July 22, 2012

Random bits and pieces

Bones and I went to the funeral yesterday. It was well done. It was sad. Enough said.

On to the odd...

I walked into work the other day and there was a 3x5 card taped to the freezer that said in block print, "If you didn't buy it, don't eat it". Evidently food from the fridge has come up missing.

This has added a lot of speculation as to who it is that is pilfering food that is not theirs. We have a group of new hires and we suspect it is this younger generation as for the last seven years we've not had this problem. The funny thing is the food that has gone missing.

One girl had her cheese sticks stolen.

One guy had his bologna sandwich taken. He thought he'd misplaced it until he looked in the garbage can and found the paper wrapping alongside the tomatoes he'd packed to slice up to go on it.

Evidently the food thief does not like tomatoes.

But the funniest one to date is what happened to me. When I was in Pensacola, my brother introduced me to this juice that is green like pea soup. It's heavy with vegetable and fruit along with other vitamin additives. I decided that during the times I'm getting hungry at work, this wouldn't be a bad thing to do... drink a cup of it and it'll tide me over to lunch.

I walked into work with it in my hand the other day and our head of security, who is an avid runner and health nut (other than his confessed addiction to fried chicken) said to me, "What in the hell is that?!" After looking at it he said, "I don't think I could drink that. Just... the color makes you not want to drink it..."

I drank half of it, put my initials on the top and put it in the fridge.

Two days later I went to grab it and... it was gone. My half finished bottle of thick green juice was gone...

I said something to the head of security about how this juice disappeared, mainly as a joke as in, "Our thief is evidently not a germ phobe as I actually had my lips around that small container and he stole it..."

Our security guy's eyes got big and he said, "Bou. I'm blown away it was stolen, not because the thief isn't a germ phobe, but because... who in the hell would want to take that?! I saw it! No way I'd want to drink it!"

So the mystery broadens, plot thickens... this food thief has odd tastes and serious boundary issues.

It's definitely got everyone talking... nearly as much as the woman upstairs someone dubbed the 'unipooper'. She took to taking a crap in the middle of the bathroom floor. What is up with people?


They say if you have a guestroom that you should sleep in the bed to see how it is for your guests. My husband and I are having some work done in the master bedroom, after 17 years, it needed to be done, so we're sleeping in the guestroom.

There is no known depth to the horror I'm feeling for all my guests over the last 17 years.

1) I have known that room is warm. I have worked with a/c people to try to cool it off. I need to work with them more and when I have guests, I will now drop the a/c down to 'snow' because it is inexcusable that my guests be that warm.

2) The bed is hard. I need some sort of 'down' something on the mattress. The first night, my husband and I were laying on the bed, when in the dark I heard his voice say, "This bed is hard". It takes firm to a whole new level. Holy crap.

3) The fan in that room needs trim balancing. (I don't know what they call it for ceiling fans. I know that's what we call it in the jet engine world when we need to make sure the blades are all balanced.) When you put the fan on high, to offset the fact the room is so damn warm, it makes this loud 'tick tick tick' noise. There is NO WAY in hell you can sleep with that. Holy crap. And you need the fan on high as the room is really that warm.

So... I'll be researching today on how to balance that fan. My project over the next couple months is... get the fan balanced and a down feather bed for that mattress.

Good Lord. And nobody... ever... said... a word. Ever.

Posted by Boudicca at July 22, 2012 09:56 AM

unipooper... holy, er, crap! What the hell is wrong with people?!

We recently bought a futon for our guest bedroom. I think it's fairly comfortable, for a futon, and have napped on it to try it out.

I'm blown away by your unipooper.

Posted by: wRitErsbLock at July 22, 2012 11:13 AM

Writersblock... I know. Really. And I think it happened twice. It was a big deal, obviously, but so much comic material. They actually had to post signs talking about vandalism. We work for an engineering company. I was like, 'Who vandalizes an engineering company?' and silly me was thinking someone had written something on a wall or scraped some rug or something like that. Then I found out what was happening and were all doing a big *blink*.

Even odder, there are SO FEW women who work for our company. So then the joke was that the women on our floor had it out for the women on the upper floor, so we were 'vandalizing' their bathroom to be nasty to them.

The whole thing was just so... wrong.

And I hear they know who it was or they have a suspect. I don't know who, but everytime I see a woman from that floor I wonder... "Is she the unipooper?" Heh.

Posted by: Bou at July 22, 2012 11:50 AM

We used to have a food thief at my office, but seemed to stop when we labeled our containers in the fridge. I once labeled my container, "keep your filthy hands off my food". I had my food stolen on more than one occasion.

Posted by: tina at July 22, 2012 12:07 PM

A few years ago we bought a truck camper. Noticed the previous owner had purchased a 2 inch gel memory foam topper for the mattress. I believe he picked it up at Costco. Very comfortable to these old bones.

I only know about A/C from listening to the DH. Concepts you've probably explored -- room is farthest from the air handler. If flexible duct is used there may be a kink. Damper in duct-work is closed. If tape was used to join the duct it may have dried out and air is leaking into the attic space.

