June 03, 2011

Hollywood Would Have a Field Day

My husband and I went to see Bridesmaids tonight and we laughed. Very hard.

It is crude humor and usually I roll my eyes, but for some reason I couldn't quit laughing...

... or thinking, 'Holy crap... that would happen to me...' or "I've met someone like that..." or 'That DID happen to me..."

For the record, let me state, I have in fact thrown up in a girl's hair as she was throwing up too.

In my defense, it was puke fest on a dive boat. Wretched awful. I threw up so much that at one point the Dive Master said, "Is everyone ready, but Bou, who still appears to be puking?" as I grabbed my tanks, lurched to the side to have him yell, 'Dive! Dive! Dive!' I threw myself over the edge as he yelled after me, "I swear you'll feel better under water..."

Puking in her hair as we both hurled over the side... was just a highlight.

Or Lowlight. I wonder if she remembers. I didn't ever catch her name.

And yes, I felt better under water.

There is weird crap that happens to me ALL.DAY.LONG, that never makes it in this blog. Who in the hell has time to write it all when you're busy living it?

So weird is some of the crap that happens, that I have a coworker that actually waits for me to come in for some weird story from the day before. She knows I'm game and she's sure there has to be one and rarely do I disappoint.

As I told her of the incredibly awkward situation that happened to me in the hospital the other day, running into our young Italian priest, straight from Rome, who asked me quite candidly exactly what had happened to Joe... and I, in utter horror, tried to tip toe around how to explain to a man, who talks like Father Guido Sarducci, a man I hardly know, about another man having his balls cut off... and as I fully acted out the situation for her, including when he almost crossed his legs and appeared to wince, she said to me, as she laughed hysterically, "I so want to just follow you around with a movie camera sometimes. You get yourself in the funniest messes. Nobody has the stuff happen to them that you do..."

Seriously, it's what keeps life entertaining.

And I'm telling you, Saturday Night Live would have loved that as a skit...

And with Bones in my life... seriously, Hollywood would have a field day.

Posted by Boudicca at June 3, 2011 10:57 PM

I suppose puking in a stranger's hair is one way to meet her. I'm sure she will always remember you! :) BTW, can you puke underwater? Just curious.

Posted by: PeggyU at June 4, 2011 12:16 AM

And I have no idea whose friend she was either. There was a group of us from work on this dive boat and I remember she was a blonde and bigger then me. What an awful diving trip... the Dive Master still teases me.

I think you probably can if the force is enough. But they were right... as crappy as you feel in chopping water riding the top, once you get in it, I was fine. I wanted to stay at 30 feet the rest of the day. It was an argument to get me back on the boat.

Posted by: Bou at June 4, 2011 09:22 AM

Sounds like your life is a sitcom, especially with a child like Bones.

Posted by: diamond dave at June 4, 2011 09:51 PM

Yes Peggy you can puke under water through your regulator, then you just clear it. Good fish food.

Posted by: Morrigan at June 5, 2011 01:04 PM

OK, first of all EEWWWWW! I can so picture you being so sick on that boat, and second of all, I am crying with laughter picturing you trying to delicately tell your priest about poor Joe's surgery....

Posted by: Mary at June 5, 2011 10:27 PM

I'll never look at fish the same way. I WAS all hungry for that Copper River salmon that just came into the grocery store, but now I'm not so sure ...

Posted by: PeggyU at June 5, 2011 11:25 PM