March 24, 2012

Black and White

I am home, having spent the last two days loving on my two sweet nieces. They make me laugh.

The Great Flambina... she is not what she appears to be. She decided she was going to the grocery store to get some ice cream for Mr. T. (it was pretend, although T really did want ice cream) so she got all glammed up. She put on her hollywood sunglasses, her mardi gras beads, and got her special purse, put it on her forearm and said, "Buh bye! I'm going to get Ice Cream for T!" and off she walked to the front door.

However, if you'd stopped her and searched her purse, you'd have found it was full of matchbox cars, because my little glamorous, loves the dresses, purses, and shoes, niece... is REALLY REALLY into matchbox cars.

I frickin' love that.


And my eldest pulled up at the airport to gather his dear Mother and younger brothers and take them home.

He popped the trunk so T could load our bags and I looked in and saw this big pink thing.

Me: What???

T: Oh. That's Ringo's. It's a giant inflatable p-enis.

Me: You MUST be kidding me...

I got in the car and said, "There is a giant inflatable p-enis in your trunk."

Ringo, looking sideways at me: Uh yeah.

Me: First, I'm glad it's not a giant inflatable v-agina, but I think I'm owed the backstory on the item in your trunk.

Evidently it was his buddy's bday, someone got it for said buddy, said buddy didn't want it, and so it was stowed in my son's trunk.

I txt'd my husband, "Did you know that YOUR son has a giant inflatable p-enis in his trunk?"

Hunhead: Yes... I did. I had hoped that he would deflate it before he picked you up from the airport...

Me: No such luck.

I looked at my son and said, "Your Dad had hoped you'd have deflated it before you got me from the airport..."

Now we're doing 60 down I-95, he's focused on the road, "Yeah, but what a hassle. Then I'd have to eventually blow it back up!"

Me: Oh? And WHY would you have to blow it back up?

Ringo, completely shocked looking *drama*: Mom. What fun is a giant DEFLATED p-enis in the trunk of one's car?

There is that. That's what I get for asking...

Such sweetness in the morning with my baby nieces only to come home to giant inflatable sex organs in the back of my teenager's trunk...

Sidenote: Don't think for a minute I'm not thinking of making a fake giant Trojan package and stowing it in his trunk when he's not aware...

Posted by Boudicca at March 24, 2012 02:32 PM

You should totally do that! That would be hilarious!

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at March 24, 2012 04:53 PM

I'm soooo helping you with this. That is GREAT!

Posted by: vwbug at March 24, 2012 04:59 PM

The topic came up at dinner tonight. He said it's become his car's mascot. WTF?! I said "Mascot? You mean this thing comes out of your trunk?" And his reply was, 'yeah, sometimes when we're all just hanging around in a parking lot somewhere, it comes out of my trunk and sits on the hood... But not at school. I think they'd take it and get mad."

Yeah, Good call on his part. I'm not thinking the Catholic School would not think much of their students having an inflatable p-enis on the hood of their car in the school parking lot in the morning...

Posted by: Bou at March 24, 2012 07:28 PM

So... Flambina is already deciding what cars she wants ... how many sports cars does she have??

Posted by: The Thomas at March 24, 2012 07:44 PM

She's actually into trucks. She really likes little dump trucks when she's in her sandbox.

Posted by: Bou at March 24, 2012 08:55 PM

That story about Ringo reminded me of T1G's 40th birthday. Someone got him some stand-up sexy chicky poo, and since we drove together, in my car, it got put in my trunk. When I dropped him off at home he didn't want to take it with him so we left it in my trunk. Remember, I was an outside Sales Rep at the time. Yeah.....that damned thing was in my trunk until I moved back to Florida. I'd see it every day, but by the time I got home I kept forgetting about it. Yeah...that was sorta embarrassing!

Posted by: Tammi at March 24, 2012 09:14 PM

I had Matchbox cars and trucks as a kid. Didn't know girls liked them too.

I LOVE your son's logic on what good's a deflated fake penis and that he's smart enough not to show it off at school. Sounds like he picked up some of his parents' brains....

Posted by: George P at March 25, 2012 09:54 AM

Hmmm....morphsuits + giant p-balloon...oh, the fun they could have, lol!

Posted by: Mrs. Who at March 25, 2012 10:54 AM