July 26, 2011

We Get By With a Little Help From our Friends

I wasn't sure what to do today... I had a kid I had to lift up. Nobody's business as to why, let us just say we received some potentially life altering and not in a good way news yesterday and he was still reeling. I'll leave it at that, except to say, I can't change anything, I can't fix it, I can't make it go away.

I was at work and I picked up my phone and texted one of his closest friends.

Me: Can you come over today? I'll pick you up from home, I'll take you to work after, I don't care. Let me know. It would be good if you could hang with him.

I suspected they'd talked, but I wasn't sure.

He txted back: Sure. My Mom said it's OK.

Me: OK. I'll get you. Let me know what you want to do. I'll take y'all anywhere.

Him: Can you take us to the gym? I always think that makes me feel better when I'm sad.

Me: Yup.

I picked him up, took him back to our house where my kid was just sitting on the couch, doing nothing.

Him: Get up. We're going to the gym.

Son: We are?

Him: Yeah, get a shirt on. Get up. Let's go...

And with a slow grin, he got off the couch and got dressed.

I picked them up 90 minutes later, both of them were laughing.

I asked him later if he felt better and he said, "No. Not at all."

And deep inside he doesn't and he may never, but there are spurts of good which is all we can ask for sometimes until the dark recedes. I'd not be his age ever again. I remember it and I hated it.

People have asked me how he is doing. He doesn't make great grades and he's kind of immature. But when I assess the situation, I usually say, he's becoming a very good musician... and he has the GREATEST friends, absolutely the most wonderful friends.

Today... showed it. It made me smile. I know all his friends, one he's known since he was born. I have all of them in my cell phone. Every one of them. And I know... who I need to call for which situation.

He has great friends. And you can't beat that with a stick.

Posted by Boudicca at July 26, 2011 09:01 PM

Sending prayers his way. I would not want to be a teen again either. It was a hard time for me.

You are a great mom.

Posted by: Mary at July 26, 2011 10:19 PM

If a chicken hat, or strawberry hat, or candy corn hat will help, you know it's his.

Posted by: Roses at July 26, 2011 10:43 PM

Tell him I'm a psychic and can predict the future and his will be just fine. He is one handsome man. Yaa, I know he doesn't see it. Sucks to be him right now. Worse yet is you. You can see that he will be fine but have no way of getting into that mind and fixing it. And having had fears of my own. I truly get it. It racks through the whole body. Good luck, hugs and prayers.

Posted by: vwbug at July 27, 2011 05:27 AM

... I second what Mary had to say.....

Posted by: Eric at July 27, 2011 07:58 AM

sending happy thoughts your way

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at July 27, 2011 08:12 AM

Whatever the problem may be, he is very fortunate to have such a great group of friends always there for him. If every teenager in America had such a support system for when times got tough, the world would be so much a better place.

Posted by: diamond dave at July 27, 2011 08:29 AM

He is a fine young man, but the teen years do suck. I hope that whatever he is going through will start to get easier. My prayers to him. He is perfect, just in his own way. ;) If you, or he, needs a thing, I'm a call away.

Posted by: Oddybobo at July 27, 2011 11:50 AM

He has family and friends behind him to help him find those 'spurts of good'. A truly 'good' friend in the teen years is a veritable blessing...that he has more than one is a gift that reflects what he truly has to offer.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at July 27, 2011 09:13 PM

I so love those frickin' chicken hats. As soon as you get it all set up, Roses, I'm putting a link so EVERYONE can have a chicken hat!

I said to him the other day, "I miss when you were sad and I could kiss it and you'd smile and it would be better. I miss that..."

I remember someone once said to me, "As they get bigger, so do the problems."

As they get bigger, you can't kiss the problems away. They have to learn how to deal, and figure out whether they will let it rule their lives. I'd give up what I like best about myself, for him to like all of him for who he is.

But it's not an option.

Posted by: Bou at July 27, 2011 09:58 PM

Its funny, the things that go on in High School.

Last weekend was my 40th HS reunion. I talked to people who haven't talked to me since JrHi. There were some people there who would talk to me in HS, but who won't talk to me now, for whatever reason.

We all had a good time, even the ones who normally would be sidelined due to lack of social graces. The music wasn't bad either, The Contours (Now that I can dance!) and The Miracles (less Smoky Robinson).

We have lost about 5% of our class, mostly in the last ten years. There may be more, but those are the known ones. (That included one of our two valedictorians. Wow.)

Unfortunately, we were only able to contact about half of the class in the year prior to the reunion. Now that we have a Facebook group, we will keep poking until we find the rest.

Posted by: The Thomas at July 27, 2011 10:18 PM