November 30, 2012

Roaring Presentations

I was informed a couple weeks ago that senior management wants me to brief some even more senior management coming in from a State where it snows. A lot.

That would be HQ.

They want me to brief this enormous project I've been working since May. I told my boss, "No problem. I'll get some slides together, you review them, we're good."

He told me it was going to be a sit down, just a couple of us at a round table. So I put it together this week when I wasn't working on this massive project. I've been working split shift all week. I leave at 3 and go back in at 6 and work until 10.

This morning my boss said, 'I owe you an apology... I lied to you.'

Me: Umm... well, let's see. Remember how you said you got me an extension until 31 January to wrap up that project?

Boss: Yes.

Me: Did you lie?

Boss: No, that was true.

Me: So I'm still not under the gun until 31 December... I truly have until 31 Jan, right?

Boss: Right.

Me: Then nothing else matters.

Boss: So says you who does not know what I did... it appears I was in error. That closed door session with you briefing the big guys on your project? It's an open door presentation with everyone in the building invited.



Me: You're kidding me. As in... 'stand in front of a wall with my slide show for God and Country to see'?

Boss: Yeah.

Me: Hunh. Bonus for me, my topic isn't interesting at all. Nobody is going to want to see it...

Voice from another Cube: Don't count on it...

There was complete silence in the cube farm after that until finally I said, 'Well... absolutely not one person in this company has any clue what I do or what's been going on, so they can ask me whatever they want and I can say whatever I want and not one person is going to know the difference.'

Another Voice from another Cube: Exactly. Dazzle them. We aren't worried.

So there you have it. That's next Friday's gig. I wonder what in the hell they're all going to think when they see me.

I am going to an event tomorrow and was asked to dress as a Roaring 20's Flapper. To get in the part, I had my hair cut circa 1920's. I brought a picture of a Flapper to my hairdresser today and so now my hair is short with short bangs. I have dark smokey black eye make up, cherry red lipstick and 3 foot long pearls to go with the dress.

And that is how my hair will be next week when I do my presentation. Maybe I'll wear the pearls too...

Posted by Boudicca at November 30, 2012 11:44 PM

I soooo have to go to work on Friday... but we are suppose to be making a science borito at school... darn it... Pics of the Flapper Lady please!!!

Posted by: vwbug at December 1, 2012 06:28 AM

Well, thank goodness you are an intelligent, prepossessing woman totally at ease speaking to large groups.

I'd be terrified.

Posted by: pam at December 1, 2012 08:42 AM

Yes, pics please!

And you'll do great. Although, I must admit, when you talked about that 20s haircut and then having to razzle-dazzle them...I kind of pictured you dressed like the dancers in this scene:

You'd keep their attention.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at December 1, 2012 11:17 AM

Good luck. I think of myself as shy, but have become pretty good at showing off critters and talking about them at the zoo. But put me on a stage in front of a big group and my brain and mouth would both turn to mush.

Posted by: George P at December 1, 2012 02:46 PM

Touch the pearls and wave sweetie! It's the secret to all great presentations!

Posted by: Tammi at December 1, 2012 08:48 PM

So, you're giving your presentation on Pearl Harbor Day?

Posted by: Prestersean at December 2, 2012 02:18 PM

OMG YES!!!! The pearls are a must!!! Absolutely. I love it. LOL. I wish I could be there to see it. You'll be excellent.

Posted by: Teresa at December 2, 2012 08:18 PM

I am giving my presentation... wearing Pearls... on Pearl Harbor Day. Hmmm. I think I might just have to start a new tradition of wearing Pearls on Pearl Harbor Day...

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