October 24, 2013

The beautiful essence of Bones

Bones thinks we should all collectively move as a family to Australia. He thinks its the only great country left.


Bones can't do math. Bones is not organized. But what Bones can do is... work with people and make them feel good.

It is a gift.

For the last 3 years he has sung with a young man who has many emotional and neurological issues, the kinds of issues that will never go away. The kinds of issues that require patience, medications, therapy and... prayer.

He has sensory issues... he can be totally overwhelmed with loud noise. He can break into fits of rage over small things that frustrate him. He can withdraw into himself like no other. He is brilliant mathematically, but socially, he will never fit.

He cares so deeply. He cannot handle seeing anything he interprets as an injustice to anyone or any group. It throws him over the edge, thinking of the pain that could be caused.

It is as if he is perpetually raw.

There are many things going on in this young man's head, but he is kind, he is good, he is smart. He would never hurt anyone. It pains me to know of their struggles, but he has AWESOME parents and if any kid is going to make it through the minefield that is in his head... it will be this young man because of the support he has at home.

Yesterday was picture day, which means that the boys all had to take their tuxes to school. (We had to purchase one a couple weeks ago.)

All the boys had changed and were outside waiting and this one young man who I will call, Adam, had not come out from changing.

They were waiting and waiting and finally Bones walked up to the vocal teacher and said, "Mrs. S... would you like me to go check on Adam?" He said she was hesitant and said, "Yes, please, but watch how you phrase things, ok?"

So Bones in a tux, ran over to the changing room and then quietly walked in and gently asked, "Hey, Adam. Looks like your tie is giving you a hard time? Do you mind if I help you?"

Adam was on the brink of a meltdown as he couldn't get it to be the right size and fasten correctly.

Adam looked relieved and said, "Yes, please."

Bones said he stepped over and said, "I'm going to touch your tie and adjust it now, OK?" and Adam nodded. Bones adjusted the tie, got it hooked and stepped away.

He continued, "Adam, look in the mirror. Now take the tips of your shirt and put them like this over your tie and you're going to be set. You look great..." and as Adam finished his shirt, Bones ran out to tell Mrs. S that it was all set and Adam was in a good place.

I think that Bones frustrates Adam at times. Bones is on all the time. There is no off button. But Adam also knows that Bones is kind and would never hurt anyone. They have that in common. Mrs. S realizes she can depend on Bones to help her.

And he feels good knowing... that he can.

Bones is good with people.

Posted by Boudicca at October 24, 2013 09:31 PM

Bones is a wonderful young man.

Posted by: vwbug at October 25, 2013 04:45 AM

Your son is blessed. All the things I read about your son always point out that he is truly gifted. He will go far in life.

I know that sometimes my comments don't always come across well. But I deal with a lot of people in my life that would be considered "different" by mainstream conservative types...so I am a little overly protective of my "tribe."

But, your post here expresses just how wonderful people can be...if we just take the time to understand what we can't always understand. In a perfect world, I wish everyone could be mindful like this.

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at October 25, 2013 04:57 AM

I'm at a loss, DDP. What made you think I'm mainstream conservative? I am neither mainstream nor conservative. I don't blog politics for a reason.

Posted by: Bou at October 25, 2013 06:20 AM

Bou~ I am always sticking my foot in my mouth! And as I said, some of my comments don't seem to translate well.

When I said "mainstream conservative" I wasn't necessarily pointing at you, I was sort of making a generality. And I wasn't really referring to politics either.

But! It cracks me up that you don't think of yourself as being conservative or mainstream. Your persona on your blog comes off as that totally. And I do not mean that as a dig. Some people are conservative and some people are not. Some people live life on the edge, and some people take a more conservative approach.

You and I are the same age, but we couldn't be more different in our approach to life. (You should read my "100 Things" blog post.) But that's why I like reading your blog. It opens me up to a lifestyle that I would never live and to people I would not normally hang with...and I like seeing things through different peoples glasses. I think it gives me a more full view on life.

I don't mean any of my comments to be a dig or negative. Sometimes humor, emotion, and sarcasm are hard to express in a written comment.

Posted by: DogsDontPurr at October 25, 2013 08:06 PM

You are truly blessed. There is no greater blessing than to have a child whose greatest enjoyment is in helping others less fortunate or popular than they are.

Posted by: diamond dave at October 25, 2013 08:25 PM

Beautiful post...beautiful people. Especially your Bones.

Posted by: Mrs. Who at October 25, 2013 09:49 PM

Well... I view being conservative (not politically speaking) as someone who doesn't like change. I don't have a problem with change.

There are some traditions, I do think have a good place and that I need. But... I have no problems making new ones.

I don't view myself as mainstream since I pretty much shun all that is pop culture or is a fad. I don't know who the famous people are, I am always a bit late in what people are wearing, and I don't buy things because anyone else has them. Does that make sense?

I don't have purple hair, but that's not my personality. I'm not a huge extrovert. I don't love standing out for any reason... except for my brain. I never have issue with being able to contribute intellectually to a conversation and won't shy away from that.

I like people in general to leave me alone, so I do dress more conservatively than most these days. I prefer to fly under the radar... I get more done that way.

As far as politics... I'm an Independent. Which I have been saying lately, gives me the opportunity to hate everyone. ;-) In general, it's more of an equal opportunity disgust.

I don't judge people by their race, religion or sexual preferences as long as everyone is a consenting adult. I don't care what people wear, but I do have opinions on things like, "Don't complain about people staring at your kid when you put your 8 year old in short shorts and you put her name across her butt."

I have many opinions... I think it is healthy to have opinions, but overall, I am probably one of the least judgmental people anyone will meet. I'm pretty accepting of people.

I hope I am passing that on to my children.

Posted by: Bou at October 25, 2013 10:38 PM