October 13, 2013

Summer School...

... is inevitable.

It is here... my worst fears are being realized. It is the first 9 weeks of school and we are seeing that Bones will have to go to summer school.

I'm having a 504 plan pulled for him Wednesday.

The first nine weeks are the worst as we try to figure out how teachers operate, what they need, how things are posted.

He misses deadlines constantly, misunderstands directions if given verbally and... well... I don't see how he's going to end up with a high school diploma.

I cannot convey to you how stressful this is, to have a kid that has so much to offer, and yet could very well end up without a high school diploma.

You cannot get through life without a HS diploma anymore. You can't.

The crazy thing is... he thinks it's all going to be fine. In his head, it will all work out and I'm looking at the path, at the trajectory, trying to figure out how.

He's going to be on probation this 9 weeks. You're not allowed to fail a class in this school...

So we shall see.

Needless to say, I'm not sleeping much. I have no control over it and I'm very good at compartmentalizing, but even going out today for 30 minutes and walking to burn it off... didn't do it.

It's a day at a time...

Posted by Boudicca at October 13, 2013 07:48 PM

Living your world except my child is lashing out versus thinking all is good with the world. And big mouth said if he doesn't start listening and goes on propation, all electronics will be lost. Sigh. Must learn when I'm tired to shut up.

Posted by: vwbug at October 14, 2013 04:47 AM

Been here, done this. 9th grade. I had a 1.4 GPA at the end of it, and it took some talking (from my Mom) to keep me in the private school I was at.

For me it took going to a specialist in the area of youth education (they call it learning disabled, but I wish they could see the world my way, and then see if they would call it that) but my mind works differently than most. I had to find a way, for my mind to accept, process, and maintain the information I was required to know by the teachers. For this purpose, I had to find a structure, a reason, for my mind to place value on the information I was required to learn. My mind loves reason, but hates structure.

Grades were merely an abstract concept, one that I did not ascribe to much value to.

Your mind - brutally logical, always planning, looking forward, identifying, and preparing, is always going to run into difficulties trying to understand how to reach a mind like his. Trust me, my mom is a scientist with a mind like yours.

Patience. Support. Set realistic goals, help him figure out how to get there. They way you would do it probably will not work.

With your family behind him, he will succeed.

Posted by: Web at October 14, 2013 06:56 AM

Bou - I am reading a book right now called The Right Education, by Charles Murray. It may not help, but it does provide a new perspective on American education - and why it fails to work for many. I think you would find it an interesting read.

I have not made it that far into the book, but I hope that at some point he provides solutions.

Posted by: PeggyU at October 14, 2013 01:36 PM

In another world ... Insty has an article up about at 12yo Eagle Scout, completed his Eagle in 2 1/2 years while gathering twice as many merit badges as required.

Posted by: The Thomas at October 14, 2013 03:00 PM

Even more fun, the young man wants to earn all 126 possible merit badges by his 18th birthday.

That's going to take a couple of sashes.


Posted by: The Thomas at October 14, 2013 03:05 PM

VW- As I've said... he is the perpetual optimist. Don't follow him into battle, however. ;-)

Web- The more research I've been doing, the more I live with him the more I realize, he is normal and not just for him. When a significant portion of a population thinks like him, and they do, then the problem is not the child is learning disabled, but that we are putting the emphasis on every child that... does not belong.

It's like making every kid wear the same sized shoe. Some it will it perfect. Some will be slightly to big. Some the shoe will be pinched. But there will be a group of kids that the foot just is not going to fit in that dang shoe.

That is Bones. And I'm really really really irritated with our school system that they keep trying to crush his foot in that shoe, a shoe he doesn't belong wearing.

Our education system is failing a HUGE number of children, and yet they don't understand the answer isn't forcing every kid to learn Algebra or not get a high school diploma, but to make sure every kid is excelling where it matters for THEM to function and contribute to our society.

I have a post coming on this. I'm so irritated. So very irritated.

Peggy- It will be interesting to see if he's beating my drum.

Thomas- I cannot even imagine. I just need T to finish his last four and it's pulling teeth...

Posted by: Bou at October 14, 2013 09:22 PM

We're looking at the Lake Wobegon effect, all children are above average and will got to college.

One of my friends from the elementary school's advanced placement classes is a plumbing/heating contractor on the west coast. The rest are all over the place in terms of their professions.

Banker, Lawyer, Cop, ... several teachers, mortician, ... really too many lawyers.

Posted by: The Thomas at October 15, 2013 08:13 AM

I know others have said it, but I'll repeat it. It's really time to take a hard look at college education and ask whether it is worth it. For some career goals, such as medicine, it obviously still is. But there may be better, more cost-effective avenues to pursuing other vocations.

I keep asking myself if it is the education or the diploma which is the end desire. Unfortunately, the diploma is often used to filter job applicants. I believe, though, that with a little creativity and diligence, a person without a college degree can obtain an equivalent (or even better) education through independent study. The hard part is in selling that to a potential employer, but I imagine there are some who would listen. Generally speaking, nobody walks into a new job completely "ready", and employers may be interested in people who have the discipline to self-educate.

Posted by: PeggyU at October 15, 2013 12:03 PM

I'm the only one in my family with a high school diploma (and we're talking sisters, parents, grand parents, etc. I'm the only one.) I'm 46, and not once has it ever come up whether I had one or not. I also didn't go to college.

I found my own path straight out of high school, being my own boss, working with/being influenced by other creative people. I now own several businesses, own property, have homes in two states. But I didn't follow the corporate model. I couldn't! And my whole family is this way....successful in different types of business, not bogged down by corporate life or a boss or a 9 to 5 job.

So, all is not lost. It sounds like he is a super creative guy. Thinking outside of the box is a super good thing. He just needs to know that unconventional options are out there. And since that is not your personal style, you really need to align him with people who think that way.

One example would be to encourage him to get a job/internship/apprenticeship at an art gallery, rather than pressing him to get the usual after school jobs. Or find whatever it is that he's into and loves.

Do what you love and the money will follow is super true for those of us who march to a different drummer.

All is not lost. It just means you have to learn to think out of the box. Ha!

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at October 15, 2013 07:05 PM

Thomas- You are right. And we talk about that often... about how everyone is expected to go to college. Why is it a bad thing to be an electrician or a plumber?! Those are GREAT careers. And they're far more needed then some of the things kids are getting degrees in.

Peggy- I'm a huge proponent of the Vo-Tech. Why the hell we got rid of that... I'll never get. Why do we not have path for the kids that should be and would excel at working with their hands?

DDP- This is why I have Bones in a school only for artistic children. We're already on that path.

Posted by: Bou at October 15, 2013 07:31 PM