugar free gum. And allow me to say, I'm getting just about sick of Mint gum.

And Mint gum... it's never a mild mint. No. You bite and it screams MINT! As my boys liked to say when they were young, "Spicey". They would call mint gum 'Spicey gum'.

So in a snit the other day at work, a stress need to eat, I growled from my cube, "SOMEONE NEEDS TO INVENT SUGARFREE CHOCOLATE GUM!" to which a male voice from the corner replied, much more quietly, "They did. It's on the internet. Look it up."

Well I didn't, but for the last few days, I've been looking. No where I've been has sold "Chocolate gum."

And then this weekend, the bane of my existence happened.

Girl Scouts.

With their Thin Mint cookies. Which I love to freeze. And then eat. And I can't have just one... or two... or three...

And they ended up in my house. I bought a box and the boys with their father bought a box.

Now, it hadn't been a great food weekend anyway. While my husband was away on business Friday night, Bones asked me to make my all time favorite dish... cheese fondue.

And my cheese fondue is nothing but gooey, cheesey, winey, goodness. A cup of dry sauterne, 1 and 3/4 pounds of swiss cheese, cognac, spices and... a big damn loaf of french bread.

I knew I was doomed.

There was NO WAY in hell I wasn't going to participate. It becomes... a quality of life issue. I did, however, have a plan and I ate a HUGE salad before, along with some shrimp for protein so I only had 1/4 of what I would normally eat.

But... OMG... it was good.

So now flash forward to the GS cookies and I was just on a bad track to nowhere.

I got to work this morning and the following conversation occurred between my tech lead (the lone male quiet voice in the corner) and one of my best girl friends. All of us are those engineering minded analytical types.

Me: It's frickin' GS season. I had Thin Mints. I put them in the freezer and ate them. Holy crap.

TL: How many did you have?

Me: Ummm...



Me: Six.

GF: *laughing*

TL: Really?

Me: Today.

GF: *laughing* Today?

Me: Yeah.

TL: And?

Me: Umm... maybe I had a couple yesterday...

TL: A couple?

Me: Fine. I had a half a sleeve yesterday and I finished them off today! OK?!

TL and GF broke out laughing.

GF: Well, I think it's fine. I mean, if you're going to pick a sleeve of GS cookies to eat, Thin Mints are for sure the healthiest.

TL: Listen to you being all the best girlfriend any girl could ask for! No way! Rationalizing that Thin Mints might actually be HEALTHY?

GF: *laughing really hard* I didn't say healthy... but hey, we could look and find out.

*take note I'm now a spectator in my falling off the food wagon. It has taken on a life of its own at this point.*

TL: Fine. In the breakroom someone is selling GS cookies. I have to get my lunch. I'll compare.

And with that, he took his healthy lunch to heat up in the microwave and set out to do a caloric, carb, fat comparison of all the cookies in the breakroom.

The answer? I'm completely sworn off Thin Mints. 160 calories for FOUR cookies, 8 grams of fat, 22 carbs.

I ate... 12. In two days. So mulitply all that by THREE. Holy smokes.

I can't ever do that again. Seriously. The thought kind of makes me sick.

He came back telling me I'd have been far better off eating the shortbreads and he was right. Whodathunit with supposedly all that butter?

But Thin Mints did come in second and I flat won't touch some of those other cookies now. I looked up their nutritional value and its... just... none. It's bad. Nearly all the other cookies have the same Thin Mint stats, but for just two.

I'll burn it off, and I know that, but our little analysis today at work really set me off the cookies.

But it made me think about that dang chocolate gum I want.

I was at Target tonight and I found that EXTRA makes a gum called EXTRA Dessert Delights. I bought the chocolate mint chip and the strawberry shortcake.

I called my sister when I had the goods in the car. That's what sisters are for, to catalogue all the weird crap you do... so they can be supportive... or laugh... or maybe say, "DON'T DO IT!"

Mo: Are you going to try it?

Me: Going to? Hell, I bought it!

Mo: I wonder how long the flavor will last...

Me: Give me five and I'll tell you. I'm already testing it.

I felt like Veruca Salt from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate factory. Was I going to swell up and turn green into a large glob of chocolate chip mint?

It was kind of funky when I put it in my mouth. I think that was mental. Chocolate isn't supposed to be chewy. But... it kind of tastes like Thin Mint cookies and the flavor really lasted for over 15 minutes.

I'm sold.

And Oompa Loompas didn't appear to see if they needed to squeeze the chocolate chip mint ice cream out of me.

Bonus for me.

I'll pass on the three course meal with gravy though. That's pushing it...

Posted by Boudicca at January 24, 2011 11:03 PM

I haven't seen any Girl Scouts out and about yet. Thanks for the announcement! I will keep my eyes peeled. I don't think any of their other cookies hold a candle to the Thin Mints.

Posted by: PeggyU at January 25, 2011 03:45 AM

I actually really like the mentos fruity gums too, which is ironic as usually I dislike both mentos and fruity gum. worth a try perhaps?

Posted by: S at January 25, 2011 07:30 AM

I'm a fan of that strawberry shortcake gum.

I loathe mint. Won't even use mint toothpaste.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at January 25, 2011 09:38 AM

The Keylime pie flavor is Awesome! the flavor lasted for me a good hour with that one.

Good job on the change in your diet and I wish I had your will power. You are an inspiration!

Posted by: Shanna at January 25, 2011 09:59 AM

I'm so looking for that gum!

Our granddaughter is selling cookies so of course we are loaded down... erk.

Posted by: pam at January 25, 2011 10:17 AM

The thing to remember about the GS cookies is that it isn't a year round thing. It isn't as if you'd be consuming thin mints every day for the rest of the year. Basically, cheating now and again, say 2 days out of a month, isn't going to impact what you're doing for the rest of the month. So even though you ate 12 in two days, if all you bought was one box, I don't think you have anything to worry about.

Posted by: Andrew Phule at January 25, 2011 12:39 PM

Archie Mcphee's is a crazy store that sells all kinds of wacko things....including bacon flavored gum, among other things. They actually have two pages of weirdly flavored gum, from meatball to cupcake. I don't think any of them are sugar free, but I thought you might get a kick out of all their bizarre flavors:


Posted by: DogsDontPurr at January 25, 2011 03:38 PM

The one great thing about where we live... no girl scouts come to my door. If they don't come to my door, I don't buy the cookies and then I don't eat the cookies. Makes my life so much easier... heh.

OTOH - yes, cookies are completely empty calories, but the pleasure factor must be weighed in. Every once in a while one must have some cookies because they taste good. It's best if you can buy 2 or 3 from a bakery so you don't have them in the house though. ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at January 25, 2011 03:46 PM

Haven't had gum in ages, but I used to love Dentyne, which was supposed to somehow be good for your teeth. But your waistline?

Shanna: I LOVE key lime pie. Now you've done it. I gotta find some of that gum for a test drive.

Posted by: George P at January 25, 2011 06:22 PM

I like the gum "5". I think it's a Wrigley's gum. The Cobalt and Fire are my favs. They have a fruit one, too, but it's just way too sour for me.

Posted by: Tina at January 25, 2011 11:29 PM

As far as gum goes, I'm a fan of big red. though the candy which is my one weakness is Atomic Fireballs.

Posted by: Andrew Phule at January 26, 2011 02:50 AM

Wrigley's Extra gum comes in Mint Chocolate Chip, Key Lime Pie and Strawberry Shortcake flavors. Will that do it for you?

Posted by: Omnibus Driver at January 26, 2011 06:15 PM