February 14, 2013

Mr. Smexy

Bones came out this morning, dressed for school: dress pants, dress shoes, black long sleeved dress shirt, and belt. He brushed his hair and said to me, "Do I look smexy?"

To which I replied, "What in the heck is smexy?"

Bones: Smart and Sexy.

Me: First, you are my SON. You will NEVER be smexy to me. EVER. Second, you are THIRTEEN. You are a boy. Thirteen year olds are not smexy.

Bones: Ma. Really.

And so that is how our day started with a 13 year old, Mr. Smexy, going off to school to conquer Valentine's Day.

He didn't see the girl who isn't his girlfriend today, other than to slip her the heart confetti filled envelope.

He received two candy lollipops, both from secret admirers, neither of whom spelled his name correctly.

First or Last.

Now what is funnier, to me, is the fact he goes to an art school, with a very diverse student body, when I said, "So, do you have any suspicions as to who the little girls are?", he replied, "Well, the first one... it... 'cuz I don't know, it could be a boy..."

I nearly fell out laughing.

It turns out, he thinks the first one was a joke, from the 6th grade boy that calls him 'Mr. Clown'.


I have often wondered if it was bad that my boys didn't have a sister. How do you learn how much hurt can go into being the other sex if you don't witness it? Watching my brother, I was very conscious of making sure a guy didn't spend too much on me, I tried to think of cheap ways to date, and always tried to reciprocate. If he didn't let me pay for a meal, I'd cook.

So I have wondered. What has happened instead is my boys have a lot of friends that are girls. I mean real friends, that they aren't dating, but literally hang with and bounce things off of.

For Ringo, there are four girls in particular. They've all been in my house at one time or another. One of them is of the Murdering Campbells. Those of you who have been reading me, know of all the stories of this little girl he's known since he was five.

All four girls currently do not have boyfriends and therefore did not have dates. As a senior in high school, when everything feels still so personal, they were sad and thought the whole situation stunk.

So on the way home from the gym tonight, he stopped by Publix and picked up each girl some flowers and a small bar of chocolate and drove to each of their homes to drop them off.

I didn't know what to say. I sure has hell never prompted this action... this empathetic action towards a girl.

I said, "What did they say?"

He said, "They thanked me and said I made their Valentine's Day happy..."

I spent time then explaining to him, something I suspect he already knew: It truly is the thought. It doesn't have to be diamonds and balloon rides and big fancy dinners. It can be the simplicity of 'you took the time out of your day to think of me...".

I also told him that these young women would remember it for the rest of their lives.

Like I remember the time I was 20 and moved back to town and an old friend of mine from high school, a boy, painted a 10 foot sign on wood, and had it placed in my parents' front yard... welcoming me home.

And... I think that Ringo's actions probably raised him up in the eyes of the parents, not that he needed it. But whenever someone does something that is kind for my boys, something that lifts their spirits, I always remember that action and what it meant.... and who did it.

Tonight, I genuinely think that Ringo felt deeply, 'it was better to give than to receive'. He looked happy.

Posted by Boudicca at February 14, 2013 10:28 PM

today, my honours algebra ii class all chipped in and bought me flowers -- first flowers i've ever received for valentine's day. i will never forget these kids.

Posted by: rae at February 14, 2013 11:40 PM

Holy crap... that is so touching! That means... you are making an impact! Those kids, they love what you are doing. The ultimate compliment.

Posted by: Bou at February 15, 2013 06:51 AM

Tears. First laughing, imagining Bones as 'smexy' and his getting lollipops, one maybe from a guy. And then tears, like those you get when a really touching song plays on the radio, when Ringo took flowers to friends, just to cheer them up. Boy, your boys... they are just incredible.

Posted by: Jody at February 15, 2013 07:14 AM

I gave them a quiz yesterday, and put a bonus question on the board:

Solve for i:
9x - 7i > 3(3x - 7u)

There were a lot of "Ohhh! I get it!" occurrences when they each realized it solves to say, "i

Posted by: rae at February 15, 2013 07:53 AM

You realize that in 15 years or so at least three of those girls are going to consider him "the one that got away."

Posted by: Pogue at February 15, 2013 08:23 AM

Jody- I am in trouble with Mr. Smexy. What a dork. It's funny too, because when this whole conversation occurred with my saying, "You are my SON. You will NEVER be smexy to me..." at the end my eldest said to him, "Don't ever ask her if you're smexy again. She's right. That's just wrong. She's Mom." Heh.

Rae- I loved math teachers that did fun things with numbers. We all loved stuff like that!

Pogue- It's funny how these relationships have progressed. He was in love with the Murdering Campbell for years... since he was 5. And I think he finally outgrew it a couple years ago. He truly doesn't feel that way anymore. Her parents really really like him... in particular her Dad. And I think one day she will be the one that realizes... he got away.

Posted by: Bou at February 15, 2013 09:02 AM

Your boys... your decent, honorable, smart, funny boys are a direct result of their wonderful parents. They raise *you* in the eyes of parents as well.

If only every parent loved their children as much!

Posted by: pam at February 15, 2013 09:28 AM

What Pam said. Your kids have marvelous parents.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at February 16, 2013 10:27 AM