May 07, 2011

Keeping Me On My Toes

I haven't posted a picture of Bones lately. He's still into skinny jeans and his frickin' red tennis shoes. I call them his Wizard of Oz shoes; if Dorothy had been a boy, these are the shoes he would wear.

We had to go out today to run an errand and this is how he was dressed. I call him, 'The red crayon' when he dresses like this. The red imp. If it's chilly out, he throws on a red hoody to complete the ensemble.

Yet he is never made fun of in school. It must be that art thang they have going on there...

The Red Crayon.jpg

Meanwhile, I'm chaperoning seven 6th graders to Kennedy Space Center on Monday. There will be 400 kids going. Holy crap...

So he tells me about the group I've been assigned and he tells me they're all good kids. He also informs me that they're always saying, "Bones, is your Mom nice?" That is the extent of the story I hear... other than he said he told them I was cool.

Then tonight, on the ride back from our errands, Bones in the back seat of the car with his brothers, my husband and I hear the following conversation, pretty much Bones just talking to his brothers, nearly a one way conversation:

Bones: So Mom is chaperoning. There 400 kids going, but Mom got me and my six friends.

Ringo: Mom, you need to quit saying yes.

Bones: She's going to have a GREAT time. Right Mom? She had a GREAT time at Universal with my friends.

Ringo: You did?

Me: Yup, I had a blast. Seriously.

Bones: So there are seven of us. All my friends are black except for Max and Matt. Everyone kept asking me, "Is your Mom nice?" and finally I said, "No. She hates black people!" Bwhahahahahahahaha!

Ringo: You did not! Bwhahahahahaha!

Mr. T, finally alert: You did?

I quit breathing.

My husband looked at me and said, "Holy sh--"

Bones: And then I told them I was joking. I thought it was hysterical.

Ringo: Are you SURE you remembered to tell them you were joking? 'Cuz, you'd be the type of person to forget that last part...

Bones: No, I did. I thought it was funny. They laughed.

I looked at my husband and said, "OMG. Only he would do that..."

Good grief.


My eldest son reminds me so much of my brother sometimes. They have the same sense of humor.

For Spanish they had to make a video... I think making something. Given that all his friends love my sandwiches, they decided to do a video of making a sandwich.

In Spanish.

And to do so would require them to go to Publix and buy the food... while narrating... in Spanish.

But to add an extra twist, the boys decided they'd take all the food and place it in places it didn't belong. For instance, they shoved just about everything in the bread section, behind the bread, and then they'd say to the camera, in Spanish, "You need lunch meat" and a boy would reach his hand into the bread and pull out a bag of lunch meat and throw it into the cart.

The funniest was when Ringo was filmed looking at the list and said, "you need a tomato", reached his hand into a huge pile of peanut butter jars, pulled out a tomato, and then chucked it into the cart. (Yes, they bought the tomato.)

Back at my house, they assembled the sandwich. At one point my son had the tomato in his hand and was cutting it, looked at the camera and said in Spanish, "Don't cut off your fingers..."

And it doesn't sound as ridiculous as it was because it is impossible to put on here how absolutely AWFUL their Spanish is. There is absolutely NO Spanish accent, it's all said very slowly so you can hear every syllable, and they're a mess.

I asked him if he was going to put it on youtube. If he does, I'll link it. It's dang funny.

I strongly suggest if any of you are linked to Ringo on FB, you'll find it on there...

Posted by Boudicca at May 7, 2011 08:56 PM

Bones and my brother dress similarly, though with my brother, it's purple. My brother would also tell that kind of joke, but intentionally leave out the part where he was joking.

Posted by: Andrew Phule at May 7, 2011 11:24 PM

You ought to hear French with an Ohio accent, spoken in Montreal, in the checkout line trying to get the checker to speak slower so that I could pay with the colorfull money.

Posted by: AC at May 8, 2011 12:29 AM

Ha! Bones would be totally fine here in California with his outfit. He looks sooo much like the kids I chauffeur in Malibu.

Also, he could equally fit in Northern CA. Although I don't know if those are gang colors...I do know that there are a few gang~esqe cars painted elaborately in the colors of his shoes, that roam our East Bay neighborhood.

(Sorry for any confusion, I spend time/work in both So.Cal and No.Cal. Our home in the East Bay is the direct opposite of Malibu. It's a big gang area.)

Either way, he is stylin'!

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at May 8, 2011 02:11 AM

That made my mother's day. You have to tell him it was hilarious. I loved the guy hanging in the background all the time with the sunglasses. And when Ringo says "Cheese". It had me rolling. If you can get this on youtube... do it. Hilarious!!! Oh... and if you get on Ringo's facebook, I have my youngest in his play video posted.

Posted by: vwbug at May 8, 2011 06:46 AM

Was at Publix ... was wondering what they were doing there! It does explain a few things! haha

Posted by: jd at May 8, 2011 08:31 AM

Andrew- Kids like you bro and Bones don't see life the way the rest of us do. Holy cats... it's like life is in technicolor...

AC- Funny you should say that. I watched the video and I said to my son, 'You remind me of when I took French I in Pensacola and we had this sweet southern redneck kid and our French teacher (a cajun with proper French) would love herself silly over "Parrrr Layyy Voooo... Fronnn Sayssss"'. So reminded me of that. Their Spanish is THAT bad.

DDP- I think that they might be gang colors in Fresno! I was hearing about their bad gang problems, something that was shocking considering the size of the city. I think West Palm has been trying to learn from them. Anyway, yeah, could be gangsta colors. ;-)

VW- I will log onto his account and look! Yeah, Ringo has a very dry sense of humor. The Cheese thing made me laugh. Also the Don't cut off your fingers. And all their Spanish... it's just so bad. His teacher has to laugh at this crap. She has to.

JD- He didn't tell me he saw you!

Posted by: Bou at May 8, 2011 11:31 AM

Well, at least you know he's not colorblind AND you will never lose him in a crowded place! :) I would keep his laundry separate, however.

Posted by: PeggyU at May 8, 2011 12:04 PM

Now if the pants were red instead or orange-red, he would match.

Gangs don't care, any form of red or blue is bad in some way.

Of course, all that goes out the window once they see Bones.

There is no way he could confuse a gang member into thinking the colors he's wearing meant anything gang related.

Posted by: The Thomas at May 8, 2011 03:09 PM

Geesh! Any chance he wants to be my Spanish study partner via skype? lol

I am struggling. (Good at English, bad at espanol.)

I am JUST NOW starting to get it, and class is over next week. heh. Go figure.

Posted by: Rave at May 9, 2011 09:16 PM

Loved it! too funny!! "Cheese!" Oh, and man his voice is deep and he is handsome! You are a lucky mom. :)

Posted by: oddybobo at May 11, 2011 10:13 AM