February 25, 2012

Bones' World: Mom is Dumb

The other day, I came home from work and was cleaning, getting ready for dinner, when Bones walked out the back door, into the middle of the yard, and started to hang out behind a large pine tree.

I had to run to the grocery store and said to his brothers, "What's up with Bones?"

They replied, "He's out back..."

I looked out the back window and he was just... hanging around this tree, mostly hidden.

Me: Is your brother doing drugs?

Ringo and T: *blink* What?

Me: Something is weird. Is your brother doing drugs?

Ringo and T: Mom, that may be the dumbest thing we've ever heard. No.

Me: Right.

And I left.

I came home and Bones was inside and he said, "I felt so much better. My stomach hurt and the fresh air really really helped me a lot... Now I know, that's where I should go when I don't feel well, outside."

Last year, we were at a Silent Auction for Boy Scouts when Bones conned his Dad into allowing him to purchase a little computer camera for just a couple bucks. Since then he has asked me a few times to set up Skype for him.

I don't allow him to have a FB account. No good can come of that. We're talking about Bones, afterall.

Two days ago, it reached a crescendo. "Mom, Mom, Mom, you need to set me up a Skype account! Mom, please, you said you would. Mom, Mom, Mom."

I got up and jokingly said, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

He got quiet, looked at me and said defensively, "Why would you say that? No. No, of course not. " Which I immediately knew to be a HUGE lie.

I dragged it out of him, got his Skype set up and promptly sent invitations from his account to my Mom and Dad and to Mo from his account saying something like, 'I have a new girlfriend, so Mom set up this Skype account for me. Will you accept my invitation for Skype?"

He was horrified and immediately sent a Skype comment to both accounts saying "I didn't send that!" Or something to that effect.

I pulled T aside later and said, "Did you know that Bones has a girlfriend?"

T: Yeah. Why do you think he was outside the other day? He was talking to her on the phone.

Me: That liar. "Oh, I have a stomachache" What a jerk. I can't believe that. What do you know?

T: Nothing. I think she's a Dance major at school.

Me: That's it?

T: And she has big thighs.

Me: *blink*

T: That's what he said. I don't know anything else.

So this is what I've pieced together, Bones has a girlfriend, who is a Dance major, a little taller than him, and she has big thighs, and he goes outside to talk to her. I haven't seen her on his Skype account, but I am monitoring.

Good grief.

Meanwhile, Ringo was sick AGAIN this week, relapsing. We're not sure if he just has a bad cold he can't shake or a sinus infection, but he came home from school early on Thursday and slept from 10AM until 6:30AM the next morning.

I said to Bones, "I think if I take him in, I'm going to have him tested for Mono..."

Bones: He can't have Mono. You catch that from kissing girls.

Hunh. Just thought I'd throw that out there to the blogosphere. I didn't realize it was a cause and effect.

Stupid me straightened him out. Considering HE is the one that has the girlfriend that he is trying to hide from me, I should have allowed him to continue believing that kissing girls will give you Mono.

Dang it.

Posted by Boudicca at February 25, 2012 12:29 PM

A dancer with big thighs? Must be a serious dancer!

BTW, we have had some horrid flu bug here. It leaves people tired, and hangs on for a while.

Posted by: PeggyU at February 25, 2012 06:30 PM

Same nasty lingering fatiguey flu here. But you can get Mono from close contact with an infected person, same as a cold or flu... so theoretically, you can get it from kissing...

Posted by: caltechgirl at February 25, 2012 11:40 PM

Peggy- Yeah, that was kind of my thought. She is probably really really muscular. I'm wondering if she's an ice skater on the side...

CTG- Well it is the kissing disease. I'm sure he's heard about it at school. It was just funny how 1) he knows that Ringo doesn't have a gf and 2) that he thinks that's the only way you get it.

But yeah, he has that nasty flu and he's not shaking it easily. A couple weeks ago, he slept for four days straight. I got a milder version of it and just felt a little cruddy.

Posted by: Bou at February 26, 2012 09:39 AM