September 15, 2014

A Real Man

We often wonder as parents... how will our children turn out to be as adults? Will they be compassionate? Will they be hard workers? Will they be listeners? Will they be doers? Will they be trusted? Will they value others?

And the list goes on.

You cannot judge how your child will be based upon how they treat their siblings. There is always going to be fighting and things done in a family that would not occur outside of a home.

I always tell people, I'd rather my kids act up at home than at school.

Today... something happened that made my heart swell.

I cannot and would not go into much detail, but one of my second son's best friends is a girl. She had something very bad happen to her when she was in elementary school. Think of a horrific fear if you have a daughter and you've probably come up with it.

He and his friend have never spoken of it. He knows. She knows he knows. He has never asked. She has never volunteered. It just... is.

He is very protective of her. When he found out he was angry. He wanted the person dead. Right then. He cares deeply for her, but we have watched from afar and realized, he has created a sister/brother bond with this girl. She has no brothers and he no sisters and this relationship has formed that is comfortable for the both of them.

One of their teachers thought they were dating. That's how close they are.

In their AP English class, they have been asked to write about a life changing moment. Last week, their teacher told them he was going to randomly assign them all partners to read each other's work, however, if what you were going to write on was so deeply personal that you felt there was only one person in the class you could trust, then come see him and he'd make it happen.

And so today, he was not well. He is fighting a cold. I told him he could stay home, but he said to me, "the first two periods, I need sleep. But, I can't miss English."

He got up at 9 and went to school.

He came home today and told me that on Saturday he'd gotten a text from his friend that told him that she was going to write something very personal and that she told their instructor, only T could be her partner. No one else.

So T made it a priority to go to class today since he knew it was coming.

He is honored. He is humbled. He is protective. He has told no one, but me exactly what is going on. I am painting with broad strokes.

I am proud he is compassionate. I am proud he listens. I am proud he is there for a friend. I am proud... he is trusted.

He is becoming a Man.

And he is writing about his childhood friend being shot and killed this summer.

Such sad stories coming from extraordinary teenagers...

Posted by Boudicca at September 15, 2014 11:04 PM

I am glad my kids have been spared any of that sort of trauma. However, I do see the benefit of the exposure as well, in terms of contributing to maturity. Your son has my admiration!

Posted by: PeggyU at September 16, 2014 12:14 AM

..... wow, I am proud of him for being so very strong....... and of you for being such a kind, generous, and loving Mom......... your boys continue to amaze me me....

Posted by: Eric at September 16, 2014 06:48 AM

... And I would not expect anything less of any of your boys.

As a parent, one is often surprised at how their children turn out.

Posted by: The Thomas at September 16, 2014 08:28 AM

... Oh and I am glad that you have "gained" a "daughter". I assume that she has equal access to your house like your fourth "son".

Posted by: The Thomas at September 16, 2014 08:29 AM

She has not come to my house yet! Interestingly enough, they have never met each other's parents. It is... just them. Their own bubble. Very interesting.

Posted by: Bou at September 16, 2014 09:12 PM

That is Integrity, and it will serve him well.

Posted by: Web at September 17, 2014 01:07 PM

This will be another life turning event for this young lady. I suspect that it will be a great release for her. What a special young man you have! The trust they share will help her in future relationships. Thank you for sharing this story with us and kudos for the teacher and his assignment and sensitivity.

Posted by: Sticks at September 17, 2014 04:33 PM

You have so much to be proud of. They are growing up into fine young men! xx

Posted by: Shaz at September 21, 2014 08:11 PM

Trust is a beautiful thing. This made me tear up.

Posted by: Spockgirl at October 25, 2014 03:06 PM