July 21, 2011

You Might...

Can you imagine living somewhere where a leopard can come to your neighborhood and attack you? Or where there are 'forest guards'?

Holy cats. Literally.

(You might live in India if wild animals can stray into your village and kill you. You might live in India if you have forest guards...)

I was thinking today. I get all these 'You might live in FL' lists, and I decided to make my own for South Florida.

You might live in S. Fl if you've seen an alligator in your yard.

You might live in S. Fl if you've had to quickly warn a neighbor there is a 12 foot bull gator in their yard for fear they'll stumble upon it instead while mowing their lawn.

You might live in S. Fl if when your 16 year old asks to play golf with friends, you have to reiterate to him to stay away from the gators, don't taunt them, engage them or try to hit them with golf balls.

You might live in S. Fl when your kids point out that the morning road kill on the highway is... a gator.

You might live in S. Fl if you've had to stop your car in the middle of the road because... a gator is blocking your path.

You might live in S. Fl if it's raining hard and as you drive down the boulevard your son says, while looking in the swails off the side, "Look, a gator..."

You might live in S. Fl if the running game in the car is not counting VW bugs, but counting gators sunning themselves.

You might live in S. Fl if you have to cut your grass twice a week in the summer.

You might live in S. Fl if you can plant a houseplant outside, give it one growing season, and it turns into a tree.

You might live in S. Fl if you suspect the city water is polluted.

You might live in S. Fl if you open the morning paper and find an elected official is indicted and you think, "Ho hum. Again?"

You might live in S. Fl if when a friend says to you, "Did you see the shuttle launch?" they don't mean "did you watch it on TV", but instead, "Was the sky clear enough that when you walked out your front door you could see the launch?"

You might live in S. Fl if you try to eat at as many new or good restaurants from May through September because everything is almost empty.

You might live in S. Fl if you avoid going to dinner at all costs from November until April because you'll never find a seat... in particular on a weekend.

You might live in S. Fl if you've met a Holocaust survivor.

You might live in S. Fl if you walk into a restaurant, in particular on 'the Island', and a 90 year old man walks in with a 21 year old woman dressed in 3 inch fmp's, bleached hair, and 36EEE. And it is NOT his niece.

You might live in S. Fl if you have to drive through the ghetto to get to the nicest neighborhoods in the area.

You might live in S. Fl where the per capita earnings are amazingly high, people drive BMWs, Mercedes, and Bentleys yet the public education stinks.

You might live in S. Fl if you are sitting at a stoplight and you're the only one NOT driving a BMW, Mercedes or Bentley.

You might live in S. Fl if you become a weather wonk in June.

You might live in S. Fl if you take a Cat 1 hurricane seriously, NOT because it's a Cat 1, but because you know dang well that by the time it gets to you, in less than 12 hours, it can be a Cat 4.

You might live in S. Fl if you hate the people reporting on the weather channel about hurricanes because they sound so stupid. "Look, this is a STICK! In 120 mph winds, it could be DEADLY!" Right.

And... you might live in S. Fl if you drive down the road and see a long line of Lamborghinis driving down the street and although your kids are excited at the sight, someone says, "Remember when we saw this last time when we were at..."

Not making any of it up...

Posted by Boudicca at July 21, 2011 09:35 PM
Comments

I can`t realy sey! But I think the best way have big gan)))

Posted by: alexander at July 22, 2011 04:50 AM

This text is good.I like it.
P.S.Sorry my poor english

Posted by: alexander at July 22, 2011 04:56 AM

Right now ...

You might live in Michigan if your neighbors are going to Florida to escape the heat.

Bwahahahahahaah

Replace Gator with Deer and that is Michigan.

Posted by: Quality Weenie at July 22, 2011 09:40 AM

You might live in Orlando if no one can drive in the rain

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at July 22, 2011 11:04 AM

You might live in Pensacola if no one uses turn signals.

Posted by: Angus of Jura at July 22, 2011 11:17 AM

You might live in Central Florida if you have to keep an eye out for gators, deer and bear. Oh...and armadillos.

Posted by: Jean at July 22, 2011 11:21 AM

...and raccoons and snakes.

Posted by: Jean at July 22, 2011 11:24 AM

You might live in South Florida if you regularly see Jaguars and Mercedes in Costco's parking lot

Posted by: George P at July 22, 2011 12:16 PM

I live now in a place where the people pay huge enormous gigantic property taxes and get what they pay for. Outstanding public education, city services, police/fire etc. It's a bit of an adjustment from living in San Diego.

No alligators.

Oddly enough, I don't think I've ever met a Holocaust survivor to talk to. My first CO in the USN was a White Russian. As a child he was on the last ship out of Riga before the end. Same era, wrong holocaust.

The BAND started practice today across the street. That's where the high school, middle school and elementary school are located. Wow.

Posted by: Curtis at July 22, 2011 02:43 PM

You might live in Pensacola if drivers go at least 15 mph UNDER the speed limit.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at July 22, 2011 03:02 PM

Or I just won't live in FL. ROFLMAO. Too many gators not enough upside. ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at July 22, 2011 10:00 PM

You might live in S. Florida if you wear shorts and flip-flops year round. ;)

Excellent list!

Posted by: pam at July 23, 2011 08:35 AM

You might live in Los Angeles if it takes you 45 minutes to drive 10 miles...and your passenger remarks, "Wow! We made really good time today."

Seriously.

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at July 23, 2011 04:45 PM

Gators = the reason I will never live in South Florida, but you already knew that.

Posted by: Jim - PRS at July 25, 2011 01:16 AM