June 19, 2011

Father's Day 2011

This was a tough Father's Day this year. It is the first without my father in law, so more than anything, the only thing my husband wanted to do was go to the cemetery. Since we never go, it was the least we could do. I suspect it will be a Father's Day tradition.

His parents picked a beautiful cemetery that is 40 minutes from our home. One way. So it is really 1.5 hours round trip. I have talked often of moving them, finding a cemetery near us and just having them put there. Of course I've not looked into cost, but it is ridiculous.

The cemetery in down town West Palm Beach is one of my favorites, dating back to the early 1900s and has some fantastic history. Why not there? Whenever we have to go downtown, we'd be right there... stone's throwing distance. I guarantee you I'd go once a month at least if they were at that cemetery. I'd go just to walk amongst the old graves.

Gravestones change like clothes, fashion-wise. It's fascinating to see the changes through the years.

Then there is the cemetery where we go for Memorial Day and it's 20 minutes away, just down the street from Bones' school. We could definitely hit that on all the major holidays, in particular as it's so dang easy to get to.

I just didn't get it. We're the only ones that go now and even then, we go only once every few years. Although I know that is changing as of this year.

So that's what we did this afternoon before dinner.

The day was spent at a funeral. A mentor to my husband, a surgeon in town, died at age 67 of cancer. When my husband got out of school this friend of his would take him to lunch, talk to him about life, talk to him about business and how to run one. He had kids in middle school and high school at the time. He was in his mid 40s at the time, my age. They didn't do the same thing for a living, but my husband respected greatly his views on life and viewed him as a big brother.

His children buried him on Father's Day. It was a choice I was to respect, although we'd have rather been spending it with our own family, we understood. It was a wonderful service, very touching.

He was too young.

So that's pretty much how we spent this Father's Day, at a funeral and a cemetery. But in my husband's mind, it wasn't a bad Father's Day. He paid respects to his Father, and that was the most important thing.

And... I bought a package... 1 pound Hershey's Peanut Butter cup, 2 cups, 1/2 pound each. I think it's the biggest they make! Since it's his favorite candy, I bought that as a surprise. It was kind of funny.

Happy Father's Day to all of you out there Celebrating. We used to go to the beach on Father's Day. Now we'll go to the cemetery. Times change.

Posted by Boudicca at June 19, 2011 09:02 PM

This was my first Father's Day without my dad. All the hype about "Father's Day sales" and such got on my nerves a bit. I guess I got tired of being reminded that Dad's not around anymore. I'm sorta glad I had to work Sunday, keeping busy kept my mind off it a bit that day.

Posted by: George P at June 20, 2011 10:10 AM

There are worse things.

My Dad tells me that after his older brother died, his Mother (my Grandmother) used to make the family visit the grave every Sunday.

That ended in the early days of WWII when she figured out that he would have died in one of the invasions of the war.

I only got the witness her depression for the week around his birthday and the week around when he died. Some things never truly go away.

Posted by: The Thomas at June 24, 2011 10:10 PM

As far as the whole time to visit thing goes, it depends on where you are ...

One set of grandparents (and great-grandparents) are 4-5 hours away in Chicago.

Another set of grandparents (and great-grandparents) are 40 minutes away ... with some great-great grandparents another 20 minutes north.

The other great-grandparents are 4-5 hours North on the other side of the Mackinac Bridge.

My wife's parents are an hour away.

My parents are still living on the other side of town. We are lucky as they can still drive to visit us.

Posted by: The Thomas at June 24, 2011 10:21 PM