November 19, 2011

Shut up!

We are off in the morning to see my folks for Thanksgiving. It's been a busy week.

My husband and I went to a wedding tonight. I wasn't so excited. It wasn't someone I knew and I'm a bit jaded about weddings. The stats are 50% end in divorce and I wonder of the 50% that aren't divorced, how many are REALLY happy.


How many are tolerating or just going through the motions? I think it's pretty safe to say that stat is pretty high, making the overall 'happily married' a pretty low statistic.

Family weddings? I'm good. Other than that? I struggle.

Anyway, so we went to this wedding and fortunately were sat with some folks I really like.

Behind us was a table of some of the Groom's friends. They came across as a bit of a classless crowd, not settling down for the Best Man's speech.

Let me state up front, this wedding took place on Palm Beach and the reception took place at a very high end country club in the North County.

My husband had walked away, and I noticed there was a bit of commotion at our table. The girl next to me was saying something to someone across the table and it appeared crude. (This girl is a friend of mine.) I looked at her quizzically and said, "What? What are you doing?" To which she got a weird look and said, "Did you not see what is going on behind us?"

And behind us, at the rowdy table, there was a girl with a dress that was shorter, perhaps 2 inches above her knee and her date/boyfriend/husband, had his hand UP her dress. And it stayed that way for a good 10 to 15 minutes as he altered what he was doing.

I did a double take. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I looked back at my table, with all eyes upon me as they'd already seen it, and the look of shock, horror, and revulsion was obviously so evident on my face, everyone burst out laughing.

Folks... these were late 30 something, 40 something people. These weren't teenagers or edgy 20 somethings. These were like... middle aged people.

And the remarks at our table just slunk down to new lows as double entendres and twisted words came out of everyone's mouth.

I'm not virginal 46 year old. I've been around the block.

But for the Love of God, just when you think you've seen and heard everything, something happens that makes you think, "Our society is going to hell in a handbasket..."

As we went to the car, one of the couples said to me, "OK, Bou, you have a good one?" to which I replied, "Oh... a night to remember! For sure..."


Blogging from my folks' home starting tomorrow...

Posted by Boudicca at November 19, 2011 11:51 PM

Ew -- so classless. Bleh. And near food too. Vomit.

Posted by: Erica at November 20, 2011 11:25 AM

Disgusting. Lucky I wasn't there - I would have had to say something! YUK

Posted by: Shaz at November 20, 2011 08:39 PM

baw hahahahahaha. Glad I wasn't there. I would not have been able to stop from commenting loud enough for them to hear. See, you thought it was going to be boring. ;-)

Posted by: vwbug at November 20, 2011 09:50 PM

Sounds like something out of an old Sharon Stone movie...

Posted by: diamond dave at November 21, 2011 09:52 AM

Good grief. Have people no filters of any kind? Ugh.

Hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Posted by: pam at November 21, 2011 02:23 PM

Oh good grief. I wish I could have walked past them later and ask when the video would be on sale... it seems they did want everyone to be in on it... ICK ICK ICK

Posted by: Teresa at November 21, 2011 03:16 PM

There was awhile that most at the table were waiting for my further reaction. I was so flustered. Finally I stammered, "I... I... I have to tell my sister this..." and I broke out my cell phone to txt my sister while everyone laughed.

My sister said, "Don't shake his hand" and I replied, 'I'm getting ahead of him in the cake line."

People are just so nasty. Good Lord.

Posted by: Bou at November 21, 2011 04:35 PM

This is the second time I read this, I wanted to think before commenting...*

I would submit that the 50% statistic is flawed. While it may well be true that 50% of all marriages, total end in divorce, much of that statistic is from serial divorces. If there are, say, ten couples who marry and one couple goes through five marriages and divorces of one partner, and three marriages and divorces of the other. One othe couple has four divorces and remarriages and the other partner two ove each, what then has happened to that statistic, even though the other eight couples stay together.

Nor do I agree with the couple staying together in misery theory. Married people simply live longer, divorced people die sooner. I rest my case.

Now I complain about my marriage all the time. Does this mean I'm unhappy or does this mean that some religious sects frown on braggin'? You decide while I go play with the grandkids.

Oh, and sorry you got caught up with classless people. When the phrase "don't be judgemental!" got imbedded into America, we stopped using our own judgement. Too damned bad. It used to be that classless people were ostracized. Therefore folks showed class, at least in public.

I don't often think too long before commenting.

Posted by: Peter at November 22, 2011 08:07 AM

Peter I know you're right about the statistics of divorce vs marriage.

Statistics are funny things. Not sure there is a causation with being "married" being the reason people live longer. Correlation yes, causation no. My grandmothers both lived to be 99. One was widowed in her 40's and never remarried, the other was widowed in her 60's also never remarried. Therefore they were technically not married for many years and lived to be very old.

There are, of course, numerous examples of all kinds of people living or dying at various ages and in various states of marriedness. It's interesting to look at as numbers, but once again I don't think the numbers add up to the end result. ;-)

Posted by: Teresa at November 22, 2011 02:01 PM

I hadn't really given thought to the serial divorced. It does happen. I actually attribute that mostly to people who really like being married, but struggle to find the right mate. You don't know someone unless you live with them.

I think that married people live longer, however, because they help each other stay healthy or get care. When you live alone, someone isn't there to notice that something isn't right or to prod you to seek help.

As miserable as Joe was in his marriage (he was married to a real shrew), I firmly believe that if his wife had been alive, he'd not have ended up in his physical state. She'd never have allowed him to NOT bathe for so long he ended up with that boil that turned into grangrene. Never.

And as miserable as I KNOW my mil was, she kept my fil alive. She took care of him. He wasn't going to die on her watch, even if she did contemplate leaving.

I can add story upon story of people I know in unhappy situations, that still take care of one another.

That said, that stat may be skewed. I'm just bit jaded in that, 'And they lived happily ever after'. I think that's rare, although EVERY SINGLE PERSON thinks it will be them when they walk down that aisle.

Posted by: Bou at November 22, 2011 02:08 PM

"going to hell in a handbasket..." yep that was exactly what my dad said when he saw MTV for the first time...

Ignorant and stupid people existed back then and still exist today, the only difference is that we are expected to tolerate them today..

Oh, and you can't hold it against them at work...


Posted by: P'cola Titan at November 24, 2011 07:28 PM