May 08, 2011

Mother's Day

Today is Mother's Day and I was suprised this morning with doughnuts. I suspect one of my boys put the bug in my husband's ears as I gave up doughnuts in November and have been heard to say more than once, "I love doughnuts. They may very well be my favorite food. I could write poetry about doughnuts...."

It is true.

Doughnuts (I had two!) and roses and funny cards and a gift. A lot of laughter. How can one ask for more?

We went to the beach for supper, something we do often on Mother's or Father's Day. Get sub sandwiches, grab some towels and chairs, and head out for the kids to play in the surf and we eat casually and talk.

We have been parents for 16 years now. I looked at my husband sitting next to me as he video taped our three boys in the water, playing, climbing all over each other, laughing. He is graying and his hair is thinning. The lines are deeper... deeper from the years and the stress that comes with being a father, husband, and owning one's own business. He wears the exact same size clothes a he did 16 years ago... it is as if someone created a painting and just changed the colors and added the lines to show the years.

I looked upon myself. I definitely don't wear the same size, although I'm close. I don't think I laugh as much. I feel more stressed, I struggle to sleep, and I worry much... whether it matters or not, I worry. My hair is short and graying. My face is rounder now and the collagen is wearing as my face is starting to show the sags of a middle aged woman.

We watched the young people with their babies. A young father carried a little girl of 6 months, holding the hand of a 4 year old boy, while his young wife helped their 2 year old daughter make her way through the dried seaweed.

I caught my husband watching them as well, as our three boys tussled in the water. Our three boys, with my eldest and his broad man shoulders, my second with his long torso starting to stretch into his height, and my youngest just starting his first growth spurt. Two voices are deep. One is not.

I leaned over and said, "Where did it go? Wasn't that just us?"

He smiled at the young family and said, 'It didn't take long...'

Sixteen years of being a parent... and it feels like just yesterday when we took my eldest to the beach for our first Father's Day. We were so young.

We have not many more Mother's or Father's Days that we'll be going to the beach. I suspect... we have exactly two where we will have our entire family. In two years, my eldest may very well be away at school, if I don't convince him to stay home for the first two.

But either way, we are limited. And we both know it.

He video taped them laughing. My eldest would pick up my youngest and throw him like a cannon ball into the oncoming surf. My second son would help him up and then it would start again. Piggy back rides and scrambling for the biggest wave.

We called my Mom to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and I think for the first time, it was a two way conversation with all three of them. In the past my two oldest have to be prodded to speak. Today they are more grown up and I hear it was a more fair exchange.

And I like that.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you. And for those with young children, hug them tight. The days come when you realize... Mother's Day will be a phone call.

The dinners on the beach... are not forever.

Posted by Boudicca at May 8, 2011 08:57 PM

That was beautiful,Bou! Happy Mother's Day to you! :D

Posted by: PeggyU at May 8, 2011 09:59 PM

Gorgeous post - thanks for sharing!

Posted by: Shaz at May 8, 2011 11:27 PM

My oldest woke me at 6am because he was lonely. I had to fix breakfast. The boys started arguing about an hour into the day. ;-) Yet, I enjoyed the extrahugs and the fact that I am a mom...

Posted by: vwbug at May 9, 2011 04:38 AM

Beautiful post! Enjoying every moment with my kids too! sniff...

Posted by: jd at May 9, 2011 11:00 AM

Beautiful! Happy belated Mother's Day, Bou!

Posted by: pam at May 10, 2011 07:48 AM

Kind of funny how posts sometimes take this weird turn. This isn't how it had started... about how few holidays we have like this, but as I started to write, that's the life that post took.

Posted by: Bou at May 10, 2011 09:00 PM

Donut poetry:

Posted by: Harvey at May 13, 2011 09:25 PM