I understand the fridge locker is hard to put together and the lock is iffy at best. A cable luggage lock might work if you have a zippered lunch bag. Reminds me of those old tupperware commercials of locking in the freshness. *grin*

Posted by: cin at July 22, 2012 12:16 PM

Re: the A/C, it could be something a simple as a damper or a blockage on the cold air return from that room.

Did the cold air return end up behind a dresser or is it blocked by a night stand?

You have to draw air out of the room to have volume to push air in.

Posted by: The Thomas at July 22, 2012 02:02 PM

This is an ongoing problem with that room, one that I've had A/C guys looking at for at least the last 12. It's RIGHT NEXT to the airhandler and it has been an issue since this house was built.

Nothing is up agains the cold air return. Nothing is blocking or kinked.

It's crazy.

Cin- I'll be emailing you...

Posted by: Bou at July 22, 2012 03:33 PM

A co-worker got tired of her food being stolen, so she made a big roast beef sandwich and stuck the biggest cockroach she could find in the middle. Yep, it was stolen....

Posted by: George P. at July 22, 2012 03:35 PM

Breathable memory foam topper. Cheap easy and comfortable.
I'm sort of also with George, it's juvenile, but exlax chocolate chip cookies have always been a winner.

Posted by: K-nine at July 22, 2012 04:31 PM

Try the Naked Juice Green Machine! You'll love it. I promise.......

Posted by: Tammi at July 22, 2012 04:53 PM

A good floor fan might work in your guest room. My room was getting warm and I got a tower fan and it really helps.

Posted by: Sissy at July 22, 2012 08:50 PM

For the food thief-- A webcam (working or non, depending on your price range) over the fridge should take care of it. If that doesn't work, a cleverly hidden exploding dye pack should tell you who the culprit is.

Posted by: Andrew Phule at July 23, 2012 01:53 AM

Kindly ask the unipooper to leave a note explaining what makes her do that. One of our cats has taken to doing the same thing, and we would like to understand the motivation so we can discourage the behavior!

Posted by: PeggyU at July 23, 2012 03:57 AM

LOL @ Peggy...

The food thief is bad enough, but a unipooper? Hope you discover her identity... and what makes her... tick.

Posted by: pam at July 23, 2012 12:24 PM

Sounds like some people at your work desperately need to be fired.

There are few worse workplace sins than to steal someone else's food. Or better opportunities for revenge...

And as for the unipooper - I think public humiliation in front of the entire workforce, followed by termination, would be in order. For some egregious offenses, public executions should be allowable.

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Posted by: snapbacks wholesale at July 23, 2012 04:01 PM

Seems I am blind again. Didn't even know about the food issue. Guess part time helps... besides no one would want to steal my food. Ugh.

Posted by: vwbug at July 24, 2012 07:01 AM

I am just amazed at the things people will do... holy crap... so to speak!!!!

For the food thief, you could put up a camera and see if you can either discourage the person (fake cam) or catch them in the act which would be fun.

I'm with Sissy on the floor fan. We have central a/c but even with a ceiling fan you sometimes need the power of a floor fan to move the air around. Moving air, even in a warm room, makes the room feel much cooler.

Definitely check the ceiling fan for problems. The last thing you want is for it to crash down onto the bed! I know a few people who have had ceiling fans just fall to the floor so it's a safety issue. (my boss had a ceiling fan that fell from a vaulted ceiling and shattered a coffee table!)

Check online reviews for various toppers before buying. I bought one once for a guest bed and was later disappointed that it just didn't feel very good to lay on. Like all bedding stuff, it's not created equal. ;)

Posted by: Teresa at July 24, 2012 09:26 AM

..... crapping in the middle of the bathroom floor??..... either someone seriously wants to make a statement about their place of employment OR they have a mental illness..... sheesh.......

Posted by: Eric at July 24, 2012 09:36 AM

I've only heard about pooping in blue-collar environments. It shouldn't be hard to figure out who was the most recent person in the bathroom. But if it happens over night (where it would be harder to tell), are you even sure it's a female?

Engineers never do anything for a single reason. We always are looking at ways to solve more than one problem at the same time. Somehow it seems like there ought to be a solution to the pooping and food stealing that neatly solves both problems at the same time. But the only thing that comes to mind is labeling your food so it looks like it is evidence being held against the poop bandit.

Which reminds me, if management really gets curious, poop carries human DNA. Get it analyzed and you'll have a physical description of the person it came from.

Posted by: Carl Brannen at July 24, 2012 03:52 PM

Maybe you need to get this magnet that The Bloggess made:

It says: "I've poisoned something in the refrigerator. Good luck with that."

(I tried to post a link to it, but your site won't let me. But you can find it over at thebloggess.com. She has a link to her shop on the side.)

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at July 24, 2012 04:59 PM

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Posted by: aessay.org at July 25, 2012 07:34 AM

Dad used to put out signs in the watermelon patch he grew out underneath the powerlines in the Summer that read: "One of these melons has been highly poisoned, take your pick".

Posted by: Allen Keyes at July 25, 2012 11:28 AM