Boudicca's Voice

Happy New Year 2012

I've had to give some thought to this Post. Looking for the funny, but feeling more reflective and hopeful.

I was ready for this year to be over, but I have great trepidation for this new year. It wasn't a bad year, but one I thought was thoroughly stressful at times.

This was a year of great emotional growth for Ringo. He got his Driver's License and exhibited enough maturity for us to get an additional car, one which should help me out considerably. His sophomore year ended with a bust, our constantly fighting motivational issues, a slight depression, and an abusive teacher. He had two terrible teachers, which was enough to contribute to our bad year, my realizing he has a tough time digging deep and finding it within to overcome.

Not a hugely motivated kid to begin with, his psyche took a big hit, as we had started that school year off with a broken wrist, one that will eventually have to be rebuilt with cadaver tendons and what not, something we're putting off as long as possible.

This summer gave him some devastating news, something that is permanent and he cannot control, that gave us all a 'hide the knives moment'. None of this made my blog in detail. It threw me into a tailspin too; I cried for 24 hours straight, unable to control it. I heard myself utter the words, in complete desperation, "I would die for you if I could... but it will not help."

My mother put it the best, "He was handed something he does not want, he has to figure out how to handle it." And he has. It is the last half of this year, where we've seen him step up to the plate, pulling his grades up to where they should be, feeling more confident in himself in what he is capable of.

He's stumbled a couple times, but I was heartened when he found himself at a party recently when he realized there was underage drinking, and he looked at his buddy and said, "I'm outta here..." where they promptly came to our home. The booze was being offered up by parents. (These are people I don't know. WTF? Who does that, offer underage kids alcohol?)

I don't know what this future holds for him. There are times I walk on egg shells with him, as he's the moody teenager, quiet and sullen. I look at his FB sometimes and am more full of hope. I read in one of his comments that he is full of hope for his future... so I am too.

He asked me to sign him up for an SAT prep class. I am happy to spend money on something he realizes may be worthwhile. Two years ago, he'd not have cared how he scored. He'll be applying to many state universities and informed me his Hail Mary pass is Dartmouth. No way in hell will he get in, but when he said to me, "Let THEM tell me no..." made me realize, he may be OK in the end.

I think I like the man he is becoming. And I really like his friends. And I still laugh that in all the seriousness of his career testing, it coming out he should be a doctor or a financial analyst, his little boy video gaming self came out too. "Baby, what did you put that it said you should enlist?" and came the response with the sheepish grin, "I put I wanted to be a sniper..." (You all may remember that.)

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Mr. T has struggled this last half of the year, as he's realized that you have to be a lot more than just smart to make the grades. It takes time with the books. And to be the tippy top of the class, you need A's... B+ aren't going to cut it.

We are realizing his weaknesses, which is standardized testing. I'll be hiring someone this summer to help him learn how to take the English section. Scoring in the top 95% for math and science on a pre-ACT test, he bombed the English section, although he does well in his English class.

I had to fight for him to be in Honors English he tested so average on the entrance exam, but he proved me right, doing very well in the class. His English teacher told me, 'If I didn't know the story of your fight to get him in my class, I'd have never known. He fits right in with the rest of them.'

I do wonder if we're seeing some residual from a neurological apraxia we think we were able to work through when he was younger.

He has friends, but doesn't love high school. His current high school does NOT offer dual enrollment, but I'm looking into it anyway. I actually think that other than his friends, high school is a waste of time for him. This is something he'll have to work through though, and I'm hoping that with time he'll make peace.

His grades were fine, but he wants to pull the A's. It was heartening to hear him say, "The kids who made better grades than me, aren't smarter. They just studied more." I'm glad he broke that code. He's on the cusp of the top 10% of his small graduating class.

I know he'll be fine... but it would be nice to see him content. He's a good kid.

I like even more that during this Christmas holiday, he takes his little brother out for a bike ride two or three times a day, and they've been spending a lot of time in the backyard playing football. The critical comments are near gone... as he's just enjoying Bones for who he is, scattered energy and a happy heart.

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Bones has had another fantastic year. Academically he'll never be at the top, but that's... not his gift. He has the gift of communicating and being funny being him.

He has the gift of living on a planet of cotton candy clouds and gum drop dew.

We had a cancer scare this summer with him, something I did not post. I was absolutely blown away by the maturity he exhibited as we went from doctor to doctor. Never once did he flinch or seem horrified by what was going on around him, instead he bantered with technicians and doctors, seeming so very comfortable in his skin.

As I stood at the side, helplessly watching all that was going on around, I was amazed at how grown up he was... and how my other two would not have handled it quite the same way.

His body is doing funny things as it hits puberty. His voice has dropped nearly an octave (normal stuff), evidently, as when we went to the Pediatrician today (had to make sure the latest puberty freak out was not lymphoma) our Doc said in a fake deep voice, "Hello, Bones..." which made us all laugh.

Bones just gets swollen tissue and cysts as his body makes its way through this transition. The doctor told him today (he has swollen breast tissue), "Bones, the biggest issue in all of this... is that you told your brothers. You are going to be teased relentlessly now..." and Bones laughed with him and the two joked around about all the things his older brothers could possibly say. (The funniest thing was not guessed. Mr. T said to him when we walked in, after hearing it was all fine, "So, did he tell you that you're going to grow up to be a Mom instead?" Heh.)

Sometimes, I think that Bones will be my most successful in life. Success is so largely based on attitude.

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By the end of this coming year, Ringo should be an Eagle Scout, Mr. T will be on the cusp of getting his Driver's License, and Bones will be auditioning for the High School for the Arts.

I'll have two kids driving, one kid singing... and hopefully I'll still be sane.

The verdict remains out on the sanity thing. Not sure I ever was ever... totally sane.

May all of you have a Happy New Year. I'm nervous about this year, kind of strange scary feelings, and I'm not sure why. I think perhaps it is the Mother of Teenagers thing. You just never know what curve ball is going to be thrown at you next.

I remain... the Prayer Warrior.

Peace.

Posted by Boudicca at January 2, 2012 02:12 PM