January 19, 2012
Funky Mary
So, Latch Hook Rug Jesus is staying. The WTF is an old coffee roaster and the family wants to keep it. I am asking them to ask Joe about it. I'm taking pix of some things to send to DDP and...
... I think there is one last story.
I was standing in the parking lot to Joe's condo, talking to his niece. We were loading the religious paraphenalia into my car when she said, "And then there is this..."
It was something that had been 'domed'. A round piece of wood was in her hand with a small statue attached to it, off to one side. The glass dome was in her other hand.
'I'll take the glass dome and recycle it,' I replied. "What... IS that?"
Her husband took the bottom of the round base and she said, "Well, there was a St. Gerard, but he came off. There is only this little Mary now..." and she took hold of this funky little Mary, like she was going to pull a carrot from the ground, and she moved it to see if she could see how it was attached and... *SNAP* it popped off into her hand.
She stood there looking at the funky little Mary and her husband was looking at her with raised eyebrows.
"What?! What do I do with her now?" she exclaimed.
Her husband shook his head.
I replied, "Well, if you give her to me, I'm throwing her in the trash, 'cuz I'm not Catholic..."
Her husband took funky little Mary and I suspect... that's where she went. But I'm not sure.
Meanwhile, I was not sure where the St. Gerard went; why was it still not on the base?
I went through the items in my car today and there he was... I think he must've snapped off as well at some point.
And... I am realizing now why little Mary seemed funky.
THEY FRICKIN' GLOW! I took St. Gerard into a dark room and he glowed green. Holy crap. We have glowing religious plastic statues.
So I'm trying to figure out, who buys a glow in the dark 8 inch plastic St. Gerard and a smaller glow in the dark plastic Mary positioned on a small wooden platform, to be covered with a big glass dome, obviously for display, that can be seen night AND day?
Who?
I'm keeping glow in the dark St. Gerard. I can't give him up. Seriously, I'm filing him under "you can't make this stuff up". I'm just pissed that glow in the dark Mary is now glowing in a garbage can somewhere.
We broke up a set.
Dammit.
He GLOWS!
For the record... my husband isn't finding humor in any of this. Meanwhile, I'm LMAO.
Posted by Boudicca at January 19, 2012 09:33 PMYou should have taken funky Mary and Gerard to the Antiques Road show. They might have been worth $$.
Posted by: sticks at January 19, 2012 10:28 PMI did some search on the 'net and these are evidently VERY popular. Who knew? They are big to use in bedrooms instead of nightlights and stuff. People collect them. Hmm. One site said they were perfect for the family altar. That threw me...
Posted by: Bou at January 19, 2012 10:55 PMOf course you know all I can think of now is paul newman singing plastic jesus in cool hand luke.
Posted by: K-Nine at January 19, 2012 11:24 PMhttp://youtu.be/6kECF4NPkKA
Posted by: K-Nine at January 19, 2012 11:25 PMOne of my relatives, who is Catholic, gave me a glow in the dark Crucifix when I was a kid… It used to hang on my wall and since we were not a religious family, but rather a superstitious family, everyone was scared to death to take it down, throw it out or frankly even comment on it… Only Jesus and the Scripture above him would glow.. The cross did not. At some point in time, it fell from the wall and Jesus was decapitated. I was scared shitless that my Mom would freak so I hung it back up, sans head… Not one person ever noticed…. Headless Jesus hung in that room for the next 7 years or so and was still hanging there when I left for the Army and I have not seen him since…
Posted by: P'cola Titan at January 19, 2012 11:48 PMI love this stuff!! I once bought a small box of plastic crosses at a Catholic thrift store. The nun on duty wouldn't let me leave without giving a 10 minute blessing of the crosses. It was precious. I figure I'm set for life now...or death...whichever.
Posted by: DogsDontPurr at January 20, 2012 12:49 AMWhy is the grace scene from Talledega Nights going through my head...Dear Lord Baby Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Dominos, KFC, and the always delicious Taco Bell.....my mother in law has a house altar by the way, may be an Italian thing?
Posted by: Trudy at January 20, 2012 07:48 AMThere are times that I blog that I think, "the comments to these posts are more fun that the post itself... and the post was fun to write." Today would be one of those days...
Trudy- I'm not sure. I think there is definitely a cultural thing going on here. I know I'm walking with more trepidation around my husband about this because I'm realizing, this is what he grew up with. I'm finding this entire thing humorous. To him... it is what he knows.
I mean, folks, seriously, I wish there had been a camera when I walked into the closet with Glow in the Dark St. Gerard. I grabbed him out of my car to write this post, and I'm thinking, "This seriously looks like that light green glowy plastic material..." and something else is saying, "No... who would make something like this that glows?" and the devil on the other shoulder is screaming like a banshee, "GO IN THE CLOSET AND TRY IT! GO! GO! GO!" so totally egging me on.
And then I walked in, slowly, thinking, "This is absurd" and then when I got halfway in and the thing started to glow in my hands, I shrieked, "NO FRICKIN' WAY! IT GLOWS!" and I started to laugh maniacally.
I'm keeping him. I'm tempted to keep him on my desk at work. The twisted side of me quietly laughs at the thought of this glowing St. Gerard sitting in the middle of an aerospace building... glowing through the night.
Posted by: Bou at January 20, 2012 09:08 AMWant me to make a pedestal for it? That would look really classy on your desk.... the pedestal, I mean. */;-)
Posted by: Angus of Jura at January 20, 2012 10:10 AMOh yes... a pedestal would be GREAT!!! and if your boss says a thing, I'll find some way to make it compliant or if you'll let me have it, I'll sit it on my desk until your boss comes by. BAWHAHAHAHAHA
Posted by: vwbug at January 20, 2012 10:56 AMI am Catholic and I find this series of blog posts hilerious! Of course I am a Holiday Catholic so maybe that is it.
I had a glow in the dark cross when I was younger, they gave them out at CCD
Posted by: Quality Weenie at January 20, 2012 12:28 PMSpeaking as a cradle Catholic...when as a child you awaken in the middle of the night and there is Mary or Jesus glowing in the dark watching over you...it's actually very reassuring. As is the glow in the dark rosary.
Posted by: Mrs. Who at January 20, 2012 06:31 PMI also am a cradle Catholic, and am laughing as I read the comments. I grew up with a glow-in-the-dark Mary on my dresser.
Just reently, a young friend of mine joined the convent. At her going away party, they handed out cheap, goofy glow in the dark crosses. But I found this one I like better:
http://www.amazon.com/Glow-Dark-Beaded-Rosary-Beads/dp/B003NG1UNE
I may have to order this for my paator!! LOL
Posted by: Mary at January 22, 2012 06:04 PM