April 01, 2013

Living with Fools

My two sisters in law are visiting. My husband has two older sisters... most of you know... one extremely right wing and the other extremely left. You cannot be with two people more polar opposite in their beliefs, yet so similar in personality.

I love them both dearly, but they cannot stay in my home at the same time. They make each other bat crap crazy and the fighting will escalate to stuff they make movies about on the Oxygen network. It stresses me out when they both stay with me, so we make sure each has a different place to stay.

Last time they both stayed with me, I told my husband I was moving out. When they realized I really was done, things calmed down, but it should never get to that point.

Anyway, so they're both here. God love them, they're probably two of the most neurotic people I've ever met, short of the dance teacher at school. My sisters in law are sane, just... neurotic.

Today Bones went to the beach with both of them. I begged off. I don't do the sun in the middle of the day and so since they didn't get off until 3 (don't go there with me regarding their timeliness issues) they thought I would go with them. I assured them there was no reason for me to go.

In reality, I knew I could not...

Bones told me tonight, "Mom. Oh my God. I went to the beach with them by myself. We were in the car and I thought, "what did I get myself into? I just wanted to go to the beach..." Mom, it was bad..."

But he had a good time and they calmed down. Evidently, he had to be the adult.


So my one sister in law asked me if there were April Fools jokes in my home. I replied, "I live with fools all year round. My whole life is one big joke. Please..."

Bones decided, however, to play a joke on his aunts. He decided that he'd put coffee in the water tank of the guest room toilet so when the toilet flushed it would be poop brown.

I told him coffee was too expensive, so he used Nesquick and water.

Sure enough, my sister in law came out tentatively, "Bou... umm... at first I thought maybe someone needed to drink more water because the water in your toilet was dark, but after I flushed... I think you're losing your well..."

Of course this broke Bones up. He wanted them to think our water was contaminated.

He also wanted to replace Ringo's deodorant with butter. He had dreamed up some way to do it, but I nixed it. Ringo is like me. We don't do April Fools.

I can't even imagine what it would be like if Bones actually got a stick of butter in Ringo's deodorant stick. I'd be unscrewing him from the ceiling.

No thanks.

Posted by Boudicca at April 1, 2013 09:00 PM

Bones makes me happy.

Posted by: K-nine at April 1, 2013 10:43 PM

ooh... I like the toilet prank. I might have to do that to my boss.

Posted by: writersblock at April 2, 2013 08:19 AM

Gotta give him points for originality.

Posted by: diamond dave at April 2, 2013 08:32 AM

What a creative kid! I don't care for jokes on April 1st... but I love Bones.

Posted by: pam at April 2, 2013 08:34 AM

I don't do April fools either but definite creative points to Bones.

I'm laughing at Bones as the "adult" in the car. OTOH the fact that he was able to do it and to get them calmed down bodes well for his future dealing with the wide world of bat crap crazy people. LOL.

Posted by: Teresa at April 2, 2013 02:57 PM

Bones may have a hidden talent for settling disputes. :)

Posted by: PeggyU at April 3, 2013 12:24 AM