May 06, 2011

Teen Angst

I drew the short straw today and made a kind of phone call I knew I might have to make one day, but hoped to God I'd not have to.

I called a parent because their kid is being rumored in many circles to be doing drugs.

I live in a glass house. I've put that here many times. I don't throw rocks and I don't judge. And if I don't have particular feelings for a family or a kid, I'm not making phone calls, unless my child's life is in danger.

But this kid... I love this kid. And the first time I heard it, it was 2 weeks ago, and it was a gossipy Mom and I don't run in her circles and I blew it off as her being just a busy body rumor spreader.

But I did hear his name and my ears perked. I filed it away.

This evening I received a phone call from a Mom wringing her hands. She loves this particular family as I do. My sons love this kid. I heard details, took mental notes and when she said, "I don't know what to do..." I said, "Do nothing. I'm making a phone call. I have one data point already and I'll use you as data point two, while keeping you and yours completely out of it..."

And so I made the call and this woman is a dear friend and held my father in law's hand while he died and she handled it so much better than I would have handled it and she went to her son with the information and he confessed... it was all true.

Which secretly in my heart I was hoping it was not.

And now there will be discussion and intervention and I know the family and they will do a GREAT job getting to the root cause and doing what they can do. Ultimately, it will all be up to him. It's not the big stuff yet, but he was dipping his toe.

I live in a glass house. I hope someone would call me. And I'll be watching how she handles this... so I'll know what to do when the time comes and I'm on the other end of the phone.

Posted by Boudicca at May 6, 2011 07:33 PM
Comments

That's a hard call but you did the right thing at the right time and it might have saved that kid's life.

Hope they can turn him around.

Posted by: pam at May 7, 2011 09:47 AM

You did the right thing. Hopefully they will set the kid straight.
And yes, if it comes to it, I hope you get that call, but I'm hoping you don't need to get that call.

Posted by: bx19 at May 7, 2011 01:15 PM

I echo Pam, you might have saved his life.

Posted by: AC at May 7, 2011 03:20 PM

You know, my biggest issue was that the kid never know it was me, and not for me, so it's not a reflection on my kids. My kids love this boy.

I don't know how this is going to turn out. He could find out and hate me and hate my kids. That will suck. But I'd do nothing different. I sat there as I took in the information and said, 'Would I want someone to tell me?" and the answer was a 'yes'. I would want the phone call. Would I vomit after? Yes. Would I nearly stroke? yes. Would I want to know... yes. You can't help solve a problem if you don't know there is one.

And this kid... dang he's a good kid. I think he just started making some poor choices, probably to settle his soul. And that's what I told his Mom, something in him hurts and he's looking to numb it. We'll see... I think she knows what is ailing him, as I think I do, but I didn't pry, it's not my business.

But she is such a GREAT mother, I'm in awe and as I said, I'll be watching how she handles it.

Posted by: Bou at May 7, 2011 03:53 PM

Bou I've always said you are a great Mum and a great person and here you are just proving it all over again. Bless you. xx

Posted by: Shaz at May 8, 2011 11:26 PM

That was a really ballsy thing you did. Obviously it was the right thing, but in today's world there is often a high price for doing the right thing, with parents going into denial and friendships breaking up over such revelations as the parents point their fingers anywhere but at there own. I'm happy to hear that so far it hasn't blown up in your face. Myself, I would have done SOMETHING, but would have agonized over the potential consequences of my actions, no matter how well intentioned.

Posted by: diamond dave at May 9, 2011 03:49 PM

Yes absolutely the right thing. I thank heaven daily I never had to make such a call or ever received one. Whenever I hear of a kid like that I think... "there but for the grace of God go I". *sigh*

But like you said, a problem can't be fixed if the right people don't know about it. Better to learn it early while there is a chance of helping him.

I hope she can turn him around, but ultimately it's up to him. So I'll pray he has the strength to let it go and live a life without drugs.

Posted by: Teresa at May 10, 2011 04:35 PM

I really think he's going to be OK. I got the name of the dealer today. Don't know his folks. I'm sitting on that name, filing it away. Don't know him. Don't want to know him. Don't want my kids to know him...

Posted by: Bou at May 10, 2011 09:02 PM